Saturday, December 31, 2005
Well, Stef. Touch wood, there have been no arguments this evening. I feel kind of cheated. It is a tradition that Lorraine and myself argue on New Years Eve. What on earth is the world coming to? Are we, God forbid, getting used to each other?
It has been a good, if unradical day.
Woke up after 9am to a hungry Moon The Cat bouncing around the bedroom. Offered Lorraine sexual favours if she would get up to feed him. Lorraine declined. Went downstairs. Fed Moon The Cat. Watched kids TV for an hour or so. Washed. Dressed. We went into town and bought some last minute food items. Went to see a film ("Just Like Heaven", a romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo. The film was totally obvious and almost boringly entertaining. I am not at all sure that I like Reese Witherspoon very much, but I think that Mark Ruffalo is a brilliant actor who just needs a killer part to become a huge star. Did you know that he was lined up to play Mel Gibson's brother in "Signs", but had to pull out when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor? You did know that? I'll shut up then.) Went to see my Mom. My Mom's house was very loud. Everybody was there. Left after half an hour and went home.
It is New Years Eve. I am supposed to write something meaningful and philosophical, but I cannot be bothered with that. Instead... Here is a list of my favourite 10 films of the year, in no particular order.
Rock 'n' Roll, baby!
It has been a good, if unradical day.
Woke up after 9am to a hungry Moon The Cat bouncing around the bedroom. Offered Lorraine sexual favours if she would get up to feed him. Lorraine declined. Went downstairs. Fed Moon The Cat. Watched kids TV for an hour or so. Washed. Dressed. We went into town and bought some last minute food items. Went to see a film ("Just Like Heaven", a romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo. The film was totally obvious and almost boringly entertaining. I am not at all sure that I like Reese Witherspoon very much, but I think that Mark Ruffalo is a brilliant actor who just needs a killer part to become a huge star. Did you know that he was lined up to play Mel Gibson's brother in "Signs", but had to pull out when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor? You did know that? I'll shut up then.) Went to see my Mom. My Mom's house was very loud. Everybody was there. Left after half an hour and went home.
It is New Years Eve. I am supposed to write something meaningful and philosophical, but I cannot be bothered with that. Instead... Here is a list of my favourite 10 films of the year, in no particular order.
- Primer
- Where The Truth Lies
- Batman Begins
- March Of The Penguins
- The Constant Gardener
- The Descent
- Million Dollar Baby
- Crash
- Sin City
- Sideways
I am not sure what, if anything, that list says about me.
New Years resolutions. Nothing too surprising. Lose some weight (I am currently 12 stone 3 pounds, I think getting down to 11 stone 3 pounds would be nice), get a new job, listen to more new music (I think I bought or was given about 6 cd's this year and 2 of them have never been played), read more books, catch up on what everybody else is up to on their blogs (reading and commenting has slipped a bit recently) and, finally, to shag Abi Titmuss, Kate Winslet and Rachel Weisz. Pushing it a bit, perhaps?
I need to thank some people. Mark, Graham , LB and Swiss Toni. Isolation is great, but there is nothing better than staring somebody in the eye for getting the real feel of a person.
Daisy Mae , Ginny and Suburban Hen for (blunt in some cases) private advice given on the troubles between myself and Lorraine, that plagued us earlier this year. Much appreciated, ladies. Really.
I won't wish you a peaceful New Year, because some of you might want the bright lights, the noise and the fury, but I will wish you good times, all of the time, in 2006.
Yours. Pynchon. Signing off.
Rock 'n' Roll, baby!
Friday, December 30, 2005
I love the way that Lorraine cries at soppy films.
This evening we watched a film on Sky Movies called "The Notebook". It starred Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, Gena Rowlands and the legend James Garner. It was an extremely sentimental, romantic and soppy love story. Definitely a 3 hankie job for Lorraine (the last 2 hankies from the box of tissues by the side of her chair and 1 hanky that she borrowed off me) and I must admit that my own macho sneer was slipping during the last half an hour and I suddenly found that I had something in my eye.
Wonderful stuff. Lorraine and I had a hug when it had finished.
Yesterday we went to see "King Kong" at the Electric Cinema. Lorraine loved it. I thought that it was OK, but I expected that as it was not a film that I was considering going to see at all. I was just interested in being involved in a bit of silliness at the Electric Cinema on our day off from work. (The screen decorated as a jungle set was a hoot and the Kong themed cocktails were nice. We had a couple and were pleasantly pissed by 2pm. The film started at 1:15pm.) I was never greatly impressed by the original "King Kong", although I recognise it's iconic status and importance in movie history. Peter Jackson has done better films ("Braindead" and "Heavenly Creatures", but not the "Lord Of The Rings" trilogy, which bored me to tears). Naomi Watts played it completely seriously, which I suppose was the only way to play it. Jack Black played... er... Jack Black. Jack Black always plays Jack Black.
Back to work today. The Titanic is still sinking and that is all that needs to be said about that crap hole.
I have no idea what we are going to do tomorrow. I know that we have no plans to go out during the evening. I suppose that I need to start thinking about what I want to write, after all, it will be New Years Eve. Something to sum up the year. Something philosophical, perhaps? Something serious. I may not want to write anything.
On New Years Eve 2004 Lorraine and I got into a blazing, plate throwing argument and a lot of that emotion spilled over onto the page. (Come to think of it, Lorraine and I have had blazing, plate throwing arguments every New Years Eve that we have spent in this house. 4 years and counting.) It might happen again. Watch this space.
This evening we watched a film on Sky Movies called "The Notebook". It starred Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, Gena Rowlands and the legend James Garner. It was an extremely sentimental, romantic and soppy love story. Definitely a 3 hankie job for Lorraine (the last 2 hankies from the box of tissues by the side of her chair and 1 hanky that she borrowed off me) and I must admit that my own macho sneer was slipping during the last half an hour and I suddenly found that I had something in my eye.
Wonderful stuff. Lorraine and I had a hug when it had finished.
Yesterday we went to see "King Kong" at the Electric Cinema. Lorraine loved it. I thought that it was OK, but I expected that as it was not a film that I was considering going to see at all. I was just interested in being involved in a bit of silliness at the Electric Cinema on our day off from work. (The screen decorated as a jungle set was a hoot and the Kong themed cocktails were nice. We had a couple and were pleasantly pissed by 2pm. The film started at 1:15pm.) I was never greatly impressed by the original "King Kong", although I recognise it's iconic status and importance in movie history. Peter Jackson has done better films ("Braindead" and "Heavenly Creatures", but not the "Lord Of The Rings" trilogy, which bored me to tears). Naomi Watts played it completely seriously, which I suppose was the only way to play it. Jack Black played... er... Jack Black. Jack Black always plays Jack Black.
Back to work today. The Titanic is still sinking and that is all that needs to be said about that crap hole.
I have no idea what we are going to do tomorrow. I know that we have no plans to go out during the evening. I suppose that I need to start thinking about what I want to write, after all, it will be New Years Eve. Something to sum up the year. Something philosophical, perhaps? Something serious. I may not want to write anything.
On New Years Eve 2004 Lorraine and I got into a blazing, plate throwing argument and a lot of that emotion spilled over onto the page. (Come to think of it, Lorraine and I have had blazing, plate throwing arguments every New Years Eve that we have spent in this house. 4 years and counting.) It might happen again. Watch this space.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Lorraine is in the other room nagging me to start looking on the net at the possibilities for new computers, for ourselves and also for Top Sister. (Lorraine is very good at nagging me from other rooms. She talks and whispers and moans just below my hearing level until eventually I have to stop what I am doing and shout "What the hell are you saying? I cannot hear you, Woman!" and then go into the room in which she is skulking to have a proper conversation. Not this time, though. I am blogging.) We really need a new computer. On average it takes two goes to boot our machine up.
I didn't blog last night. No inclination. Work wore me out. All incredibly boring and depressing. My manager kept wandering about, being as much use as a fart in a spacesuit. After I had bared my teeth at him a couple of times, he decided to leave me alone. Nobody had much enthusiasm, even though there was a lot of work to be done. Lorraine was a whirling dervish of activity, but she is insane and it doesn't count.
Last night we watched a double bill of "Alias" on DVD and then the penultimate two episodes of "Lost" on Channel 4. (Was that a fit looking Michelle Rodriguez? Did Walt really know what was going to happen to the plane? Defence mechanism?) That was our night. Exciting, eh?
This afternoon we are off the see "King Kong" at the Electric Cinema. It's not a film I was much bothered about seeing, to be honest, but the Electric Cinema are making a effort with special cocktails and a jungle themed set, and we have nothing else to do, so why not?
Lorraine has gone downstairs in a sulk. I shall join her and give her my very best Jack Nicholson smile.
I didn't blog last night. No inclination. Work wore me out. All incredibly boring and depressing. My manager kept wandering about, being as much use as a fart in a spacesuit. After I had bared my teeth at him a couple of times, he decided to leave me alone. Nobody had much enthusiasm, even though there was a lot of work to be done. Lorraine was a whirling dervish of activity, but she is insane and it doesn't count.
Last night we watched a double bill of "Alias" on DVD and then the penultimate two episodes of "Lost" on Channel 4. (Was that a fit looking Michelle Rodriguez? Did Walt really know what was going to happen to the plane? Defence mechanism?) That was our night. Exciting, eh?
This afternoon we are off the see "King Kong" at the Electric Cinema. It's not a film I was much bothered about seeing, to be honest, but the Electric Cinema are making a effort with special cocktails and a jungle themed set, and we have nothing else to do, so why not?
Lorraine has gone downstairs in a sulk. I shall join her and give her my very best Jack Nicholson smile.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
I am feeling quite ill, to be honest. Way too much food. Way too much drink. Way too little sleep. Way too much TV. Way too much of a good time (if that is possible.) And I have work tomorrow. Perhaps it is the thought of that that is making me ill?
I have a headache starting. Probably not a good idea to be in front of the computer, especially with Lorraine fuming downstairs at my decision to abandon her for the pleasures of the blog, when there is washing up still to be done. I'll make this as short and as concise as I can.
After Christmas dinner (duck with loads and loads of vegetables) we watched "Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion" . I think that it was Swiss Toni who said that he found it hammy. Yes, I suppose it was, but I liked it nethertheless. I remember being disappointed at the early Christopher Eccelestone "Doctor Who" stories, but the series went from strength to strength after a ropey start and became unmissable. I have a feeling that the David Tennant series is going to follow much the same path. Lorraine said that Tennant's Doctor seemed very black and white and ruthless. Now that is interesting. According to Time Lord lore, the more regenerations a Time Lord has, the more unstable their personality becomes. As all "Doctor Who" fans know, it is only a matter of time before the Doctor becomes the evil Valeyard...
It could be an interesting series...
At 8pm we watched Tom Cruise in "Collateral". I thought that it was excellent and a really good film, but I could not shake the idea that 20 years ago Cruise's character Vincent would have been played by somebody like James Woods and that perhaps somebody like that should have played the character this time. I remember reading an interesting little fact about "Collateral". Apparently at one time the comic actor Adam Sandler was approached to play the cab driver. Now that would have been interesting casting. I don't know if it would have worked or not. Has Adam Sandler ever played a straight character? "Punch Drunk Love" perhaps? Borderline straight character?
I don't know what we did after 10pm. I do know that the posing pouch and vibrating cock ring were not utilised and have in fact not been utilised at the time of this writing.
Boxing Day.
Full English breakfast and out to watch "Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire". I thought that it was as boring as hell and not a patch on the first three movies, especially "Harry Potter And The Prisoner of Azkaban". I have not read the Harry Potter books, but Lorraine has, and I asked her what she thought about the film. She said that the film was a lot quicker than the book. Good Lord! It's a really boring book then? I read that Mike Newell, due to the size of the book, had the chance to make two films - "Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire Part 1" to be released now and "Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire Part 2" to be released in the Summer of 2006, but decided against it. Any thoughts on that? Lorraine thinks that it would have worked very well.
I do not go to very many football matches, but the one I always go to with my Brother is the annual Aston Villa relegation fight on Boxing Day. So it was that I found myself at a freezing cold Villa Park, high up in Holte End, singing obscene anti Everton/Birmingham City songs whilst watching the mighty Villa demolish Everton 4-0. Well, I say demolish, but I have to be honest and say that we had a good first 10 minutes and an end to end battle after that. I certainly do not know where the 4 goals came from. Hey, it doesn't matter! A win is a win!
I have no idea what we watched yesterday evening, but I remember phasing in and out of "The Office" Christmas specials from 2 years ago. A classic.
Today we arose late, washed, dressed, battled our way through the hordes in Birmingham City Centre, swapped some unwanted presents (the duplicate John Peel autobiography and the huge black jumper) for stuff that I wanted ("Batman Begins", "Destination: Morgue" by James Ellroy and a smaller blue jumper), bought some essentials (milk, red onion, philadelphia spread) and came home.
We have watched "Madagascar". I liked it.
Back to work tomorrow. Oh, fucking hell, that is a depressing thought. Somebody kill me.
I wonder if Lorraine will give me a tit wank later? After all, it is Christmas and all that.
I have a headache starting. Probably not a good idea to be in front of the computer, especially with Lorraine fuming downstairs at my decision to abandon her for the pleasures of the blog, when there is washing up still to be done. I'll make this as short and as concise as I can.
After Christmas dinner (duck with loads and loads of vegetables) we watched "Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion" . I think that it was Swiss Toni who said that he found it hammy. Yes, I suppose it was, but I liked it nethertheless. I remember being disappointed at the early Christopher Eccelestone "Doctor Who" stories, but the series went from strength to strength after a ropey start and became unmissable. I have a feeling that the David Tennant series is going to follow much the same path. Lorraine said that Tennant's Doctor seemed very black and white and ruthless. Now that is interesting. According to Time Lord lore, the more regenerations a Time Lord has, the more unstable their personality becomes. As all "Doctor Who" fans know, it is only a matter of time before the Doctor becomes the evil Valeyard...
It could be an interesting series...
At 8pm we watched Tom Cruise in "Collateral". I thought that it was excellent and a really good film, but I could not shake the idea that 20 years ago Cruise's character Vincent would have been played by somebody like James Woods and that perhaps somebody like that should have played the character this time. I remember reading an interesting little fact about "Collateral". Apparently at one time the comic actor Adam Sandler was approached to play the cab driver. Now that would have been interesting casting. I don't know if it would have worked or not. Has Adam Sandler ever played a straight character? "Punch Drunk Love" perhaps? Borderline straight character?
I don't know what we did after 10pm. I do know that the posing pouch and vibrating cock ring were not utilised and have in fact not been utilised at the time of this writing.
Boxing Day.
Full English breakfast and out to watch "Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire". I thought that it was as boring as hell and not a patch on the first three movies, especially "Harry Potter And The Prisoner of Azkaban". I have not read the Harry Potter books, but Lorraine has, and I asked her what she thought about the film. She said that the film was a lot quicker than the book. Good Lord! It's a really boring book then? I read that Mike Newell, due to the size of the book, had the chance to make two films - "Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire Part 1" to be released now and "Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire Part 2" to be released in the Summer of 2006, but decided against it. Any thoughts on that? Lorraine thinks that it would have worked very well.
I do not go to very many football matches, but the one I always go to with my Brother is the annual Aston Villa relegation fight on Boxing Day. So it was that I found myself at a freezing cold Villa Park, high up in Holte End, singing obscene anti Everton/Birmingham City songs whilst watching the mighty Villa demolish Everton 4-0. Well, I say demolish, but I have to be honest and say that we had a good first 10 minutes and an end to end battle after that. I certainly do not know where the 4 goals came from. Hey, it doesn't matter! A win is a win!
I have no idea what we watched yesterday evening, but I remember phasing in and out of "The Office" Christmas specials from 2 years ago. A classic.
Today we arose late, washed, dressed, battled our way through the hordes in Birmingham City Centre, swapped some unwanted presents (the duplicate John Peel autobiography and the huge black jumper) for stuff that I wanted ("Batman Begins", "Destination: Morgue" by James Ellroy and a smaller blue jumper), bought some essentials (milk, red onion, philadelphia spread) and came home.
We have watched "Madagascar". I liked it.
Back to work tomorrow. Oh, fucking hell, that is a depressing thought. Somebody kill me.
I wonder if Lorraine will give me a tit wank later? After all, it is Christmas and all that.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
"So here it is, Merry Christmas!"
"Everybody's having fun."
"Look to the future now,"
"It's only just beguuuuun!"
God bless you, Slade. I love that song.
I hope that the second line of that lyric applies to everybody in that you have had, are having or are about to have (depending on your timezone, of course) the craic. I am having the craic. Except for a cup of tea first thing (Lorraine having got me up at the obscene hour of 8am because "Santa has visited") I have drunk nothing soft all day. Bucks Fizz, wine, coffee with some kind of Irish creamy liqueur added to it. It has all gone down the same way. When Lorraine has finished in the bath (and she's in there now, soaping up her bosoms. Excuse me a second while I go and have a look. [Pynchon leaves and returns with a massive erection.] Hah... That was nice.) she is going to get me some water. Water? I don't drink water. Fish fuck in water. (And thank you W. C. Fields for that comment.) Lorraine says that I need water.
I am losing control of my thoughts. Where was I going with this? Oh, yes. Presents. These are the presents that I got this year.
"Madagascar" on DVD. (I think Lorraine actually wanted this for herself. We will be watching this after "Doctor Who" this evening.)
A calendar with lots of pictures of Sharks. (??? I don't know.)
A calendar with lots of pictures of Kittens. (??? My Brother. Fuck knows.)
Burtons, W H Smiths and Debenhams vouchers.
"I, Claudius" on DVD. (Brilliant, fantastic, Derek Jacobi's finest hour, etc.)
John Peel's autobiography. (Twice.)
"TV Heaven" by Jim Sangster and Paul Connell. (A really good TV dictionary, but they apparently have never heard of "Alias" and are of the impression that John Hurt and not William Hurt starred in the movie version of "Lost In Space").
A black jumper. (Too big. Is Lorraine's Dad trying to tell me something?)
A movie game called Reminicising. (Sic.)
Adidas shower gel and body spray set. (So uncool that it goes beyond cool.)
A "Doctor Who" annual. (Meant for 12 years olds, so the perfect present for me.)
The Beach Boys Christmas Album. (A classic of it's kind.)
"Extras" on DVD.
"The Prisoner" on DVD.
"Drop The Dead Donkey" on DVD.
A Creative Zen MP3 player. (Holds potentially 10,000 tracks!)
A Ben Sherman Pen and Key Ring set. (Very cool.)
and finally...
A posing pouch made out of sweets and a vibrating cock ring. Indeed. I will endeavor to make use of them later.
Gotta go. It's time to make the rounds of my friends on the Blogoverse. Then I have got to put the vegetables on.
Again, Merry Christmas to everybody who has ever bothered to read these incoherent blatherings. I have said it before, but I will say it again.
You are all very cool.
"Everybody's having fun."
"Look to the future now,"
"It's only just beguuuuun!"
God bless you, Slade. I love that song.
I hope that the second line of that lyric applies to everybody in that you have had, are having or are about to have (depending on your timezone, of course) the craic. I am having the craic. Except for a cup of tea first thing (Lorraine having got me up at the obscene hour of 8am because "Santa has visited") I have drunk nothing soft all day. Bucks Fizz, wine, coffee with some kind of Irish creamy liqueur added to it. It has all gone down the same way. When Lorraine has finished in the bath (and she's in there now, soaping up her bosoms. Excuse me a second while I go and have a look. [Pynchon leaves and returns with a massive erection.] Hah... That was nice.) she is going to get me some water. Water? I don't drink water. Fish fuck in water. (And thank you W. C. Fields for that comment.) Lorraine says that I need water.
I am losing control of my thoughts. Where was I going with this? Oh, yes. Presents. These are the presents that I got this year.
"Madagascar" on DVD. (I think Lorraine actually wanted this for herself. We will be watching this after "Doctor Who" this evening.)
A calendar with lots of pictures of Sharks. (??? I don't know.)
A calendar with lots of pictures of Kittens. (??? My Brother. Fuck knows.)
Burtons, W H Smiths and Debenhams vouchers.
"I, Claudius" on DVD. (Brilliant, fantastic, Derek Jacobi's finest hour, etc.)
John Peel's autobiography. (Twice.)
"TV Heaven" by Jim Sangster and Paul Connell. (A really good TV dictionary, but they apparently have never heard of "Alias" and are of the impression that John Hurt and not William Hurt starred in the movie version of "Lost In Space").
A black jumper. (Too big. Is Lorraine's Dad trying to tell me something?)
A movie game called Reminicising. (Sic.)
Adidas shower gel and body spray set. (So uncool that it goes beyond cool.)
A "Doctor Who" annual. (Meant for 12 years olds, so the perfect present for me.)
The Beach Boys Christmas Album. (A classic of it's kind.)
"Extras" on DVD.
"The Prisoner" on DVD.
"Drop The Dead Donkey" on DVD.
A Creative Zen MP3 player. (Holds potentially 10,000 tracks!)
A Ben Sherman Pen and Key Ring set. (Very cool.)
and finally...
A posing pouch made out of sweets and a vibrating cock ring. Indeed. I will endeavor to make use of them later.
Gotta go. It's time to make the rounds of my friends on the Blogoverse. Then I have got to put the vegetables on.
Again, Merry Christmas to everybody who has ever bothered to read these incoherent blatherings. I have said it before, but I will say it again.
You are all very cool.
Christmas Eve has just turned into Christmas Day. Happy Christmas, everyone.
Christmas Eve, after the whirling dervish of activity in December of gigs, Christmas and food shopping, meals, panto, play (more about that in a minute) and movies finally ended, I felt curiously deflated. I was down and in a funk. I wasn't happy and I couldn't tell you why. God knows, Lorraine tried her best to get me out of it.
"Do you want to play a game?"
"No."
"Do you want to watch a DVD?"
"No."
"Why don't you make a cocktail?"
"Fucking No!"
and so on and so forth. Eventually she got fed up of this and went to bed. I sulked in front of the TV for several hours (and watched Sarah Michelle Geller in "The Grudge" on one of the Sky Movies channels, which I thought was very good) and then came up here. I feel better now. I bet Lorraine will be delighted to hear that when I get the chance to tell her, after I managed to ruin her Christmas Eve.
So, Christmas Eve morning (very early morning) we did the last of the food shopping. Then we stopped for breakfast at House Of Fraser's restaurant (I had a smoked salmon and scrambled egg croissant, Lorraine had French toast and berrys), Lorraine bought some Christmas china and we went home. I fell asleep for a couple of hours while Lorraine did weird things with tablecloths and coasters and china on the dining room table, and then we headed back into town to see "The Santaland Diaries and Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" at the Birmingham Rep.
"The Santaland Diaries and Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" was written by David Sedaris and adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello. It consisted of two festive monologues. "The Santaland Diaries" was about David Sedaris' experiences while working as an elf in Macy's department store in New York City. It was very funny, but came from an obviously funny situation. "Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" was a rant by an apparently nice, middle class lady on the problems faced by her nice, middle class family. It was the bleakest and blackest of comedies; very twisted and with a horrible denouement. Was the lady psychotic? She might be. Go and see the play, or read it for yourself if you get the chance, and make up your own mind. In general the critics in Birmingham have not liked this monologue as much as "The Santaland Diaries". One critic said that it was just not funny. I would disagree. Plaudits to actors Craig Cazey and Suzan Sylvester, by the way. They were both brilliant.
I might have a wank, now. I don't know.
I will be back later. Sometime between the Christmas Top Of The Pops that ends at 3pm and "Doctor Who" that starts at 7pm.
Happy Christmas, everyone. (I've already said that.)
Christmas Eve, after the whirling dervish of activity in December of gigs, Christmas and food shopping, meals, panto, play (more about that in a minute) and movies finally ended, I felt curiously deflated. I was down and in a funk. I wasn't happy and I couldn't tell you why. God knows, Lorraine tried her best to get me out of it.
"Do you want to play a game?"
"No."
"Do you want to watch a DVD?"
"No."
"Why don't you make a cocktail?"
"Fucking No!"
and so on and so forth. Eventually she got fed up of this and went to bed. I sulked in front of the TV for several hours (and watched Sarah Michelle Geller in "The Grudge" on one of the Sky Movies channels, which I thought was very good) and then came up here. I feel better now. I bet Lorraine will be delighted to hear that when I get the chance to tell her, after I managed to ruin her Christmas Eve.
So, Christmas Eve morning (very early morning) we did the last of the food shopping. Then we stopped for breakfast at House Of Fraser's restaurant (I had a smoked salmon and scrambled egg croissant, Lorraine had French toast and berrys), Lorraine bought some Christmas china and we went home. I fell asleep for a couple of hours while Lorraine did weird things with tablecloths and coasters and china on the dining room table, and then we headed back into town to see "The Santaland Diaries and Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" at the Birmingham Rep.
"The Santaland Diaries and Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" was written by David Sedaris and adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello. It consisted of two festive monologues. "The Santaland Diaries" was about David Sedaris' experiences while working as an elf in Macy's department store in New York City. It was very funny, but came from an obviously funny situation. "Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" was a rant by an apparently nice, middle class lady on the problems faced by her nice, middle class family. It was the bleakest and blackest of comedies; very twisted and with a horrible denouement. Was the lady psychotic? She might be. Go and see the play, or read it for yourself if you get the chance, and make up your own mind. In general the critics in Birmingham have not liked this monologue as much as "The Santaland Diaries". One critic said that it was just not funny. I would disagree. Plaudits to actors Craig Cazey and Suzan Sylvester, by the way. They were both brilliant.
I might have a wank, now. I don't know.
I will be back later. Sometime between the Christmas Top Of The Pops that ends at 3pm and "Doctor Who" that starts at 7pm.
Happy Christmas, everyone. (I've already said that.)
Friday, December 23, 2005
If you consider surviving Christmas to be akin to running a marathon, then I am on the 22nd mile and digging in for the final push to the finishing line. It is Christmas Eve in 18 minutes. I should be in bed. We have another early start tomorrow, but what I have realised is that if I do not get onto the computer now to type up a few things, those things will be lost forever and I don't want that.
So, a quick summary, if I may?
Yesterday at work Lorraine and I tried desperately to leave our work in a reasonable state until we are back in the office next Wednesday. Of course we both failed dismally. It is no good knocking yourself out when new problems are coming in constantly and all requests for help are not forthcoming from the development arseholes. We also found out yesterday that next week hardly any programmers will be in the office. Well done, that man, on that brilliant piece of strategic planning. During a reasonably quiet period take away the resource we could do with to tackle some of the more difficult problems while not bothering the customers.
Ah... Fuck 'em.
Yesterday evening I spent gazing into the turquoise eyes of a beautiful woman over a dinner table at Buffet Island on the Tyburn Road in Erdington. Sadly Lorraine, Harriet Quant and the lady's husband Bobby were also in attendance. Ah... Lana Blue... Hey! A man can fantasise, can't he?
Buffet Island was excellent. Great food (I would especially recommend the Turkey Yuk Sung, which I suspect is not a traditional Chinese dish, and the Barbecued Spare Ribs - Oh, Yes! Yum, Yum), great company, good service (our waiter was a frightening looking Chinese man, but a stand up comic in his spare time) and great atmosphere. Bobby Blue used to be Lorraine's Boss. He said an interesting thing when he admitted that if he and Lana had not left the Company when they did, they would probably not have stayed together. They were both working in excess of 70 hour weeks and the Company had taken over their lives. Sometimes it is exactly how I feel with regard to Lorraine and myself, but I battle against that.
This morning we had an early start. Up before 6am and out of the house by 7:10am: Lorraine went to town to see her Chiropodist and I went to the Vet's to pick up Moon The Cat's diabetic cat food. Lorraine had ordered three boxes of cat food and a box of diabetic cat biscuits. The whole thing was incredibly fucking heavy and difficult to negotiate by public transport. Did she think he was going to starve? I imagine so.
I then went to pick up my Niece and Nephew and we met up with Lorraine for lunch (Caffe Uno, which was suprisingly quiet) and then we went to the Birmingham Hippodrome to see the panto "Peter Pan". ("Oh, No you didn't. Oh Yes I did!" Sorry about that. I slipped into panto mode there for the moment.) Very enjoyable and better than last years "Jack And The Beanstalk". Lots of audience participation. Very energetic and very funny. My Niece and Nephew seemed to enjoy it tremendously.
After dropping the kids off at Top Sister's house we came home. I watched a bit of "Friday Night With Jonathan Ross", sorted out the last minute shopping list, decided what fruit juices I needed to buy to have a go at making some more cocktails that we have never had before and then excused myself and turned on the computer.
And I am knackered.
It has gone midnignt. Happy Christmas Eve. I will be getting up before 6am again today. No time to answer any comments or comment anywhere else. I'll catch up with you all later.
So, a quick summary, if I may?
Yesterday at work Lorraine and I tried desperately to leave our work in a reasonable state until we are back in the office next Wednesday. Of course we both failed dismally. It is no good knocking yourself out when new problems are coming in constantly and all requests for help are not forthcoming from the development arseholes. We also found out yesterday that next week hardly any programmers will be in the office. Well done, that man, on that brilliant piece of strategic planning. During a reasonably quiet period take away the resource we could do with to tackle some of the more difficult problems while not bothering the customers.
Ah... Fuck 'em.
Yesterday evening I spent gazing into the turquoise eyes of a beautiful woman over a dinner table at Buffet Island on the Tyburn Road in Erdington. Sadly Lorraine, Harriet Quant and the lady's husband Bobby were also in attendance. Ah... Lana Blue... Hey! A man can fantasise, can't he?
Buffet Island was excellent. Great food (I would especially recommend the Turkey Yuk Sung, which I suspect is not a traditional Chinese dish, and the Barbecued Spare Ribs - Oh, Yes! Yum, Yum), great company, good service (our waiter was a frightening looking Chinese man, but a stand up comic in his spare time) and great atmosphere. Bobby Blue used to be Lorraine's Boss. He said an interesting thing when he admitted that if he and Lana had not left the Company when they did, they would probably not have stayed together. They were both working in excess of 70 hour weeks and the Company had taken over their lives. Sometimes it is exactly how I feel with regard to Lorraine and myself, but I battle against that.
This morning we had an early start. Up before 6am and out of the house by 7:10am: Lorraine went to town to see her Chiropodist and I went to the Vet's to pick up Moon The Cat's diabetic cat food. Lorraine had ordered three boxes of cat food and a box of diabetic cat biscuits. The whole thing was incredibly fucking heavy and difficult to negotiate by public transport. Did she think he was going to starve? I imagine so.
I then went to pick up my Niece and Nephew and we met up with Lorraine for lunch (Caffe Uno, which was suprisingly quiet) and then we went to the Birmingham Hippodrome to see the panto "Peter Pan". ("Oh, No you didn't. Oh Yes I did!" Sorry about that. I slipped into panto mode there for the moment.) Very enjoyable and better than last years "Jack And The Beanstalk". Lots of audience participation. Very energetic and very funny. My Niece and Nephew seemed to enjoy it tremendously.
After dropping the kids off at Top Sister's house we came home. I watched a bit of "Friday Night With Jonathan Ross", sorted out the last minute shopping list, decided what fruit juices I needed to buy to have a go at making some more cocktails that we have never had before and then excused myself and turned on the computer.
And I am knackered.
It has gone midnignt. Happy Christmas Eve. I will be getting up before 6am again today. No time to answer any comments or comment anywhere else. I'll catch up with you all later.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
I have 14 minutes to write everything that I need to write. The Ocado delivery is due at 21:00 and I promised Lorraine that I would be in the living room at 20:30 in case it turns up early. Then, at 22:00, there is the "Lost" double bill and I cannot miss that.
So...
It was reported in the news today that some Arsehole has stolen a baby Penguin. You can read the full story here. The police have a theory that the thief was inspired in their act of arseholeness by watching the film "March Of The Penguins", which I went to see on Sunday. I completely forgot to write anything about that film.
I hardly ever watch wildlife documentaries, but I liked "March Of The Penguins" very much. It is a study of the Penguin conception and birth cycle and the battle for survival in the Arctic. It is a very emotive movie. I wiped my eyes several times, especially during the scene in which a Mother Penguin loses it's chick to the elements, goes a little bit mad with grief and tries to steal another Mother Penguin's chick. Powerful stuff. Real men are allowed to cry and not just when they are drunk.
4 minutes.
We are out again tomorrow having a meal with the lovely Lana Blue (of turquoise eyes fame), hubbie Bobby and mad Harriet Quant, the receptionist at work and possibly the dizziest woman in the West Midlands. I will try to update tomorrow night when we return.
Times up. The time is always up. No time to stop and stare.
So...
It was reported in the news today that some Arsehole has stolen a baby Penguin. You can read the full story here. The police have a theory that the thief was inspired in their act of arseholeness by watching the film "March Of The Penguins", which I went to see on Sunday. I completely forgot to write anything about that film.
I hardly ever watch wildlife documentaries, but I liked "March Of The Penguins" very much. It is a study of the Penguin conception and birth cycle and the battle for survival in the Arctic. It is a very emotive movie. I wiped my eyes several times, especially during the scene in which a Mother Penguin loses it's chick to the elements, goes a little bit mad with grief and tries to steal another Mother Penguin's chick. Powerful stuff. Real men are allowed to cry and not just when they are drunk.
4 minutes.
We are out again tomorrow having a meal with the lovely Lana Blue (of turquoise eyes fame), hubbie Bobby and mad Harriet Quant, the receptionist at work and possibly the dizziest woman in the West Midlands. I will try to update tomorrow night when we return.
Times up. The time is always up. No time to stop and stare.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I have been out and about and a commenting on the Blogoverse (I don't even know if that is a real word). It seems that over the past couple of weeks the whole reading and commenting part of the Blogcycle has been sadly lacking by yours truly, so this evening I decided to do something about it. I have not got around everybody that I regularly read. It is not personal. There just doesn't seem to be the time (and that is a really fucking weak excuse, because if I care that much I should make the time.)
Last night we went to see Elaine Paige at the Birmingham Symphony Hall. With a couple of provisos (her voice took a good 4 songs to warm up, which meant that the wonderful Tim Rice/Andrew Lloyd Webber song "Another Suitcase In Another Hall" from "Evita" was effectively thrown away) she was very good. Lots of songs from shows that she has been associated with ("Cats", "Evita", "Sunset Boulevard", etc.), costume changes (the gold lame suit was kind of fantastic), some acting (she did a scene and duet "The Perfect Year" from "Sunset Boulevard" with John Barrowman, but more about him in a minute) and some Christmas singalong with John Barrowman and Danny Seward. I never realised that Elaine Paige is so tiny. I reckon I could have popped her in my back pocket and taken her home. Also, interesting to note that the average age of the audience was about 92. It would have been older but for the random selection of young to middle aged Gay men in the audience. Is it a cliche that Gay men love showtunes? The couple sitting next to me certainly did.
The show featured two guest singers, John Barrowman and Danny Seward. Danny Seward I had never heard of, but apparently is an actor in the TV series "Where The Heart Is" (I have never seen it and so cannot possibly comment.) I thought that he was OK, but Lorraine thought that he was wonderful. John Barrowman is Captain Jack in "Doctor Who" . He was, quite frankly, fantastic. He sang 5 songs in total. "The Perfect Year" in a duet with Elaine Paige and then solo, "Sunset Boulevard", something by Stephen Sondheim ("To Live"?) and a beyond camp "I Am What I Am". He later returned for the Christmas singalong. Jack Barrowman got a standing ovation and quite rightly so. I would go to see him onstage again.
It was a good night.
Last night we went to see Elaine Paige at the Birmingham Symphony Hall. With a couple of provisos (her voice took a good 4 songs to warm up, which meant that the wonderful Tim Rice/Andrew Lloyd Webber song "Another Suitcase In Another Hall" from "Evita" was effectively thrown away) she was very good. Lots of songs from shows that she has been associated with ("Cats", "Evita", "Sunset Boulevard", etc.), costume changes (the gold lame suit was kind of fantastic), some acting (she did a scene and duet "The Perfect Year" from "Sunset Boulevard" with John Barrowman, but more about him in a minute) and some Christmas singalong with John Barrowman and Danny Seward. I never realised that Elaine Paige is so tiny. I reckon I could have popped her in my back pocket and taken her home. Also, interesting to note that the average age of the audience was about 92. It would have been older but for the random selection of young to middle aged Gay men in the audience. Is it a cliche that Gay men love showtunes? The couple sitting next to me certainly did.
The show featured two guest singers, John Barrowman and Danny Seward. Danny Seward I had never heard of, but apparently is an actor in the TV series "Where The Heart Is" (I have never seen it and so cannot possibly comment.) I thought that he was OK, but Lorraine thought that he was wonderful. John Barrowman is Captain Jack in "Doctor Who" . He was, quite frankly, fantastic. He sang 5 songs in total. "The Perfect Year" in a duet with Elaine Paige and then solo, "Sunset Boulevard", something by Stephen Sondheim ("To Live"?) and a beyond camp "I Am What I Am". He later returned for the Christmas singalong. Jack Barrowman got a standing ovation and quite rightly so. I would go to see him onstage again.
It was a good night.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Ah, Christmas... That most joyous of celebrations. Chaos in the streets, food on the pavements and nothing in the cinemas, unless you fancy "Harry Potter", "Narnia" or "King Kong" (none of which I have seen, so I would not comment on any of them, of course).
Having finished the morning at work (I did a favour for somebody who wanted to get rat arsed at the Christmas shindig) I went to the Cineworld at Board Street and saw a British-French-German co production "Merry Christmas" or "Joyeux Noel" to give it it's correct title. The film is based around the famous Christmas 1914 ceasefire between Germany, England and France during World War One when the soldiers left their trenches, exchanged gifts, sang carols and celebrated mass together. I have no idea if events as described actually happened (did a Bishop - a man of the cloth - actually make such an obscene and appalling speech as described at the end of the film?), or if these characters actually existed as portrayed, but it hardly matters. I thought that it was a wonderful and very moving film. If you do not have a lump in your throat by the end, check your pulse. You are probably dead.
Sadly, Cinema Fuckwad make an unwelcome return in the guise of a gaggle of teenage girls. Talking, laughing, irritating, mobile phone using scum. When the credits started they were still at it, so I very loudly asked them to "Please be quiet, for Christ's sake!". I think that I was suprisingly polite. Anyway, the film was not what they expected. 5 minutes in, confused by the fact that some of the actors were not speaking English and obviously unable to keep up with the subtitles at the bottom of the screen, they left. I do hope that they were not Cineworld card users, or had not just wandered into the film without paying after having just finished in "King Kong" or one of the other blockbusters, because I would like to think that all 8 of them wasted their money. True, there was nothing to stop them sneaking into one of the other films...
Disgracefully Shayne won the "X-Factor" last night. Disgracefully because I put a bet on Andy to win. Actually, I admit Shayne wasn't bad on the night, but Andy was better. It will be interesting to see if either of them have a career of any length.
I tried to watch Tom Cruise in "Collateral" last night. Somehow I phased out just after he had appeared onscreen and woke up at 2am, freezing cold. I don't think of it as a comment on the film or on Mr. Cruise. I was just incredibly tired.
The rest of this afternoon? Haircut, ogle Ashlyn's (the hairdresser's) tits, home, eat a couple of chicken curry patties, drop some presents around to my Mom's, go to see "March Of The Penguins", pick up Lorraine.
There will be no post tomorrow. We are going out during the evening to see Elaine Paige at the Symphony Hall. I am really looking forward to it. I heard this afternoon that Jack Barrowman, Captain Jack from "Doctor Who", is going to be a guest singer. They are broadcasting the concert on Radio 2 on Friday night.
Rock on! I glory in my uncoolness!
Having finished the morning at work (I did a favour for somebody who wanted to get rat arsed at the Christmas shindig) I went to the Cineworld at Board Street and saw a British-French-German co production "Merry Christmas" or "Joyeux Noel" to give it it's correct title. The film is based around the famous Christmas 1914 ceasefire between Germany, England and France during World War One when the soldiers left their trenches, exchanged gifts, sang carols and celebrated mass together. I have no idea if events as described actually happened (did a Bishop - a man of the cloth - actually make such an obscene and appalling speech as described at the end of the film?), or if these characters actually existed as portrayed, but it hardly matters. I thought that it was a wonderful and very moving film. If you do not have a lump in your throat by the end, check your pulse. You are probably dead.
Sadly, Cinema Fuckwad make an unwelcome return in the guise of a gaggle of teenage girls. Talking, laughing, irritating, mobile phone using scum. When the credits started they were still at it, so I very loudly asked them to "Please be quiet, for Christ's sake!". I think that I was suprisingly polite. Anyway, the film was not what they expected. 5 minutes in, confused by the fact that some of the actors were not speaking English and obviously unable to keep up with the subtitles at the bottom of the screen, they left. I do hope that they were not Cineworld card users, or had not just wandered into the film without paying after having just finished in "King Kong" or one of the other blockbusters, because I would like to think that all 8 of them wasted their money. True, there was nothing to stop them sneaking into one of the other films...
Disgracefully Shayne won the "X-Factor" last night. Disgracefully because I put a bet on Andy to win. Actually, I admit Shayne wasn't bad on the night, but Andy was better. It will be interesting to see if either of them have a career of any length.
I tried to watch Tom Cruise in "Collateral" last night. Somehow I phased out just after he had appeared onscreen and woke up at 2am, freezing cold. I don't think of it as a comment on the film or on Mr. Cruise. I was just incredibly tired.
The rest of this afternoon? Haircut, ogle Ashlyn's (the hairdresser's) tits, home, eat a couple of chicken curry patties, drop some presents around to my Mom's, go to see "March Of The Penguins", pick up Lorraine.
There will be no post tomorrow. We are going out during the evening to see Elaine Paige at the Symphony Hall. I am really looking forward to it. I heard this afternoon that Jack Barrowman, Captain Jack from "Doctor Who", is going to be a guest singer. They are broadcasting the concert on Radio 2 on Friday night.
Rock on! I glory in my uncoolness!
Friday, December 16, 2005
This evening the Company held it's annual Christmas pissup. I did not attend. I could not be arsed. It has been such a bad time over the last couple of months, and the Company has so little to be pleased with itself about, that it just felt wrong to me to be drinking and dancing and singing and eating with (some) people that I completely and utterly despise.
Damn that hairshirt!
Lorraine did not attend the Company Do either, but she had an excuse as she is getting an early train tomorrow to visit her cousin and will not be back until Sunday night.
And that reminds me. I need to book the taxi for her for tomorrow.
I'm gone.
Damn that hairshirt!
Lorraine did not attend the Company Do either, but she had an excuse as she is getting an early train tomorrow to visit her cousin and will not be back until Sunday night.
And that reminds me. I need to book the taxi for her for tomorrow.
I'm gone.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
OK. These are all replies to all comments received since December 9th. (Bloody hell, they do build up!)
Stef said that he does the "Lost" double bill as well. Obviously he is a man of taste and distinction.
Ginny warned me about giving out any Coronation Street spoilers. As if I would. I hate to read any spoilers about a film or a TV show that I am looking forward to seeing. Actually I have made one exception to that rule and that was in relation to the abortion they made of the "Mission: Impossible" movie. Don't get me started on that subject or I may just post a big spoiler. I was a massive fan of the TV series and I was extremely pissed off by a couple of plot developments in that movie.
Ozbhoy asked if he could blogroll me yet? Many of you know the reasons why the old blog was abandoned and they will not be repeated here, but beeroclock.blogspot.com had something to do with it. It isn't anything to do with you Oz, you know that. You are one of the good guys. (Thinks.) Oh, fuck 'em. Stick me on New Beers for the moment, if you like.
Swiss Toni laughed at being considered enigmatic. But he is. I've met him and he is enigmatic. And tall.
Threelights thinks that "Space Cadets" may well be a total pisstake in that everybody in the show is an actor and not just the ones they have pointed out. Maybe, maybe not. I thought so to, but I have not watched a single episode except the first one, so I cannot really comment.
Stef referred to Carol Thatcher as a "knee-jerk right-wing reactionary cow" with reference to my story about her appearance on the Breakfast Show sofa, 15 years ago. You will get no disagreement from me there, Sir. He also thought that the movie "Three Kings" looked a bit mindless and wondered if the whole issue of the West promising to support the Kurds if and when we invaded Iraq was dealt with. "Three Kings" is a great film and that issue is touched on.
Medusa from the United States said the "Lost" keeps getting better and better. I don't doubt it.
Stef said that all the best arguments are about nothing. No comment.
Adem said that he prefers the younger sister (the redhead!) in "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter". No comment... but obviously the man is a fool. :-)
Daisy Mae reckons that my 12 point plan to create World Peace by Christmas would be easier than writing up last weekend. She is probably right. World Peace is easy to create by Christmas. Wipe out the human race using 12 very large nuclear weapons. Simple. Cynical? Moi?
Stef asked if I would be writing in the 3rd person again? Might do. Or I might write as a 12 year old boy, a lesbian, Rorschach from Watchmen or Charlie, the protagonist of the fine novel "Flowers For Algernon". He said that it was good to tell managers what is actually going on rather than what they think is going on. Thanks for that Stef. Really. I feel very isolated at work at the moment. I have been called negative and I am not.
Threelights commented that Morten Harket would have been in his 20's when A-Ha started. Yes, indeed. It made me stop to think as well. Also he commented on the fact that there is also a German market in Manchester and that there are probably no Germans left in Germany.
Stef said that there is no German market in Bristol. You're missing out, man! Get onto your MP now.
Swiss Toni says that the new A-Ha album is pretty good. It is pretty good. LB was kind enough to burn me a copy. I think that they just need a hit single and they could be back in the top ten for a while. Swiss Toni also says that his and LB's hero (moi?) is not short. He lies. I am short but beautifully formed. I am the same height as Tom Cruise and he is short. I am taller than Napoleon was, though. I am also taller than my Mom (4 foot 10 inches). My Brother is a giant of 5 foot 6 inches! He is a freak!
LB has thrown a tigger at Stef. I am not even going to attempt to explain that.
I am tired. I will correct spellings, links tomorrow.
Adios.
Stef said that he does the "Lost" double bill as well. Obviously he is a man of taste and distinction.
Ginny warned me about giving out any Coronation Street spoilers. As if I would. I hate to read any spoilers about a film or a TV show that I am looking forward to seeing. Actually I have made one exception to that rule and that was in relation to the abortion they made of the "Mission: Impossible" movie. Don't get me started on that subject or I may just post a big spoiler. I was a massive fan of the TV series and I was extremely pissed off by a couple of plot developments in that movie.
Ozbhoy asked if he could blogroll me yet? Many of you know the reasons why the old blog was abandoned and they will not be repeated here, but beeroclock.blogspot.com had something to do with it. It isn't anything to do with you Oz, you know that. You are one of the good guys. (Thinks.) Oh, fuck 'em. Stick me on New Beers for the moment, if you like.
Swiss Toni laughed at being considered enigmatic. But he is. I've met him and he is enigmatic. And tall.
Threelights thinks that "Space Cadets" may well be a total pisstake in that everybody in the show is an actor and not just the ones they have pointed out. Maybe, maybe not. I thought so to, but I have not watched a single episode except the first one, so I cannot really comment.
Stef referred to Carol Thatcher as a "knee-jerk right-wing reactionary cow" with reference to my story about her appearance on the Breakfast Show sofa, 15 years ago. You will get no disagreement from me there, Sir. He also thought that the movie "Three Kings" looked a bit mindless and wondered if the whole issue of the West promising to support the Kurds if and when we invaded Iraq was dealt with. "Three Kings" is a great film and that issue is touched on.
Medusa from the United States said the "Lost" keeps getting better and better. I don't doubt it.
Stef said that all the best arguments are about nothing. No comment.
Adem said that he prefers the younger sister (the redhead!) in "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter". No comment... but obviously the man is a fool. :-)
Daisy Mae reckons that my 12 point plan to create World Peace by Christmas would be easier than writing up last weekend. She is probably right. World Peace is easy to create by Christmas. Wipe out the human race using 12 very large nuclear weapons. Simple. Cynical? Moi?
Stef asked if I would be writing in the 3rd person again? Might do. Or I might write as a 12 year old boy, a lesbian, Rorschach from Watchmen or Charlie, the protagonist of the fine novel "Flowers For Algernon". He said that it was good to tell managers what is actually going on rather than what they think is going on. Thanks for that Stef. Really. I feel very isolated at work at the moment. I have been called negative and I am not.
Threelights commented that Morten Harket would have been in his 20's when A-Ha started. Yes, indeed. It made me stop to think as well. Also he commented on the fact that there is also a German market in Manchester and that there are probably no Germans left in Germany.
Stef said that there is no German market in Bristol. You're missing out, man! Get onto your MP now.
Swiss Toni says that the new A-Ha album is pretty good. It is pretty good. LB was kind enough to burn me a copy. I think that they just need a hit single and they could be back in the top ten for a while. Swiss Toni also says that his and LB's hero (moi?) is not short. He lies. I am short but beautifully formed. I am the same height as Tom Cruise and he is short. I am taller than Napoleon was, though. I am also taller than my Mom (4 foot 10 inches). My Brother is a giant of 5 foot 6 inches! He is a freak!
LB has thrown a tigger at Stef. I am not even going to attempt to explain that.
I am tired. I will correct spellings, links tomorrow.
Adios.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
There is a fake polar bear in my living room singing "Jingle Bells". There are decorations and baubles and candles and a nativity scene. Somebody has sent us Christmas cards, which Lorraine has put on the shelf so that I can no longer see the clock. The fruit dish has been moved. I have no idea where the bin is, or Moon The Cat for that matter. The dining room table is full of crap. It is all incredibly annoying.
I have told Lorraine to be gone from the living room by the time the "Lost" double bill starts at 10pm. Reasonable? Yeah.
Let's play screw the chronology.
On Saturday afternoon I went to see "Transporter 2". It is preposterous, ridiculous and laugh out loud funny. I loved every terrible minute of it. Jason Staham was laudably po-faced, humourless and serious throughout. I especially enjoyed Kate Natula as a barely clothed psychopath. Great stuff.
Friday night I watched LB's favourite film of all time, "Beautiful Girls". Incredible cast and it was good, but "The Day The Earth Caught Fire" still has my heart.
Sunday morning I went to see "Mrs. Henderson Presents". It is not bad, but it is pretty much a cliched British picture. Eccentric, funny and rude as well, I suppose. Will Young does sing some nice songs.
Friday night I went to see A-Ha with LB and enjoyed it very much. LB has written very eloquently about the gig elsewhere on teh net, so go and read that if you can find it. What I will say that it was a much more of a rock gig than I would have imagined. Best songs? Oh, easy. "Hunting High And Low" and "The Living Daylights". Morten Harket perhaps is not the Norwegian Sex God that he was in 1985, but he looks way younger than his 46 years. Also, A-Ha fans take teddy bears with them to throw onto the stage, so do that if you are going to see them.
LB has two cats. One is a Blofeld white cat with eyes planning world domination and the other is... I don't really know. I caught a glimpse of a huge cat on the stairs and then it vanished. I think that Blofeld cat took a shine to me because it sat on my lap during "Beautiful Girls". See above.
Moon The Cat sniffed my jeans when I arrived home at Saturday lunchtime. He realised that I had been unfaithful to him with another feline and ignored me for rest of the day.
I had a headache on Saturday night. I struggled through watching the "X-Factor" (Brenda out! Fucking hell!) and then went to bed.
Sunday night Lorraine and I had a massive argument because she had moved some of my magazines. As I said previously, it was an argument about nothing.
LB and Swiss Toni are the tallest men in the East Midlands. Possibly they are the tallest men on Earth. I felt like a dwarf walking down the street with them. Swiss Toni is the spitting image of the technician out of "Spooks". In the pub we talked about music, films and Aston Villa. They both seemed like good guys.
LB and I ate in a Pizza Express. He had the Christmas Pizza and I had the Pollo ad Astra Pizza. Mine was very good. You'll have to ask LB what he thought of his.
Nottingham has a German street market at Christmas time. It is exactly the same as the one in Victoria Square in Birmingham, and I do mean exactly the same except that there were not very many people at the Nottingham market as we walked by.
Is that it? Could be.
Sorry. This is a bit rushed. I will reply to all comments made over the past couple of days, tomorrow.
I have told Lorraine to be gone from the living room by the time the "Lost" double bill starts at 10pm. Reasonable? Yeah.
Let's play screw the chronology.
On Saturday afternoon I went to see "Transporter 2". It is preposterous, ridiculous and laugh out loud funny. I loved every terrible minute of it. Jason Staham was laudably po-faced, humourless and serious throughout. I especially enjoyed Kate Natula as a barely clothed psychopath. Great stuff.Friday night I watched LB's favourite film of all time, "Beautiful Girls". Incredible cast and it was good, but "The Day The Earth Caught Fire" still has my heart.
Sunday morning I went to see "Mrs. Henderson Presents". It is not bad, but it is pretty much a cliched British picture. Eccentric, funny and rude as well, I suppose. Will Young does sing some nice songs.
Friday night I went to see A-Ha with LB and enjoyed it very much. LB has written very eloquently about the gig elsewhere on teh net, so go and read that if you can find it. What I will say that it was a much more of a rock gig than I would have imagined. Best songs? Oh, easy. "Hunting High And Low" and "The Living Daylights". Morten Harket perhaps is not the Norwegian Sex God that he was in 1985, but he looks way younger than his 46 years. Also, A-Ha fans take teddy bears with them to throw onto the stage, so do that if you are going to see them.
LB has two cats. One is a Blofeld white cat with eyes planning world domination and the other is... I don't really know. I caught a glimpse of a huge cat on the stairs and then it vanished. I think that Blofeld cat took a shine to me because it sat on my lap during "Beautiful Girls". See above.
Moon The Cat sniffed my jeans when I arrived home at Saturday lunchtime. He realised that I had been unfaithful to him with another feline and ignored me for rest of the day.
I had a headache on Saturday night. I struggled through watching the "X-Factor" (Brenda out! Fucking hell!) and then went to bed.
Sunday night Lorraine and I had a massive argument because she had moved some of my magazines. As I said previously, it was an argument about nothing.
LB and Swiss Toni are the tallest men in the East Midlands. Possibly they are the tallest men on Earth. I felt like a dwarf walking down the street with them. Swiss Toni is the spitting image of the technician out of "Spooks". In the pub we talked about music, films and Aston Villa. They both seemed like good guys.
LB and I ate in a Pizza Express. He had the Christmas Pizza and I had the Pollo ad Astra Pizza. Mine was very good. You'll have to ask LB what he thought of his.
Nottingham has a German street market at Christmas time. It is exactly the same as the one in Victoria Square in Birmingham, and I do mean exactly the same except that there were not very many people at the Nottingham market as we walked by.
Is that it? Could be.
Sorry. This is a bit rushed. I will reply to all comments made over the past couple of days, tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Pynchon went to work today. When he arrived he took his coat off, turned his computer on and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought with the pricks all morning.
Then Pynchon went to lunch.
Pynchon decided that, as the vegetarian choice looked like something that would turn Paul McCartney into a carnivore, and the two other choices resembled something that had been vomited up by a dog into a gutter the night before, he would partake of a sandwich. The slow moving, sad eyed, Cain Dingle lookalike, drone behind the counter informed Pynchon that sadly the canteen were bereft of baguettes and that the only other bread available was white bread. Pynchon decided that, as the choice of bread was so poor, he would compliment it with a poor choice of filling. Pynchon chose a cold sausage and 2-week-old-turkey sandwich, with lashings of butter. Pynchon imagined his arteries hardening as he consumed his tasty morsel.
During the afternoon Pynchon took receipt of a very rude email blaming him for things that had nothing to do with him. This led to an enjoyable exchange via email with 3 managers in which Pynchon was precise and blunt and truthful about exactly who he felt were responsible for the problems. One of the managers tried the "Hey, we're all in this together" tack, which Pynchon rejected with a terse "I am not taking responsibility for the actions of morons" comment before stomping out of the office.
Pynchon wandered around the building for a while, only stopping for a chat with his friend Vicky, who seemed glad to see him. Pynchon noted that his friend Vicky was looking particularly good and that her blouse seemed quite tight. Pynchon speculated that Vicky might be about to have her period as her breasts seemed larger than normal. Eventually Pynchon went back to his desk and his lady Lorraine asked him if everything was OK. Pynchon said that it was.
When the work day had ended, Pynchon went home.
At home Pynchon cooked some food for himself and his lady, ate, then watched the second half of "Secret Smile". Pynchon liked "Secret Smile" very much and commented to his lady that he thought David Tennant was going to make a fine Doctor in the new series of "Doctor Who".
Tomorrow Pynchon will reply to everybody who has been kind enough to comment on his blog. He will also try to write about A-Ha, the LB, Swiss Toni and Pynchon Nottingham summit meeting, Blofeld-alike cats, "Transporter 2", "Mrs. Henderson Presents" and arguments about nothing. Or, he might share with the world his 12 point plan to create World Peace before Christmas. Whatever is easier.
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought and
fought with the pricks all morning.
Then Pynchon went to lunch.
Pynchon decided that, as the vegetarian choice looked like something that would turn Paul McCartney into a carnivore, and the two other choices resembled something that had been vomited up by a dog into a gutter the night before, he would partake of a sandwich. The slow moving, sad eyed, Cain Dingle lookalike, drone behind the counter informed Pynchon that sadly the canteen were bereft of baguettes and that the only other bread available was white bread. Pynchon decided that, as the choice of bread was so poor, he would compliment it with a poor choice of filling. Pynchon chose a cold sausage and 2-week-old-turkey sandwich, with lashings of butter. Pynchon imagined his arteries hardening as he consumed his tasty morsel.
During the afternoon Pynchon took receipt of a very rude email blaming him for things that had nothing to do with him. This led to an enjoyable exchange via email with 3 managers in which Pynchon was precise and blunt and truthful about exactly who he felt were responsible for the problems. One of the managers tried the "Hey, we're all in this together" tack, which Pynchon rejected with a terse "I am not taking responsibility for the actions of morons" comment before stomping out of the office.
Pynchon wandered around the building for a while, only stopping for a chat with his friend Vicky, who seemed glad to see him. Pynchon noted that his friend Vicky was looking particularly good and that her blouse seemed quite tight. Pynchon speculated that Vicky might be about to have her period as her breasts seemed larger than normal. Eventually Pynchon went back to his desk and his lady Lorraine asked him if everything was OK. Pynchon said that it was.
When the work day had ended, Pynchon went home.
At home Pynchon cooked some food for himself and his lady, ate, then watched the second half of "Secret Smile". Pynchon liked "Secret Smile" very much and commented to his lady that he thought David Tennant was going to make a fine Doctor in the new series of "Doctor Who".
Tomorrow Pynchon will reply to everybody who has been kind enough to comment on his blog. He will also try to write about A-Ha, the LB, Swiss Toni and Pynchon Nottingham summit meeting, Blofeld-alike cats, "Transporter 2", "Mrs. Henderson Presents" and arguments about nothing. Or, he might share with the world his 12 point plan to create World Peace before Christmas. Whatever is easier.
Monday, December 12, 2005
I am still here. I am not dead or incapacitated. I have not been kidnapped by aliens or by nymphomaniacs (but if anybody knows any nymphomaniacs who would be interested in kidnapping me, please let me know). I have just been... ill or busy.
I was back on Saturday, but my evening was defeated by a fearsome beasty of a headache. Sunday I was at the cinema and then at my Brother's, for what seemed like several years, helping him sort out a problem on his computer. Then I was home and had an argument with Lorraine about, well, absolutely nothing. The night was gone.
I will go into all of this over the next couple of days. It was a busy weekend. There is not much time tonight to write anything. Lorraine is about to call me for dinner and she might stab me if I don't come a running. Then am going to watch David Tennant in "Secret Smile" .
Later, guys.
I was back on Saturday, but my evening was defeated by a fearsome beasty of a headache. Sunday I was at the cinema and then at my Brother's, for what seemed like several years, helping him sort out a problem on his computer. Then I was home and had an argument with Lorraine about, well, absolutely nothing. The night was gone.
I will go into all of this over the next couple of days. It was a busy weekend. There is not much time tonight to write anything. Lorraine is about to call me for dinner and she might stab me if I don't come a running. Then am going to watch David Tennant in "Secret Smile" .
Later, guys.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Say "Hello" to John the Vegetable.
Last night I sat and was glued to the goggle box all night. There was time to get up, turn on the computer and write something, but I couldn't be arsed. It was one of those nights following one of those days.
I watched "Coronation Street". (Hi, Ginny!) Grotesques and caricatures. And what the hell is Danny Baldwin playing at? For Christ's sake Danny! Run! Run!
I watched "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter". Is it just me or did the blonde daughter look way hotter in the earlier shows than she does now? Now she must be all of 20 years old. Obviously gone to seed.
I watched half an hour of Stephen Herek's version of "The Three Musketeers". I watched 29 minutes too much, if you ask me. Just awful.
I watched the opening edition of "Space Cadets". Has it occurred to anybody that the whole thing might be a pisstake, that all of the contestants might be actors and that the hoax is on the British public? It has occurred to you? Oh. (Sulks off into the corner.)
I watched the "Lost" double bill. Poor John Locke... And what's inside the fucking hatch, already? Huh, huh. (And don't use that as an excuse for spoilers, if you don't mind.)
By midnight I felt exhausted. Even the 10 minute porn freeview failed to stir me. I will not spend that amount of time in front of the TV again. It is bad time and it is wasted time.
I am off to Nottingham tomorrow to meet up with the legendary LB (and possibly the enigmatic Swiss Toni) and to cavort like a Gypsy on mushrooms to the Norwegian giants A-Ha later in the evening. I have a CD to listen to and must go.
Oh, yes. I nearly forgot.
Fuck you Mark Chapman, you CUNT!
Back Saturday.
Last night I sat and was glued to the goggle box all night. There was time to get up, turn on the computer and write something, but I couldn't be arsed. It was one of those nights following one of those days.
I watched "Coronation Street". (Hi, Ginny!) Grotesques and caricatures. And what the hell is Danny Baldwin playing at? For Christ's sake Danny! Run! Run!
I watched "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter". Is it just me or did the blonde daughter look way hotter in the earlier shows than she does now? Now she must be all of 20 years old. Obviously gone to seed.
I watched half an hour of Stephen Herek's version of "The Three Musketeers". I watched 29 minutes too much, if you ask me. Just awful.
I watched the opening edition of "Space Cadets". Has it occurred to anybody that the whole thing might be a pisstake, that all of the contestants might be actors and that the hoax is on the British public? It has occurred to you? Oh. (Sulks off into the corner.)
I watched the "Lost" double bill. Poor John Locke... And what's inside the fucking hatch, already? Huh, huh. (And don't use that as an excuse for spoilers, if you don't mind.)
By midnight I felt exhausted. Even the 10 minute porn freeview failed to stir me. I will not spend that amount of time in front of the TV again. It is bad time and it is wasted time.
I am off to Nottingham tomorrow to meet up with the legendary LB (and possibly the enigmatic Swiss Toni) and to cavort like a Gypsy on mushrooms to the Norwegian giants A-Ha later in the evening. I have a CD to listen to and must go.
Oh, yes. I nearly forgot.
Fuck you Mark Chapman, you CUNT!
Back Saturday.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
This evening, after dinner, Lorraine asked me if I wanted to watch an episode of "Alias". Hmm. OK, then. She obviously has some devious and cunning plan in the works, considering the fact that just yesterday we had an argument because I wanted to get on with watching the rest of the "Alias" box set and she didn't.
Or perhaps she was just being nice? Let me think about that for a minute.
(Thinks.)
Nah. She is up to something. I can feel it. I will probably get back from Nottingham and find out that she has sold the house or moved out and taken up with an unemployed actor or something.
I read this morning that Carol Thatcher (daughter of vile, loathsome, despicable, witch ex Prime Minister Margaret) won the latest series of "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here". I have never seen the show. I couldn't give a damn about it.
I have never liked Carol Thatcher. She seems to be too much her Mother's daughter for my liking. Rent-a-quote, loud, gobby, ill informed, a fuckwit for want of a better word. A long time ago, during Gulf War I on the day after Iraqi army were expelled from Kuwait by the United Nations coalition forces, Carol Thatcher and a retired crusty old British army General (it might have been General Sir John Hackett, author of the very interesting "What If?" novel "The Third World War", but don't quote me on that) found themselves sharing a comfy sofa on the GMTV Breakfast Show. The United Nations coalition forces camped at the Iraqi border, but did not enter Iraqi territory. Carol Thatcher was asked what she thought the United Nations coalition forces should do next.
"We should invade!", was her considered response. "We should bomb them into submission! We should liberate the brave people of Iraq! We should roll the tanks into Hussein's palace and remove the Dictator!" and so on and so forth.
The General was asked his opinion. He looked at Carol Thatcher, raised an eyebrow and said, "Miss Thatcher. With respect, it is very easy for you to say that, but YOU wouldn't have to do any of this would you?" and he then proceeded to completely destroy every single argument that she put forward. He talked about the potential casualties and post liberation dangers. He was kind of brilliant (and prophetic!) and showed her up for the ignoramus she was/is.
No. I have never liked Carol Thatcher. Not one little bit. With respect, fuck her and her whole family.
Or perhaps she was just being nice? Let me think about that for a minute.
(Thinks.)
Nah. She is up to something. I can feel it. I will probably get back from Nottingham and find out that she has sold the house or moved out and taken up with an unemployed actor or something.
I read this morning that Carol Thatcher (daughter of vile, loathsome, despicable, witch ex Prime Minister Margaret) won the latest series of "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here". I have never seen the show. I couldn't give a damn about it.
I have never liked Carol Thatcher. She seems to be too much her Mother's daughter for my liking. Rent-a-quote, loud, gobby, ill informed, a fuckwit for want of a better word. A long time ago, during Gulf War I on the day after Iraqi army were expelled from Kuwait by the United Nations coalition forces, Carol Thatcher and a retired crusty old British army General (it might have been General Sir John Hackett, author of the very interesting "What If?" novel "The Third World War", but don't quote me on that) found themselves sharing a comfy sofa on the GMTV Breakfast Show. The United Nations coalition forces camped at the Iraqi border, but did not enter Iraqi territory. Carol Thatcher was asked what she thought the United Nations coalition forces should do next.
"We should invade!", was her considered response. "We should bomb them into submission! We should liberate the brave people of Iraq! We should roll the tanks into Hussein's palace and remove the Dictator!" and so on and so forth.
The General was asked his opinion. He looked at Carol Thatcher, raised an eyebrow and said, "Miss Thatcher. With respect, it is very easy for you to say that, but YOU wouldn't have to do any of this would you?" and he then proceeded to completely destroy every single argument that she put forward. He talked about the potential casualties and post liberation dangers. He was kind of brilliant (and prophetic!) and showed her up for the ignoramus she was/is.
No. I have never liked Carol Thatcher. Not one little bit. With respect, fuck her and her whole family.
Monday, December 05, 2005
This has been my exciting day.
- I went to work with Lorraine. Being a mad cow she decided last night that she wanted to get into work for 7am to "show willing". Obviously ridiculous, so I chose not to wake her and she ended up at work just after 9am with me. She was mightily pissed.
- At work I nearly fell asleep due to the banality and tedium of it all.
- Lorraine and I got a lift home from Freddie Podge. Freddie is a nice guy, but he is so full of himself that I often have to resist the strong urge to give him a smack.
- Cooked. Steak, salad, coleslaw and chips.
- Watched "Coronation Street". Very dramatic...
- Washed up.
- Ironed 3 shirts.
- Helped Lorraine buy a train ticket over the Internet for the visit to her cousin in two weeks.
- Bought my own train ticket over the Internet for my visit to Nottingham on Friday to see A-Ha with LB.
- Sent an email.
- Argued with Lorraine about when we are going to watch the next episode of "Alias" on DVD. As Lorraine appears to have lost interest in "Alias" I said that I would probably watch the rest of them on my own. She has forbade me from doing this. Ah... I have been forbidden, have I? We'll see about that.
- Looked at some blogs. Commented on... two?
- Wrote this.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
It was Bottom Sister's 30th birthday today. After fighting our way through the maurading, joyless, scowling, barbarian hordes of shoppers in the city centre, with a quick stop in Starbucks for hot chocolate and blueberry muffins, Lorraine and I made our way over to Bottom Sister's house for a birthday buffet. We had a good time. With the exception of my Brother (who is currently feuding with Bottom Sister over some imagined slight or other) the whole family was in attendance. My Mom, Top Sister, Middle Sister, Bottom Sister, Niece, Nephew and Lorraine. Sandwiches, sausage rolls, sausages, potato salad, coleslaw, chicken nuggets, onion rings, tomatoes, lettuce, fish sticks, garlic bread and several varieties of birthday cake, sponge cake, chocolate cake and fruit cake were all consumed. There was no alcohol at all. The most potent drink I consumed was a couple of cups of PG Tips. It was an old fashioned birthday party; the kind you might have had when you were 8 years old.
During the afternoon Lorraine and I helped my Niece and Nephew make Christmas decorations. During this artistic endeavor I was interrogated at length by them about the plans for 23rd December. On that day Lorraine and I are taking my Niece and Nephew to see the panto Peter Pan starring Joe Pasquale. It has become a tradition that just before Christmas we take them out to a show and give their Mom's time to sort out Christmas arrangements. My Niece was very concerned about what we were going to eat before the show, as she has just announced that she has turned vegetarian. Her school friend told her about a machine that has live pigs put into it at one end and then at the other end has sausage's come out. She didn't like the sound of that very much. I can respect that.
My Niece is 8 years old.
It was a fine time. It was a good day.
Yesterday I went to see "Doom". It could be the worst film I have seen this year, if not the worst film I have seen in the past 5 years. It is an appalling piece of shit. It is crap. It is terrible. It is dreadful in every way. It is also a really boring and unexciting film, and the first person shooter section isn't that great. Without any characters to like (have a look at the "Aliens" or "Dog Soldiers" for films that both feature military units dealing with extreme circumstances, where you actually care about the characters) or a story to engage (ditto) then there isn't really a lot to keep you interested. I have never played electronic games, but I would be interested to hear if an appreciation of the "Doom" game is in any way necessary for an appreciation of the movie. Perhaps The Rock will become a more animated Arnold Schwarzenegger for the 21st century, but he will need a better movie than "Doom" to achieve that.
Rosamund Pike was nice to look at, though. (The shape of her nipples beneath her tight white top certainly got my attention.) I have only just realised that Rosamund Pike looks exactly like Lorraine's friend Lana Blue, but without the torquoise eyes. A couple of years ago I saw Rosamund Pike naked onstage in the West End. She was in a very good play called "Hitchcock Blonde", written by Terry Johnson, in which she played Janet Leigh's body double. Well worth seeing, for all sorts of reasons, if there is a production in your area.
Rosamund Pike can do a lot better than appearing in a turd like "Doom".
During the afternoon Lorraine and I helped my Niece and Nephew make Christmas decorations. During this artistic endeavor I was interrogated at length by them about the plans for 23rd December. On that day Lorraine and I are taking my Niece and Nephew to see the panto Peter Pan starring Joe Pasquale. It has become a tradition that just before Christmas we take them out to a show and give their Mom's time to sort out Christmas arrangements. My Niece was very concerned about what we were going to eat before the show, as she has just announced that she has turned vegetarian. Her school friend told her about a machine that has live pigs put into it at one end and then at the other end has sausage's come out. She didn't like the sound of that very much. I can respect that.
My Niece is 8 years old.
It was a fine time. It was a good day.
Yesterday I went to see "Doom". It could be the worst film I have seen this year, if not the worst film I have seen in the past 5 years. It is an appalling piece of shit. It is crap. It is terrible. It is dreadful in every way. It is also a really boring and unexciting film, and the first person shooter section isn't that great. Without any characters to like (have a look at the "Aliens" or "Dog Soldiers" for films that both feature military units dealing with extreme circumstances, where you actually care about the characters) or a story to engage (ditto) then there isn't really a lot to keep you interested. I have never played electronic games, but I would be interested to hear if an appreciation of the "Doom" game is in any way necessary for an appreciation of the movie. Perhaps The Rock will become a more animated Arnold Schwarzenegger for the 21st century, but he will need a better movie than "Doom" to achieve that.
Rosamund Pike was nice to look at, though. (The shape of her nipples beneath her tight white top certainly got my attention.) I have only just realised that Rosamund Pike looks exactly like Lorraine's friend Lana Blue, but without the torquoise eyes. A couple of years ago I saw Rosamund Pike naked onstage in the West End. She was in a very good play called "Hitchcock Blonde", written by Terry Johnson, in which she played Janet Leigh's body double. Well worth seeing, for all sorts of reasons, if there is a production in your area.Rosamund Pike can do a lot better than appearing in a turd like "Doom".
Friday, December 02, 2005
It was a seismic event.
It was a meeting of minds.
It was Lennon meets McCartney.
It was Page meets...
Hang on a minute. Haven't I written this stuff before? Sure have. Shit! I need to write something different.
I spent this afternoon in the pub with Graham Reed, brother of Mark Reed. Blogger, philosopher, film buff, reader, writer and all round good egg. The time went by in a flash. He drank Strongbow, I drank Stella Artois and opinions were shared.
It was a meeting of minds.
It was Lennon meets McCartney.
It was Page meets...
Hang on a minute. Haven't I written this stuff before? Sure have. Shit! I need to write something different.
I spent this afternoon in the pub with Graham Reed, brother of Mark Reed. Blogger, philosopher, film buff, reader, writer and all round good egg. The time went by in a flash. He drank Strongbow, I drank Stella Artois and opinions were shared.
- Movies. Graham prefers "Moonraker" to "The Spy Who Loved Me". Obviously mad, except that he correctly recognises that "Die Another Day" was a load of toss. Good man. He thinks that the Stephen Soderburgh version of "Solaris" is one of those rare films that gets better with each viewing. He is correct. His favourite films of all time are "Fight Club", "Blade Runner - The Director's Cut" and something else that escapes me at this moment. No arguments from me there. He does not know any of Daniel Craig's previous film work prior to being cast as 007.
- TV. Graham hardly watches any TV. He has never seen "Lost". He does not see this as a problem. He is a sad, misguided fool and his life cannot be fulfilled until he witnesses the genius of that TV show.
- Relationships. We talked about his ex-wife and some of his ex-girlfriends. We talked about Lorraine and Vicky Sunshine, tits, temptations, choices made, the meaning of commitment, sexual orientation and the Kinsey scale (1 to 5, 1 being strictly heterosexual, 5 being strictly homosexual. I think that I am a 2. When I fantasize, I think about women, but I am not disgusted by the idea of sex with men).
- Politics. Graham thinks that Condoleeza Rice vs. Hilary Clinton will be the battle for the US Presidency in 2008. This assumes that Dick Cheney steps down from the Vice-Presidency in 2006 (due to ill health) with Rice replacing him. Lots of if's and but's here. The Democrats problem will be in finding a popular candidate with no baggage who is electable. I don't think that Hilary Clinton is that person. She might be one day, but not now.
- Music. Graham has seen only one tribute band and they did U2. I have seen lots of tribute bands. All Mod Cons, The Complete Stone Roses, The Bootleg Beatles, The Counterfeit Stones, The Australian Doors, plus others that escape my memory. Graham likes U2, although he thinks that sometimes Bono is an arse. Bono is an arse, but don't you have to be an arse to be in rock and roll? We both like Neil Young.
- Accents. Graham said that I pronounce a particular word in a funny way. I cannot remember the word. (Graham?) Apparently it proves that I was brought up in a particular part of Birmingham. Graham has no accent at all that I could discern.
- Houses. Graham had to cancel the fitting of his carpet because the paint on the skirting board was wet. Apparently the house will be acceptable to enter, and the skirting board dry, by the time of the housewarming party on December 17th.
- Booze. Graham does not like wine. Damn...
- One day Graham would like to own one of Suburban Hen's paintings, but he does not think that this will happen.
- Er... Lots more, but time is getting on.
Quick bit about last night.
I went to see The Complete Stone Roses at the Carling Academy. I think that it was a different lineup this time from the one that played Wolverhampton Civic Hall a couple of years ago, but I read somewhere that they change the lineup every 3 years or so to keep it fresh. Good idea. I was down the front, solid against the barrier. The band played upstairs in the bar, but there were so many people at the gig that I am surprised they did not play downstairs in the venue proper.
It was pretty disconcerting at first when a gang of 12 years olds bounced onto the stage, picked up instruments, plugged in and launched into "I Wanna Be Adored", but that quickly passed when I realised that they were managing a pretty good approximation of the Roses recorded sound. "Elephant Stone", "Made Of Stone", "I Am The Resurrection", "She Bangs The Drums", etc. Very good. They also played some stuff off the underrated "The Second Coming" album, which surprised me. I thought that that album has been pretty much dismissed.
Anyway, it was a good night out, even if I did feel like the oldest person at the gig by about 20 years. Am I supposed to act like a grownup and stop going down the front at gigs? Sorry, but nobody told me that.
