Tuesday, December 13, 2005

 
Pynchon went to work today. When he arrived he took his coat off, turned his computer on and

fought and

fought and

fought and

fought and

fought and

fought and

fought and

fought and

fought with the pricks all morning.

Then Pynchon went to lunch.

Pynchon decided that, as the vegetarian choice looked like something that would turn Paul McCartney into a carnivore, and the two other choices resembled something that had been vomited up by a dog into a gutter the night before, he would partake of a sandwich. The slow moving, sad eyed, Cain Dingle lookalike, drone behind the counter informed Pynchon that sadly the canteen were bereft of baguettes and that the only other bread available was white bread. Pynchon decided that, as the choice of bread was so poor, he would compliment it with a poor choice of filling. Pynchon chose a cold sausage and 2-week-old-turkey sandwich, with lashings of butter. Pynchon imagined his arteries hardening as he consumed his tasty morsel.

During the afternoon Pynchon took receipt of a very rude email blaming him for things that had nothing to do with him. This led to an enjoyable exchange via email with 3 managers in which Pynchon was precise and blunt and truthful about exactly who he felt were responsible for the problems. One of the managers tried the "Hey, we're all in this together" tack, which Pynchon rejected with a terse "I am not taking responsibility for the actions of morons" comment before stomping out of the office.

Pynchon wandered around the building for a while, only stopping for a chat with his friend Vicky, who seemed glad to see him. Pynchon noted that his friend Vicky was looking particularly good and that her blouse seemed quite tight. Pynchon speculated that Vicky might be about to have her period as her breasts seemed larger than normal. Eventually Pynchon went back to his desk and his lady Lorraine asked him if everything was OK. Pynchon said that it was.

When the work day had ended, Pynchon went home.

At home Pynchon cooked some food for himself and his lady, ate, then watched the second half of "Secret Smile". Pynchon liked "Secret Smile" very much and commented to his lady that he thought David Tennant was going to make a fine Doctor in the new series of "Doctor Who".

Tomorrow Pynchon will reply to everybody who has been kind enough to comment on his blog. He will also try to write about A-Ha, the LB, Swiss Toni and Pynchon Nottingham summit meeting, Blofeld-alike cats, "Transporter 2", "Mrs. Henderson Presents" and arguments about nothing. Or, he might share with the world his 12 point plan to create World Peace before Christmas. Whatever is easier.

Comments:
World Peace before Christmas might be easier but who needs the easy route, right?!
 
Will Pynchon be writing in the 3rd person tomorrow?

Good on you for telling the manager exactly how it is, they need that more often. If you're "all in it together" then why were you made a scapegoat? Tossers!
 
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