Pynchon

Christmas Eve has just turned into Christmas Day. Happy Christmas, everyone.

Christmas Eve, after the whirling dervish of activity in December of gigs, Christmas and food shopping, meals, panto, play (more about that in a minute) and movies finally ended, I felt curiously deflated. I was down and in a funk. I wasn't happy and I couldn't tell you why. God knows, Lorraine tried her best to get me out of it.

"Do you want to play a game?"

"No."

"Do you want to watch a DVD?"

"No."

"Why don't you make a cocktail?"

"Fucking No!"

and so on and so forth. Eventually she got fed up of this and went to bed. I sulked in front of the TV for several hours (and watched Sarah Michelle Geller in "The Grudge" on one of the Sky Movies channels, which I thought was very good) and then came up here. I feel better now. I bet Lorraine will be delighted to hear that when I get the chance to tell her, after I managed to ruin her Christmas Eve.

So, Christmas Eve morning (very early morning) we did the last of the food shopping. Then we stopped for breakfast at House Of Fraser's restaurant (I had a smoked salmon and scrambled egg croissant, Lorraine had French toast and berrys), Lorraine bought some Christmas china and we went home. I fell asleep for a couple of hours while Lorraine did weird things with tablecloths and coasters and china on the dining room table, and then we headed back into town to see "The Santaland Diaries and Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" at the Birmingham Rep.

"The Santaland Diaries and Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" was written by David Sedaris and adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello. It consisted of two festive monologues. "The Santaland Diaries" was about David Sedaris' experiences while working as an elf in Macy's department store in New York City. It was very funny, but came from an obviously funny situation. "Season's Greetings To All Our Friends And Families" was a rant by an apparently nice, middle class lady on the problems faced by her nice, middle class family. It was the bleakest and blackest of comedies; very twisted and with a horrible denouement. Was the lady psychotic? She might be. Go and see the play, or read it for yourself if you get the chance, and make up your own mind. In general the critics in Birmingham have not liked this monologue as much as "The Santaland Diaries". One critic said that it was just not funny. I would disagree. Plaudits to actors Craig Cazey and Suzan Sylvester, by the way. They were both brilliant.

I might have a wank, now. I don't know.

I will be back later. Sometime between the Christmas Top Of The Pops that ends at 3pm and "Doctor Who" that starts at 7pm.

Happy Christmas, everyone. (I've already said that.)