Pynchon

I have become obsessed with this song. It's the way my brain works, I'm afraid.

Labels: Music

John Stewart died on the 19th January 2008.

Who is John Stewart, I hear you ask? Well, amongst other things he wrote one of the greatest pop songs of all time. And here it is.



I think that will do for this evening. I am off to watch "Ronin" on Channel 5. Never seen it. Not really sure why.

Labels: Music

After the shittiest of shit days at work yesterday, I got home and found that I was too tired to be bothered to do anything. So I vegetated in front of the TV to the following.

The repeat of the last episode of "Doctor Who" season 3.

A documentary on Marc Bolan.

Another documentary, which was a potted history of British pop music taking in Punk Rock, New Wave, New Romantics, late 80's production line pop (PWL and Stock Aitken Waterman), Britpop, the rise of boy band svengalis and their bands (Nigel Martin Smith - Take That, Tom Watkins - East 17 and Louis Walsh - Boyzone) and then the rise of Simon Cowell and his stable of popstars chosen by the public through the likes of "Popstars", "Popstars - The Rivals", "Pop Idol" and "The X-Factor".

Very interesting documentary, that second one, but the rather snobby attitude that anything produced off a pop production line was crap really pissed me off. Just because a tune is written and performed by a tortured artist in a squat, does not make it a better or more valid tune than one written by a multi-millionaire professional songwriter at their house in L.A. and sung by a white teethed popstrell. A good tune and a good record can come out of any set of circumstances. I can and I will defend "Flying Without Wings" by Westlife, "Back For Good" by Take That and "Stay Another Day" by East 17 as being superior pop records and as good as anything produced by a serious artist.

Phew! Credibility blown. Finally. Thank God for that.

I went to the MAC today to see "The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford".



Simply put, I thought that "The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford" was a cracking piece of work. Serious, poetic and a beautifully shot western, built on excellent central performances by Brad Pitt as Jesse James and Casey Affleck as Robert Ford respectively.

Brad Pitt's Jesse James is hardly an American folk hero. He is a nasty piece of work. Unstable, unpredictable, tormented and ruthless. A dominant personality. People are afraid of Jesse James and rightly so. It is one of the best performances of Pitt's career. Forget Pitt as A-lister and tabloid fodder and think about Pitt as the great character actor that he undoubtedly is.

As good as Pitt is, the true revelation here is the performance of Casey Affleck. I have only ever been aware of Affleck as Ben's brother and as the comic relief in "Ocean's Eleven", "Ocean's Twelve" and "Ocean's Thirteen". There is nothing in those films that could prepare you for his work in "The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford". Just outstanding. If he does not get a Supporting Actor nod at the Oscars next month, I will be very much surprised.

Casey Affleck's Robert Ford is a slightly creepy, slightly dislikeable man who is trying way too hard. He is very much a small man trying to be a big man and in the process manages to get in way over his head. His initial hero worship of Jesse James turns into something disappointing, destructive and tragic.

"The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford" is a great film. Quite a long film, but engrossing throughout. The hours just shot by. It is early days yet, but I think it is my film of the year so far.

Labels: Movies, Music, Television

I rock!

For the first time ever I have purchased and downloaded music from the Internet. I have not developed a migraine, broken out in spots, vomited or fainted.

No stopping me now. Next step, world domination!

Labels: Brilliant, Music

Lorraine has just phoned. She has got to her destination safely.

Do I need to write about how much I miss her nuisance and about how quiet the house is without her in it? Do I need to write about how cold I felt standing in the hallway on my own and about how I felt so disheartened at the thought of cooking for myself, that all I have had is a mince pie and a beer for my tea?

No. I don't need to write about any of that. I will adjust. I will feel better tomorrow. It's not as if she has gone for good.

Anyway, it has been a busy couple of days. Two films and one gig.

On Tuesday morning I went to see "Enchanted".



Oh, my... Excuse my French, but "Enchanted" is just fucking fantastic. So good and enchanting (see what I did there?) that when the movie was over I practically floated out of the cinema.

Seriously, "Enchanted" is a really great family movie, and this is from a man who hardly ever watches family movies at the cinema. If you like, "Enchanted" is a Disney movie for people who hate Disney movies. Comedy for the kids, knowing in-jokes for the adults and a brilliant central performance by Amy Adams as Giselle, cartoon ingenue come to life, all wide eyed innocence and fluttering hand movements. If you see a more game and better comedic performance this year, please let me know, but I doubt if you will. Amy Adams is just wonderful.

Great supporting performances from cynical divorce lawyer with a heart of gold, Patrick Dempsey, more square jawed that any man in history, James Marsden, villainous hag and evil witch queen, Susan Sarandon and snivelling henchman, Timothy Spall. Not to forget the comedy chipmunk. Or was it a comedy rat?

I think that "Enchanted" is well worth the trip to your local fleapit.

On Tuesday evening I went to see From The Jam featuring Bruce Foxton and Rick Buckler, at the Carling Academy in Birmingham.



I am going to cheat, because I am feeling lazy.

Let me direct you to a good review of a From The Jam show, written by Swiss Toni a couple of weeks ago, that you can find here, and my own review of the Wulfrun Hall show I went to back in May, that you can find here. If I bothered to write a new review I would mostly only be repeating myself, because From The Jam (again) were just bloody brilliant.

Differences this time.

1. Yer Pynch was not smashed out of his face. His Brother wasn't drinking much, so neither did he.
2. Yer Pynch did not pass out. See above.
3. The band opened with "All Mod Cons" and "To Be Someone (Didn't We Have A Nice Time)" (which is the greatest post Britpop song of all time, by the way) instead of "In The City" and (I think) "Thick As Thieves".
4. There were no Suburban Hen lookalikes anywhere in sight. In fact, thinking about it, I don't think I saw anybody of the fair female form anywhere in the venue.

It was a really great gig. I think that Bruce and Rick are onto a winner here. Maybe a Christmas tour will be a regular occurrence, like the annual Madness and Pogues gigs? Maybe From The Jam will produce a new album and it will be fantastic.

Maybe.

On Wednesday morning I went to see "Hitman".

As personality free, vacuous and empty, but gorgeous looking action movies go, "Hitman" wasn't bad at all. True, Timothy Olyphant was a bit miscast as a baldy action star (Jason Statham might have been better) he did his best, but "Hitman" did entertain me and had some great set pieces, and Olga Kurylenko was a beautiful as she was in "Le Serpent", albeit maybe a little thin. I just don't think I understood or got all of "Hitman" in the way I was supposed to.

Before I saw "Hitman" I talked to a guy at work who is a dedicated computer game player and he asked me if I liked the previous computer game adaptation, "Doom". I told him that I thought "Doom" was a piece of shit. He smiled and said that in that case to forget about seeing "Hitman" , because I wouldn't get the references, the imagery or the nods to the game playing scenarios in the original game.

Maybe he was right, but I have always been of the opinion that a movie adaptation of material from another source, should not limit your audience to only those with an in depth knowledge of the source. Your audience should be everybody with the potential to want to sit through your movie. True, you have to be relatively faithful to the source material, otherwise why bother with the source material at all?, but the requirements of making an interesting movie should come first and foremost.

I liked "Hitman" well enough. A decent enough movie for a Wednesday morning, but that was about all. It is not a classic, but I imagine it will make it's money back on sell through.

Labels: Gigs, Lorraine, Movies, Music, Sad

This evening's post has been derailed somewhat, because my memory was playing tricks on me. Good job I did a little bit of research before I wrote anything down, isn't it?

I will explain.

It's old news anyway, because it was announced last week, that at next year's Brit Awards Paul McCartney will be picking up the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Well deserved, if you ask me, but of course I would say that. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a huge Beatles fan. (I'll be at the Bootleg Beatles gig at the NIA at the weekend, kids!) The Beatles were one of the great bands and I personally think that some of Macca's solo work has also been very good. Even if you are a Macca hater, and they are legion, you would have to agree that even if the criteria for a Lifetime Acheivement Award were only longevity as a recording artist (45 years and counting) and record sales (large, very large), he would have to be a prime candidate.

However, I had problems with the choice because, as I remembered it, Macca had already picked up the Lifetime Achivement Award at a Brit Awards in the early 80's, when that ceremony was still called the Bristish Rock and Pop Awards. Why should Macca pick up the award again when a multitude of other artists had yet to be celebrated?

Like...

The Rolling Stones.
Led Zeppellin
Phil Collins/Genesis. (Certainly not my cup of tea, but they have sold a lot of records over a very long time.)
Steve Winwood.
Elvis Costello.
Blur. (If they can give it to Oasis, they certainly should give it to Blur.)
Pink Floyd.
Ray Davies and the Kinks.
Sting.
The Pet Shop Boys.
Depeche Mode.
UB40.
Brian Ferry and Roxy Music.
Robbie Williams? (No apologies. I love him.)

I could go on and on, but hopefully you get my drift.

True, I seem to have read somewhere that a pre-requiste to picking up the award is the willingness to perform live on the night, but that does not always happen. Queen won the award in 1990 and did not perform. True, if Freddie Mercury had not been seriously ill it might have been a different story.

I certainly do not think that pop music started and ended with the Beatles, or the Sixties come to that, and rather than giving Macca the award twice somebody else should have been given the nod, even if they had chosen not to perform.

Except...

I then found out that Macca has never received a Lifetime Achivement Award at the Brit Awards or the British Rock and Pop Awards. He won Best Male Singer once, but that is neither here nor there.

About time he got it then!!

Ho hum.

I don't even know why I continued with the post. Kind of pointless. Paint myself into a corner.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Labels: Music

Niki voted off "The X-Factor"?

Fuck off! Bollocks. Fucking outrageous! I piss on the taste of the British public.

Maybe I am taking this too seriously, but I have been waiting to write that since last night.

Anyway, here is the lady doing a really cracking song.



In other news I saw "The Golden Compass" this afternoon. I will write about that tomorrow.

Labels: Music, Television

I have been burning CD's for a friend. I have the address to send them to around here somewhere. (Sorry LB.) I also have some CD's to listen to. (Sorry Katy.)

At the moment, that is about it. I intend to get back into this blogging thing properly over the weekend.

Would anybody be interested in why I made the choices that I did with regard to my compilation for Shuffleathon 2007? 'Course you would.

Next time.

Labels: Music, Shuffleathon

I was going to write something else this evening, but instead it will have to be a sad farewell to Paul Fox, guitarist and songwriter with the UK Punk band the Ruts, who died on 21st October 2007 of lung cancer. I only learnt about it today.

The Ruts were one of the second wave of Punk bands that appeared in the wake of the Pistols, the Clash, etc., circa 1978/1979. I always felt that they were a very promising band, sadly undone by the death of singer Malcolm Owen in 1980 of a heroin overdose. The Ruts played music that fused dub reggae and hardcore punk. They only recorded a handful of singles, and one proper album, but when I was 16/17 I thought they were wonderful.

Better obituaries here and here.

Fancy a bit of "Staring At The Rude Boys"? I do.



RIP.

Labels: Death, Music

Pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure. I thought that writing a blog was supposed to be for pleasure, but it seems to be a hell of a lot of hard work, lately. I really shouldn't take it that seriously.

Anyway...

The review of Maximum Bob's CD is done. Here is the review, but first some thoughts.

Maximum Bob's Shuffleathon CD is a definite Thursday night listening experience. Why Thursday night, I hear you asking? Well, Thursday night is the night that Bob Harris does the Country Music show on BBC Radio 2. It is a show that I can often be found listening to, either while doing the cooking or the washing up. Background ambiance. Some of it I like, some of it I don't. I must admit that I rarely listen to the show until the end.

If I had to label the type of music on Maximum Bob's Shuffleathon CD (and labelling music isn't something I have much truck with) I would definitely say that it is a Country CD. Nothing wrong with that, but it occurred to me that Country music as a genre is seriously under subscribed in my CD collection. In fact, at this moment in time, I can think of only two Country albums that I own. They are

"The Best Of Glen Campbell" by Glen Campbell.
"Sweetheart Of The Rodeo" by the Byrds.

Tracks from those two albums sometimes pop up on shuffle on my MP3 player. Sometimes I let them play. Sometimes I don't.

I have had a good listen to Maximum Bob's CD. This is my honest opinion.

Firstly I have to dismiss the stuff that I thought was shite. (Sorry Bob.)

1. "Chasin' Whiskey" by Julie Roberts.
2. "Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)" by Travis Tritt.
7. "No Next Time" by Allison Moorer.
12. "Whiskey And You" by Tim McGraw.

Dreadful Country cliche's from start to end. Cheating wives, cuckolded husbands, loneliness, alcoholism, twangy vocals and lots and lots of steel guitar. Awful. Truly horrible noise from start to end. (I will say, though, that Lorraine liked all of them. I think she said that to piss me off.)

Now for the ones that I would listen to, and have listened to, again. (There's more I liked than didn't, Bob!)

3. "You Can Feel Bad" by Patty Loveless.

It reminds me of something that Shania Twain would have recorded when she was still releasing great singles in the UK circa 1998/1999. A really good pop song and I just love a good pop song.

4. "Break My Heart Tonight" by Reckless Kelly.

Starts off a bit like "Some Might Say" by Oasis (not a bad thing in my book) and is a nice, mid paced, tuneful rocker. It also features the word 'damn' spat out with some venom which I kind of like. Good track.

5. "Settlin'" by Sugarland.

Starts off like "Stand" by R.EM. or is it something by Talking Heads? Not sure. Another mid paced rocker. Great vocals and guitar work.

6. "Nothing" by Dwight Yoakam.

Ah... Now this is really good. Brilliant track. Really brilliant. It reminds me a lot of the kind of thing Roy Orbison, and sometimes Chris Isaak, used to do so well. Soulful, full of emotion, shimmering guitars, understated organ, strings, wonderful backing vocals. Almost an R 'n' B vibe to it. With a slightly different backing track it could even work as a dance track. (Get Mark Ronson on the phone, now.) One of the two truly outstanding tracks on the CD. (A result, Bob!)

8. "I'm Gonna Miss Her" by Brad Paisley.

This song made me laugh. I think that was the whole point. A guy is forced to make a choice. Fishing or his wife. No choice really. He doesn't really sound like he is going to miss his wife, though. I seem to remember a similar song where a guy had to choose between his wife and his horse. The horse won. Obviously.

9. "I Doubt If It Does To You" by Joy Lynn White.

The second really brilliant track on this CD. Outstanding. A descending acoustic guitar riff reminiscent of "Monday" by the Jam, although not really anything like that song. Yearning, emotional , brilliant vocals, with a girl picking over the remnants of a collapsing relationship. I think it is just wonderful. It might be the best track on the CD. I even looked up the singer on the Web. I might buy the album that this comes from. (Another result, Bob.)

10. "You Look Good In My Shirt" by Keith Urban.

(Isn't this guy married to Nicole Kidman? Bastard! I immediately hate him.) I did like this. True it swings perilously close to Southern redneck cliche, but a fun track nevertheless. Keith sounds like he is having a ball and that makes all the difference. They should have stuck it on the "Dukes Of Hazzard" soundtrack. It would have fitted right in.

11. "You And Tequila" by Deana Carter.

Reminds me of the kind of song that made Norah Jones' career. A lovely, sweet song with practically whispered vocals. Really nice, and kind of sexy, in my opinion.

OK, I didn't like a third of the tracks on the CD, but two thirds I did like. I think that is pretty good for any album I listen to these days.

Labels: Music

One way or another there will be a review of Maximium Bob's Shuffleathon CD at this very spot tomorrow. I am most of the way through writing it, but I am still not happy. I think a time limit is called for.

In other news, Lorraine is horrified by the use of her favourite song of all time ("Dock Of The Bay" by Otis Redding) in a car advert. I think the phrase she actually used was 'advertising scum fucking bastards'. True, I did feel much the same when they used "My Generation" by the Who is an ice cream ad.

Labels: Music

Maybe getting here early will feed the fountainhead of creativity?

(The definition of the word Fountainhead. "The upper end of a confined-aquifer conduit, where it intersects the land surface." I have no idea what that means, but it sounds great.)

Ian Brown. Carling Academy, Birmingham. Friday 19th October 2007.



It was OK.

Yeah. I think that just about covers it.

It was a weird situation. I only got the ticket on a whim.

A little while ago, on a Friday, I was on a day off. I was in W. H. Smith flicking through the NME looking at the upcoming gigs, when I saw that the tickets for the Ian Brown tour were on sale that day. I went straight down to the Carling Academy, got a ticket and that was that. As time went by I started to question why I got the ticket. Except for the Stone Roses albums, I own no Ian Brown music. I quite liked some of his solo stuff, but not quite enough to buy any of it. (Not that I buy a lot of music anyway, these days.) So, why go? No reason. I just fancied it on that day.

Anyway, I went to the gig.

We got "I Wanna Be Adored" (a great classic), "Dolphins Were Monkeys" (I like that one), some horn driven groove stuff, "My Star" (good), "Corpses In Their Mouths" (good), something with sampled strings on it (OK), other stuff that made no impression, "I Am The Resurrection" (great), a couple of tracks from the new album that alo made no impression, and then I left during the encore, which was a new song which appeared to have exactly the same tune as "Fools Gold".

If it comes down to it, I suppose I was a bit bored.

One thing, though. A girl at work, who saw Ian Brown headlining at some festival or other, told me that he was the worst singer that she had ever seen live. She asked me if I had ever walked out of a gig. I said only the once. She said to expect to want to walk out of the Ian Brown gig. Well, he was not the best singer in the world, but he was in tune and wasn't too bad. I suppose there are worse singers about.

Here endeth the Ian Brown review. Now I just need to get the bloody Shuffleathon review done...

Labels: Music

Yesterday I had a day off work. I spent the whole day hoovering the house and cleaning the kitchen. Lorraine had said that there was a "smell" and that I should do something about it. After cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom I discovered that the smell was coming from bin.

The solution?

Empty the bin.

Yeah!

I had every intention yesterday of writing about the Roger Hodgson gig at the Symphony Hall, that I went to on Thursday night, but I had desperately important things to do. Yes. After being cleaning maid for the whole day, I watched TV from 7pm until 11:30pm. All good stuff, though. ("Scrubs", "Contact", Channel 4's "Comedy Showcase" and "Fonejacker".)

Anyway, Roger Hodgson.



Let me tell you what I know about the band Supertramp.

(Er... You know nothing about the band Supertramp.)

Yes, my whispering inner voice. You are quite correct. Until recently I couldn't even have told you who was in the band. My entire knowledge of Supertramp comes from the clutch of great singles that they released between 1974 and 1979. "Dreamer", "Give A Little Bit", "Breakfast In America", "It's Raining Again", "Goodbye Stranger", "Take The Long Way Home" and especially "The Logical Song". They may have made great albums, as well. I wouldn't know.

I first heard "The Logical Song" in 1979. Even then, as an ignorant 16 year old who, at the time, listened to nothing but the Beatles and New Wave, I remember thinking that on "The Logical Song" Supertramp were singing about something of a fundamental truth, that I wouldn't be able to grasp at that stage, but would understand when I got older. It was true, as well. I think that "The Logical Song" is one of the best songs of all time about that fabled thing 'the mid-life crisis', and is a song that still stands up today.

Re. the gig. With reservations, I really enjoyed it.

Roger Hodgson is still a brilliant singer and a consummate musician, whether on grand piano, electronic keyboards or acoustic guitar. It was a (nearly) solo unplugged set, except that there was another great musician onstage who played a variety of wind instruments, a little bit of keyboards and sang harmony vocals. Great songs, all the hits, crystal clear sound mix and, importantly, Roger Hodgson seemed to be having a really great time.

The problem was that for the majority of the gig the atmosphere was curiously bloodless and passionless. I don't know if it was down to the typical, apathetic Brummie Symphony Hall audience who were, without exception, white, well fed, middle class, middle aged, balding (the men), and spare tyred (the men and the women), whose days of showing real excitement at a gig were long behind them. I really couldn't say. After Roger Hodgson played "The Logical Song" (obviously) the excitement level did pick up, and by the second encore ("Give A Little Bit"), most of the audience were on their feet, and I was treated to the fine sight of a nice middle class lady in front of me dancing like a chicken (head going up and down - she was great), so it ended well.

So, it was a good gig, but a more enthusiastic audience could have made it better.

There I must leave it for the moment. Lorraine and I have been invited to a Dinner Party at Mad Harriet Quant's house. (Mad Marion was the bonkers receptionist at The Company who quit when The Corporation took over. A lady of principle. I took the piss out of Marion every day for 5 years. She never took offence and always referred to me as a 'Naughty Boy'. A lovely lady and it is going to be nice to see her again.) I have never been to a Dinner Party before. I feel like a barbarian at the gates. Do I drink red wine with my left or right hand? Is it OK to burp at the table? Is it good etiquette to stare at the cleavages of ladies who are wearing low cut tops? I will be strong, my friends. Don't worry. I will still be a rebel when I return. Like Steve McQueen.

My Shuflleathon 2007 CD arrived yesterday from unknown parts, but a quick email to Swiss Toni sorted out the mystery. (Cheers Swiss.) An interesting and rewarding listen (really), which is all I will say at this juncture, until I get the review down. Should be in the next day or two.

I have also seen "Control" today and I will write about that next time.

Labels: Chores, Music, Socialising

The thing is, when being a smart alec by giving clues as to the content of a CD that you are about to send to a lucky recipient, it is always good policy to pick the correct fucking CD.

So...

The lyrics yesterday were from

"The Greatest Compilation Album In The World, Volume 3"

which is the CD I have decided not to send out and not

"The Greatest Compilation Album In The World, Volume 4"

which is the CD I have sent out.

So, let's do this again.

"The're selling razor blades..."
"I used to live in New York City..."
"First there are kisses..."
"Bus ride is too slow..."
"He is a lonely man..."
"Come back to haunt me..."
"Risking it all in a glance..."
"... you were not impressed"
"... boy with bones like that"
"... too much for my nerves..."
"... buttering the toast..."
"It's been eight years since I left you..."

See. That was worth it wasn't it?

(Wanker.)

I have been to see "The Heartbreak Kid" starring Ben Stiller, but will write about that tomorrow. You know how it goes. Places to go, people to see.

(Yeah, I know. I am going to slump in front of the TV. Sue me.)

Labels: Music

Here's the thing.

Re. The Swiss Toni Shuffleathon 2007. Yer Pynch had considered quite a few songs. He had made his selection and had solved the tricky 'Track 11' problem. He had

"The Greatest Compilation Album In The World, Volume 3"

cut and ready to go. He was completely happy with his choices. The sun was out, birds were chirping in the trees, at work pretty girls with large chests smiled at him, and then...

Oh, for Pete's sake! Yer Pynch decided at the last minute to compile a completely different CD.

Oh, well...

"The Greatest Compilation Album In The World, Volume 4"

is cut and ready to go. It will be in the post tomorrow. I think that Volume 4 is a bit more of a serious and personal proposition than Volume 3, although I think both are pretty good collections. (I'm great, I am!)

Fancy some clues as to the content? Of course you do. I did the same thing last year. (It must be said, to wide disinterest, but I don't care about that.)

"Don't need candlelight..."
"I got an evil mind..."
"On a radio telescope..."
"I see you at night..."
"Listen to the silence..."
"If you want it..."
"For the call of thunder..."
"Bring out all the love you hide..."
"Sitting in my easy chair..."
"A million little memories..."
"How I really feel..."
"When I was boozing..."

And on that note, I am going to have a lie down.

Goodnight.

Labels: Music

I am busy.

Swiss Toni is doing another Shuffleathon. Of course this means that I am working long hours on the track listing for "The Greatest Compilation Album In The World, Volume 3".

(Eh? Volume 3? Assuming that the entry into last years Shuffleathon was Volume 1, surely it should be Volume 2? Well, yes. Volume 2 was sent to a friend in the States (Hi there Katy!), along with Volume 1, when the lady suggested a Cross Cultural Music Swap. Maybe Volume 2 will surface again one day. I don't know.)

Other than the obvious (12 tracks only) my only rule re. the Shuffleathon is that I do not repeat artistes or tracks.

It is frustrating, maddening and insanity. I have stopped eating. I have stopped sleeping. I have aged 20 years. Young children shun me in the street. Dogs sniff me suspiciously.

I am down to about a 1000 tracks. Only 988 to discard.

Damn you Swiss Toni!

Need it be said, it is great fun. If you fancy joining in, let the mighty Swiss know. The more merrier. There were 32 of us last year.

Labels: Music

A nice, easy 30 questions, just to get back into Blogging again. Courtesy of Mr. Planet.

1. If someone was to surprise you with a present right now, what would you like it to be? No idea. (Not a good start and not good enough an answer. I know. How about a women in nice underwear beckoning me from the door to the bedroom? That would be a nice present?
2. Are dimples REALLY attractive? It all depends on who they are attached to.
3. Don't you find it kinda creepy that "Santa is always watching you"? Do you mean Santa or do you mean Satan? Why the hell would either of them be watching me? So, no.
4. What was the last movie that made you cry? Not sure about a movie, but the last thing I watched that made me cry was the "School Reunion" episode of "Doctor Who" ; specifically the scene where the Doctor tells K-9 that he was a good dog and K-9 wags his tail. I am an utter wuss.
5. If you could make any of your physical attributes BIGGER would you? Maybe a couple of inches on my... height. Oh, yes. And a bigger cock. Obviously.
6. Do you eat the pizza crust? I rarely eat pizza, but yes.
7. How many soul mates does one person have? Just the one at a time, but the person changes.
8. If you had lunch with God, would you offer to pay? Of course I would.
9. Is there such a thing as an Unforgivable action? I would like to say 'No', but the proper answer is probably 'Yes'.
10. When was the last time you got spanked? I honestly cannot remember.
11. Name the last "classic" movie you watched? "Five Easy Pieces", but how do you define a classic?
12. If you HAD to move to a foreign country right this second, where? The United States Of America.
13. Do you like being alone? Yes, I do.
14. Does the forest scare you? No.
15. What would you rather be doing right now? Nothing in particular.
16. Have you ever talked about marriage with anyone? Yes, I have.
17. Who’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? Lorraine.
18. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? I cannot remember.
19. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed? Nothing in particular.
20. Describe 2007? A bad hardening of positions.
21. "Harry Potter", "Lord of the Rings" or "Star Wars"? If I had to choose I'd choose "Harry Potter", although I am not a huge fan.
22. Three Names You Go By? Pynchon, Pynchy or Love Machine. (I made one of those up.)
23. There was no number 23, so I'll make one up. Turn to your right. What do you see? The wall, but slightly to the right of that is the window and from that I can see into my neighbour's (the foxy Keren) garden. Her grass needs cutting. Obviously her parents have not visited recently.
24. What is your all-time favourite romance movie? Extremely difficult to choose, but I still really like "Somewhere In Time".
25. Whats your current problem? Finding a way to resurrect some kind of physical relationship with Lorraine. I know that it should not be the be all and end all of a relationship, but it is something and Lorraine doesn't seem to realise that.
26. Do you believe you truly love only once? No.
27. What song do you want to hear at your wedding? Haven't thought about it.
28. One of Your Scars, how did you get it? The scar on my knee I obtained by falling on gravel while running in a race at school.
29. What is your favourite smell? Chips. Chips are your friend. Chips are your buddy. Chips are good for you.
30. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? I could murder a cup of tea.

********

Yesterday I went to see "Eagle Vs Shark".

I have not read a single print review that has failed to mention "Eagle Vs Shark" without comparing it to the work of genius that was "Napolean Dynamite". It is kind of unfair, but expected, because both films deal with uber nerds, holding massively misguided high opinions of themselves, and possessing little, if no social skills.

"Eagle Vs Shark" is not bad, but it definitely is not as good as "Napoleon Dynamite". It is not as funny and doesn't have as many good jokes. It is slower, not as well paced and does not have as interesting a selection of supporting eccentrics and geeks. But... It is funny in parts and definitely has it's moments.

My favourite bits? Jarrod's constant taunting phone calls to his nemesis. The "Fool! Sucker! Foolish sucker!" and "Tell him... Justice is coming" bits are particularly funny. Duncan ("The greatest Hacker that I know"), his aberrant computer and cunning sources of information. Jarrod's party and the Fightman contest. Jarrod's training regime. Jarrod's final confrontation with the school bully who "Ruined my life!"

I enjoyed it for what it was. "Eagle Vs Shark" could have been an awful lot worse. I don't know how much of a recommendation that is, though, if you can only afford to see one film.

********

Last night we watched "The Lake House" on cable, starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Everything inside me screamed that it should have been the kind of film to make me want to pluck my eyes out, but I rather enjoyed it for the romantic slush that it was. This is despite the fact that it made no sense whatsoever and broke every single rule of cinematic time travel stories. (As did "A Sound Of Thunder" that we watched this afternoon. It's a piece of shit. You must seek it out and watch it.) Lorraine wept throughout "The Lake House". I think she appreciated the hankies I put by her chair.

After that, Lorraine went to bed and I, pissed as a fart and unable to move, watched a huge chunk of a programme on BBC3 called "The 50 Most Annoying Pop Moments" which was fairly annoying in itself. Really predictable, lazy targets like Pete Doherty's trilby, Peaches Geldof's DJ'ing skills, George Michael assignations on Hampstead Heath and Amy Winehouse liking for a drink, etc. One of the most annoying items was the selective bit on Joss Stone and her (apparent) UK career suicide appearance at the Brit Awards 2007.

You may have seen it. Poor Joss Stone, red of hair and short of skirt. The poor child obviously suffering from variable accent syndrome (all the way from Alabamamamama to Dorset via New York), either jet lagged or tripping on some unidentifiable substance, begged us to give "Big Love to Robbie Williams" and other such prime nuggets of drivel.

The talking arses (Donny Tourette, anyone?) on "The 50 Most Annoying Pop Moments" said that this was one of the prime causes for the recent chart failure of her records in the UK and indicated that her career may never recover. Might be true. I don't know. But they also failed to mention that her last album went straight in at #2 on the Billboard chart in the States and that, hey, why should she give a fuck about the UK music fans anyway? Her future, peddling her faux soul R'n'B tosh is in the States.

Nothing happened today. I had my hair cut so that I will look pretty for the Stones next week. We went into town. Lorraine bought clothes. It rained. We are going to watch "A Cock And Bull Story", later. Michael Winterbottom is a genius.

Labels: Mememe, Movies, Music, Television

I have a feeling that this week is just going to be one of those where I am conspicuous by my absence.

I definitely will not be here tomorrow night because we are going to see "The Bourne Ultimatum" at The Electric Cinema. It is a rare non-weekend visit to the cinema which, strangely enough, was Lorraine's idea. I think she just fancied a change to the normal boring routine. It will be an evening of drinks, nibbles, a comfy sofa seat (twenty four quid for the two of us!) and, hopefully, a really good film. I've liked both of the previous "Bourne" films a great deal, so I have high hopes.

I wasn't here last night because I didn't feel very well. It was all down to too much sweet food, drinks, ice cream and yogurt. I retired to my bed at about 9pm, played with my MP3 player (The Amen Corner, Andrea True Connection, Ash, Arthur Conley, The Backstreet Boys, The Bangles, The Bee Gees, The Boomtown Rats) and then watched the finale of "Cape Wrath" until way past midnight. (The ratings for "Cape Wrath" have dived over the past few weeks, but I've enjoyed every minute of it's cobbled together mix of "The Prisoner", "Twin Peaks" and "X-Files". And that Lucy Cohu....? Oooh, yes. I think so... Great final camera shot, as well).

********

Fancy a joke? Course you do.

A duck walks into a pub and orders a beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".

"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working", says the duck. "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly", says the barman, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?".

"I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.

Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The Ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the barman says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!".

"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!"

"Yeah?", says the duck. "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus", says the barman.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right", replies the barman.

"The circus?" the duck asks again.

"Yes" says the barman.

"That place with the big tent?" the duck enquires.

"Yeah" the barman replies.

"With all the animals?" the duck questioned.

"Of course" the barman replies.

"With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle", asks the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman

The duck looks confused.

"What the fuck would they want with a plasterer?"

********

And finally... I've always loved this song. Groovy.

Labels: Illness, Movies, Music, Television

I like this kind of game. Courtesy of Mr. Planet.

Set your iPod (or in my case Creative Zen Sleek MP3 player - there are other personal music players on the market, kids!) to shuffle. Play six songs. Write about each one.

Here we go.

"Tracy Jacks" by Blur from "The Mod Squad".

"The Mod Squad" was a bootleg of a gig that Blur did at the Aston Villa Leisure Centre in Birmingham on the 5th October 1994. If I remember rightly it was being recorded for broadcast on Radio 1. It might even have been going out live. I cannot remember.

I was at that gig! Pulp were the support band. They played "Common People" for the first time that night. Definite hit, I remember thinking at the time. As for Blur... I remember that Alex James smoked throughout the entire gig. Graham Coxon wore the tightest T-shirt I had ever seen. Damon Albarn was a bundle of energy - he never stopped moving. Dave Rowntree... er... drummed a bit. Really good gig. I jumped around a lot. They should put the recording out officially. It's a good record of how they were live at their peak. Lots of Damon clones (blonde hair and checked shirts, at that point) and over excited girls in audience. I was out of my head on booze and... other things. Sister 1 picked me up afterwards and the car broke down. A story for another time.

"Young Hearts Run Free" by Kim Mazelle from the "Romeo + Juliet Soundtrack".

Not as good as the original Candi Staton version, but I suppose it is OK. I really liked the film it came from, though. Di Caprio's finest moment except for "The Basketball Diaries".

"Finest Worksong (Mutual Drum Horn Mix)" by R.E.M. from "Eponymous".

The mix that was rejected for inclusion on "Document", but saved for single release and inclusion on the first greatest hits collection. In my humble opinion it pisses all over the version on "Document". I never liked the version on "Document", but this is great.

"Sophisticated Boom, Boom" by the Shangri-Las from "Shangri-Las Greatest Hits".

Sixties girl group genius. Lead singer Mary Weiss had a particularly brilliant teenage sounding voice. Sometimes yearning, sometimes pleading, sometimes stroppy, sometimes heartbroken. They were a brilliant pop group and made some great records. I hear that Mary Weiss has just released a solo album on which she is backed by a teenage garage band. I might try and get a hold of that one.

"California Earthquake" by the Mamas & The Papas from "Mamas & The Papas Greatest Hits".

The story goes that Cass Elliott auditioned lots of times to get into the Mamas & The Papas and John Phillips always turned her down because she couldn't hit a particular note. Then she banged her head in an accident, auditioned again and... could hit the note. Just goes to show. (Shows what exactly? Er... Don't know.) Cass Elliott was always a brilliant singer.

"Candle In The Wind" by Elton John from "Elton John: Greatest Hits 1970-2002".

This is the proper version. (1974 and about Marilyn Monroe. Not 1977 about Princess Di. I do not like the 1997 version very much, but I can respect that she was his friend and it was a heartfelt tribute to her.) It's a good song from the period when everything Elton John did turned to gold. I still kind of like him. Is that terribly uncool? Bollocks. I glory in my uncoolness.

Except for the last one, I didn't really write about the songs did I? Ah... Never mind.

********

I have been tagged by the lovely Katy. Here are the rules.

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Ready? Here we go. I am sure that everybody has heard all of this stuff before, but I may drag up something new. You never know.

1. I wear spectacles for close work, like reading, but only one of the lenses (the left, I think) is actually a lens. The other is just clear glass. I often read the newspaper on the bus without putting my glasses on and do not have any problems.
2. In my head I have always referred to my penis as a 'winky'. I do not know why, how or where the name came from. It has always been there. When writing about my 'winky' I always have to force a name change when writing it down to something more appropriate like 'Cock', 'Mr. Cucumber', 'Pink Torpedo' or 'Man Root'. Subtlety is the key word here.
3. I had Chickenpox in my early teens which, apparently, is quite late to contract it. I fainted out cold walking into the living room one morning and spots started developing all over my body while my Mom watched. I'm told that it completely freaked my Mom out. I was very, very ill and was off school for weeks and weeks. At the time it seemed like I watched every television program broadcast on UK television in 1976.
4. The first single I ever bought was "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles, which is the greatest single of all time.
5. At work I have a coffee in the morning and at lunchtime. The rest of the time at work I only drink water. It was a conscious decision because I read somewhere that coffee is ageing and dehydrating.
6. In times of trouble I dream about my Dad. My Dad died at 43, but in my dreams he has become an old man. He still looks good, though. He would have been 72 on 3rd April 2007. He talks to me and tells me, "You're doing OK, Son". I'm not, but that's my Dad for you.
7. I have a rare fingerprint called a whorl. All the male Pynchon's have the same type of fingerprint on the same fingers. I would bet money that my Granddad on my Dad's side had the same type of fingerprint. None of the Pynchon women have the fingerprint.
8. I sometimes write reviews for The Internet Movie Database. I don't think I am very good, but I enjoy doing it.

So, then. I tag

1. Graham.
2. Mr. Planet.
3. Stef.
4. Suburban Hen.
5. Doug.
6. Swiss Toni.
7. Ginny.
8. Threelights.

but you don't have to do it if you don't want to.

********

No film today because, after shopping for food, I got stuck into watching "The Thirty-Nine Steps" (Hitchcock's 1935 version) which I thoroughly enjoyed. Yes, it is old and creaky, but the script is sparkling. I reckon that if they shot exactly the same script today, with modern production values, and cast George Clooney as Richard Hannay, they would have a huge hit.

Or am I just in love with Big George in a gay way? Might be...

********

That's all for today. Bugger off...

Labels: Mememe, Movies, Music

"Scott Walker: 30 Century Man".



There is a great bit in "Scott Walker: 30 Century Man" in which self confessed Scott Walker obsessive/fan Marc Almond talks about his reaction to hearing "Tilt" for the first time. Marc explains that he was invited to an exclusive play of what was, at that time, the new album. He took his seat, with many other people, in reverential silence and then the event began. After listening to a couple of tracks, Marc turned to his friend and said

"This is terrible. This a really bad record. How embarrassing is this?"

(OK. For anybody who knows the film off by heart, and I'm sure that there will be a few, those are perhaps not the exact words that Marc Almond used, but I think I am pretty close.)

It was a great scene. A crucial scene, in fact, because prior to that we had been treated to a veritable galaxy of famous talking heads rhapsodising over Scott Walker's genius, his innovativeness, the depth and scope of his recordings and his progression away from anything resembling traditional pop music to something more akin to avant guard or even performance art. The pop singer Lulu kept it simple. She just wanted to know if Scott was still "gorgeous". Fair enough, I thought. (She toured with him in the Sixties when he was in the Walker Brothers.)

From the snippets of music in the film, and they were only snippets, I am not at all sure if I like Scott Walker's later music or not. I might... because it is like nothing you will ever hear, and I quite like the idea of that.

Therein lies the mystery of Scott Walker. His current work is impossible to pigeonhole and you cannot assume that you will like his current work based on his past work, because it is so completely different. I did like the Walker Brothers singles. I did like those early great, soaring, orchestrated solo records, some of which Julian Cope dismisses in the film as "M.O.R slop". Above all Scott Walker was, and still is, a brilliant vocalist.

But about the film...

This is a really good documentary. It's the full story from jobbing bass player on the Sunset Strip, teeny bop stardom with the Walker Brothers, solo success, solo and critical confusion, solo failure and extreme solo experimentation. There are lots and lots of clips, and some rare archive interview footage including Scott on mid 80's yoof show "The Tube", which is kind of hilarious in itself because of the dreadful video clip that was made to promote the single he had out at that time. (No idea what that was called.) Current interview footage shows Scott as shy, self effacing and (shock horror!) kind of normal. He also laughs a lot when recording, which was a bit of a surprise.

Good film.

Interestingly enough, the ear worm working away at my brain when I left the cinema was "Make It Easy On Yourself". Hell, there's nothing like a good pop tune. Maybe the most radical thing Scott could do now would be to record a pop album. Now that would be shocking...

Labels: Movies, Music