Pynchon

I have a feeling that this week is just going to be one of those where I am conspicuous by my absence.

I definitely will not be here tomorrow night because we are going to see "The Bourne Ultimatum" at The Electric Cinema. It is a rare non-weekend visit to the cinema which, strangely enough, was Lorraine's idea. I think she just fancied a change to the normal boring routine. It will be an evening of drinks, nibbles, a comfy sofa seat (twenty four quid for the two of us!) and, hopefully, a really good film. I've liked both of the previous "Bourne" films a great deal, so I have high hopes.

I wasn't here last night because I didn't feel very well. It was all down to too much sweet food, drinks, ice cream and yogurt. I retired to my bed at about 9pm, played with my MP3 player (The Amen Corner, Andrea True Connection, Ash, Arthur Conley, The Backstreet Boys, The Bangles, The Bee Gees, The Boomtown Rats) and then watched the finale of "Cape Wrath" until way past midnight. (The ratings for "Cape Wrath" have dived over the past few weeks, but I've enjoyed every minute of it's cobbled together mix of "The Prisoner", "Twin Peaks" and "X-Files". And that Lucy Cohu....? Oooh, yes. I think so... Great final camera shot, as well).

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Fancy a joke? Course you do.

A duck walks into a pub and orders a beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".

"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working", says the duck. "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly", says the barman, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?".

"I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.

Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The Ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the barman says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!".

"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!"

"Yeah?", says the duck. "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus", says the barman.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right", replies the barman.

"The circus?" the duck asks again.

"Yes" says the barman.

"That place with the big tent?" the duck enquires.

"Yeah" the barman replies.

"With all the animals?" the duck questioned.

"Of course" the barman replies.

"With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle", asks the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman

The duck looks confused.

"What the fuck would they want with a plasterer?"

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And finally... I've always loved this song. Groovy.

Labels: Illness, Movies, Music, Television