Pynchon

A nice, easy 30 questions, just to get back into Blogging again. Courtesy of Mr. Planet.

1. If someone was to surprise you with a present right now, what would you like it to be? No idea. (Not a good start and not good enough an answer. I know. How about a women in nice underwear beckoning me from the door to the bedroom? That would be a nice present?
2. Are dimples REALLY attractive? It all depends on who they are attached to.
3. Don't you find it kinda creepy that "Santa is always watching you"? Do you mean Santa or do you mean Satan? Why the hell would either of them be watching me? So, no.
4. What was the last movie that made you cry? Not sure about a movie, but the last thing I watched that made me cry was the "School Reunion" episode of "Doctor Who" ; specifically the scene where the Doctor tells K-9 that he was a good dog and K-9 wags his tail. I am an utter wuss.
5. If you could make any of your physical attributes BIGGER would you? Maybe a couple of inches on my... height. Oh, yes. And a bigger cock. Obviously.
6. Do you eat the pizza crust? I rarely eat pizza, but yes.
7. How many soul mates does one person have? Just the one at a time, but the person changes.
8. If you had lunch with God, would you offer to pay? Of course I would.
9. Is there such a thing as an Unforgivable action? I would like to say 'No', but the proper answer is probably 'Yes'.
10. When was the last time you got spanked? I honestly cannot remember.
11. Name the last "classic" movie you watched? "Five Easy Pieces", but how do you define a classic?
12. If you HAD to move to a foreign country right this second, where? The United States Of America.
13. Do you like being alone? Yes, I do.
14. Does the forest scare you? No.
15. What would you rather be doing right now? Nothing in particular.
16. Have you ever talked about marriage with anyone? Yes, I have.
17. Who’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? Lorraine.
18. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? I cannot remember.
19. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed? Nothing in particular.
20. Describe 2007? A bad hardening of positions.
21. "Harry Potter", "Lord of the Rings" or "Star Wars"? If I had to choose I'd choose "Harry Potter", although I am not a huge fan.
22. Three Names You Go By? Pynchon, Pynchy or Love Machine. (I made one of those up.)
23. There was no number 23, so I'll make one up. Turn to your right. What do you see? The wall, but slightly to the right of that is the window and from that I can see into my neighbour's (the foxy Keren) garden. Her grass needs cutting. Obviously her parents have not visited recently.
24. What is your all-time favourite romance movie? Extremely difficult to choose, but I still really like "Somewhere In Time".
25. Whats your current problem? Finding a way to resurrect some kind of physical relationship with Lorraine. I know that it should not be the be all and end all of a relationship, but it is something and Lorraine doesn't seem to realise that.
26. Do you believe you truly love only once? No.
27. What song do you want to hear at your wedding? Haven't thought about it.
28. One of Your Scars, how did you get it? The scar on my knee I obtained by falling on gravel while running in a race at school.
29. What is your favourite smell? Chips. Chips are your friend. Chips are your buddy. Chips are good for you.
30. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? I could murder a cup of tea.

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Yesterday I went to see "Eagle Vs Shark".

I have not read a single print review that has failed to mention "Eagle Vs Shark" without comparing it to the work of genius that was "Napolean Dynamite". It is kind of unfair, but expected, because both films deal with uber nerds, holding massively misguided high opinions of themselves, and possessing little, if no social skills.

"Eagle Vs Shark" is not bad, but it definitely is not as good as "Napoleon Dynamite". It is not as funny and doesn't have as many good jokes. It is slower, not as well paced and does not have as interesting a selection of supporting eccentrics and geeks. But... It is funny in parts and definitely has it's moments.

My favourite bits? Jarrod's constant taunting phone calls to his nemesis. The "Fool! Sucker! Foolish sucker!" and "Tell him... Justice is coming" bits are particularly funny. Duncan ("The greatest Hacker that I know"), his aberrant computer and cunning sources of information. Jarrod's party and the Fightman contest. Jarrod's training regime. Jarrod's final confrontation with the school bully who "Ruined my life!"

I enjoyed it for what it was. "Eagle Vs Shark" could have been an awful lot worse. I don't know how much of a recommendation that is, though, if you can only afford to see one film.

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Last night we watched "The Lake House" on cable, starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Everything inside me screamed that it should have been the kind of film to make me want to pluck my eyes out, but I rather enjoyed it for the romantic slush that it was. This is despite the fact that it made no sense whatsoever and broke every single rule of cinematic time travel stories. (As did "A Sound Of Thunder" that we watched this afternoon. It's a piece of shit. You must seek it out and watch it.) Lorraine wept throughout "The Lake House". I think she appreciated the hankies I put by her chair.

After that, Lorraine went to bed and I, pissed as a fart and unable to move, watched a huge chunk of a programme on BBC3 called "The 50 Most Annoying Pop Moments" which was fairly annoying in itself. Really predictable, lazy targets like Pete Doherty's trilby, Peaches Geldof's DJ'ing skills, George Michael assignations on Hampstead Heath and Amy Winehouse liking for a drink, etc. One of the most annoying items was the selective bit on Joss Stone and her (apparent) UK career suicide appearance at the Brit Awards 2007.

You may have seen it. Poor Joss Stone, red of hair and short of skirt. The poor child obviously suffering from variable accent syndrome (all the way from Alabamamamama to Dorset via New York), either jet lagged or tripping on some unidentifiable substance, begged us to give "Big Love to Robbie Williams" and other such prime nuggets of drivel.

The talking arses (Donny Tourette, anyone?) on "The 50 Most Annoying Pop Moments" said that this was one of the prime causes for the recent chart failure of her records in the UK and indicated that her career may never recover. Might be true. I don't know. But they also failed to mention that her last album went straight in at #2 on the Billboard chart in the States and that, hey, why should she give a fuck about the UK music fans anyway? Her future, peddling her faux soul R'n'B tosh is in the States.

Nothing happened today. I had my hair cut so that I will look pretty for the Stones next week. We went into town. Lorraine bought clothes. It rained. We are going to watch "A Cock And Bull Story", later. Michael Winterbottom is a genius.

Labels: Mememe, Movies, Music, Television