Thursday, January 03, 2008
Yesterday, I changed the world. Did you notice?
You didn't notice?!?
How rude. I wish I hadn't bothered. So disappointing...
Anyway, I have a joke.
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant. A gorgeous redhead enters the restaurant alone and sits at the next table. The man considers engaging the redhead in conversation, but as he is a little bit shy, he decides against it.
Suddenly, the redhead sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. Instinctively he reaches, grabs the eye out of the air and coolly hands it back to the redhead.
"Oh my, I am so sorry" the woman says, mortified, as she pops the eye back into
place. "May I buy you dinner to make it up to you?"
The man and the redhead enjoy a wonderful dinner. Afterwards they go to the theatre, followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens carefully to everything he has to say. She smiles a lot.
After paying for everything, the redhead asks the man if he would like to come to her place for a night cap and, possibly, stay for breakfast. He says yes.
Of course, they have a wonderful time.
The next morning, the redhead cooks a gourmet meal with all of the trimmings. The man is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible and SO amazing!
"You know", says the man. "You really are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy that you meet?"
"No", she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
(At this point in the proceedings Yer Pynchon would like to apologize to any one eyed ladies who might be reading. I am sure that you are all very lovely indeed.)
Re. New Year resolutions. I try not to get involved in such nonsense, but despite my better judgement, I did make a small resolution to myself on New Years Eve. That is, illness and holiday permitting, to try to post to the blog everyday. Hah! That resolution didn't last very long, did it? One post. Pathetic.
I do have an excuse. I was tired. For the first time whilst working at The Corporation I allowed myself to be put onto the early morning rota. Lorraine said that I would like enjoy the new experience.
So it was that I found myself staggering, shell shocked, from my bed at 4:50am, at the bus stop at 6:05am, at work at 6:40am and pretending to do some work at 7:00am. True, I was gone from the office by 3:30pm, and with a convenient lift home organised with somebody leaving the office at the same time as me, was in my house and drinking a nice cup of Kenya at 4:05pm. But by 8pm... Oh, dear, I did feel tired, which is why I got this post started nice and early.
No complaints, though. I only have to do this for a couple of days and my next set of early hours is months away. There are people who have to do these kind of hours all of the time and get home late. Respect to them. My Dad was a Dustman for more than 25 years and he used to go to get to the depot for 6am every day using public transport. I do not remember ever seeing him in the mornings, except at weekends. I have no idea how he managed without the sleep. He used to go out every night. To the pub. To the cinema with me. A force of nature. That was my Dad. Massive energy. Amazing man.
You didn't notice?!?
How rude. I wish I hadn't bothered. So disappointing...
Anyway, I have a joke.
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant. A gorgeous redhead enters the restaurant alone and sits at the next table. The man considers engaging the redhead in conversation, but as he is a little bit shy, he decides against it.
Suddenly, the redhead sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. Instinctively he reaches, grabs the eye out of the air and coolly hands it back to the redhead.
"Oh my, I am so sorry" the woman says, mortified, as she pops the eye back into
place. "May I buy you dinner to make it up to you?"
The man and the redhead enjoy a wonderful dinner. Afterwards they go to the theatre, followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens carefully to everything he has to say. She smiles a lot.
After paying for everything, the redhead asks the man if he would like to come to her place for a night cap and, possibly, stay for breakfast. He says yes.
Of course, they have a wonderful time.
The next morning, the redhead cooks a gourmet meal with all of the trimmings. The man is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible and SO amazing!
"You know", says the man. "You really are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy that you meet?"
"No", she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."
(At this point in the proceedings Yer Pynchon would like to apologize to any one eyed ladies who might be reading. I am sure that you are all very lovely indeed.)
Re. New Year resolutions. I try not to get involved in such nonsense, but despite my better judgement, I did make a small resolution to myself on New Years Eve. That is, illness and holiday permitting, to try to post to the blog everyday. Hah! That resolution didn't last very long, did it? One post. Pathetic.
I do have an excuse. I was tired. For the first time whilst working at The Corporation I allowed myself to be put onto the early morning rota. Lorraine said that I would like enjoy the new experience.
So it was that I found myself staggering, shell shocked, from my bed at 4:50am, at the bus stop at 6:05am, at work at 6:40am and pretending to do some work at 7:00am. True, I was gone from the office by 3:30pm, and with a convenient lift home organised with somebody leaving the office at the same time as me, was in my house and drinking a nice cup of Kenya at 4:05pm. But by 8pm... Oh, dear, I did feel tired, which is why I got this post started nice and early.
No complaints, though. I only have to do this for a couple of days and my next set of early hours is months away. There are people who have to do these kind of hours all of the time and get home late. Respect to them. My Dad was a Dustman for more than 25 years and he used to go to get to the depot for 6am every day using public transport. I do not remember ever seeing him in the mornings, except at weekends. I have no idea how he managed without the sleep. He used to go out every night. To the pub. To the cinema with me. A force of nature. That was my Dad. Massive energy. Amazing man.
Labels: Humour, Knackered, New Year, The Corporation
# posted by Pynchon @ 5:32 pm 
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I am similarly lacking in sleep, but for no good reason other than I can't seem to sleep at night and then I muddle through my day wanting to do nothing but crawl back into bed.
Here's hoping that your couple of days doing the early morning thing go by quickly!
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Here's hoping that your couple of days doing the early morning thing go by quickly!
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