Monday, August 06, 2007
- Do you like asparagus?
Yes I do, even though it tends to makes the wee smell a bit strong. I once read an interview with the adult filmmaker Steve Perry, better known as Ben Dover, who said that eating asparagus is a definite no-no if you are a professional porn actor. You have to think of your fellow performers. - Do you have a middle name?
Yes I do. Today it is Manroot. - Do cats frustrate you as pets or do you admire their independence?
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Ben was the greatest cat in the world, although he showed both Lorraine and myself utter indifference most of the time. The time he didn't was when he wanted to be fed. - Did you ever break a guys nose?
Don't think so. No. - Would you say you won more fights than you've lost?
Probably not. - Was there a time when you were mystified by the workings of your penis?
Probably not, but the first actual orgasm was a nice surprise. The theory wasn't as nice as the practice. - Do you look like your mother or your father?
I am the spitting image of my Dad. - Did you date an older woman that you'd consider an older woman and what did she teach you?
Lorraine is older than me by 3 years and is the only older woman I have slept with. I think that she is a bit of a prude. Next question. - What's your first image of the female body?
The face. No, really! The face. I swear it, Guvnor. - Does the respect factor drop when a woman has breast implants?
Not at all. So a woman wants big tits? Big deal! Good for her, if she wants them, can afford them and it makes her happy. - Do you like Roller Coasters?
Not particularly. Not really thought about them. - What do you imagine happens to someone after the body dies?
They disintegrate. I hope in my heart that there is a heaven and that one day I will see my Dad again, and meet my Grandparents, but I don't really believe it will happen. - Do you believe that you are a spirit with a body or just a brain?
Just a brain. - Did the female anatomy every mystify and scare you?
No, but a beautiful woman is a thing to cherish. - Have you ever been caught in a natural disaster?
No, touch wood. - Did you ever own Birkenstocks?
No fucking way. - Did you ever fall in love with an animal in a way where you wish you could talk like human friends?
Yes. My Dog was the greatest Dog in the whole wide world. I would have liked to have heard his voice and had a chat with him. - Do you feel we are all potentially Christlike?
No. Some people are just born shit with no redeeming features. - Do you have hope for humanity?
Yes, I do. I am an optimist. - If not, how can you keep going in the face of that hopelessness?
I repeat. I am an optimist.
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On Saturday I went with my Brother to watch Aston Villa Vs. Inter Milan. We won 3-0. It was a great occasion and a great day out. All the more sweeter because my Brother assured me that we were going to be on the end of a spanking by the Italian champions, and by a mile. This was from the world's greatest Villa fan.
We might have had a brew or two to celebrate. In fact, I seem to vaguely remember that we did have a brew or two.
Of course it is early days. The Villa won well, but it was only a friendly, and I'm told that Inter Milan did not have their strongest side out. We still do not have strength in depth. When injuries start to mount up we are going to struggle, unless we buy pretty soon. But you know what? It doesn't matter.
We beat fucking Inter Milan! Manchester United did not manage to do that.
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No movies at the cinema this weekend. The sun was out, Lorraine wanted to go into the city centre to buy a DS Lite and all was right with the world. For the first post weekend in an age I don't feel like I have missed anything.
