Friday, May 18, 2007

 
I have a very sore throat. I have had it all day. It's what comes from singing at the top of your voice and pogoing for two hours, after drinking lots of alcohol. I don't mind. It's the mark of a good time. But I might curtail this post, shortly. I should get some rest, but I will write until midnight.

So, where was I? Oh, yes. Eurovision. (As I said before, only a week late, but never mind.)

We were in the canteen last Monday and I asked the following question.

"So, Eurovision? Where did we go wrong?" (We came second from last. I thought it was funny.)

Somebody replied, "Eurovision? Are you fucking gay or something?"

And I said, "I might be...", winked at them and left it at that. I like to fuck with the homophobes in The Company. Not literally, mind.

(By the way, I'm not gay. Or at least I don't think I'm gay. The thought doesn't disgust me, or anything, but when I fantasise or milk the beast (ahem), it's women that I'm thinking about. Maybe I just haven't met the right boy yet?)

Eurovision gets some very strong reactions in this country. A lot of people hate it. They say that it has got nothing to do with songs anymore. I think that those people really should pull themselves together, take a pill and have a lie down, because they really are missing the point.

I love Eurovision. I am unapologetic in my love for Eurovision. If I can (the last one I missed was 1997, coincidentally the last time the UK won - drat!) I watch it every year. Lorraine tolerates this. She thinks that Eurovision is utter shite. I love the political voting (the Baltic states vote for each other, so do the Eastern Bloc and ex-Soviet Union countries, the Western European countries don't, silly buggers), daft costumes, the silly dance routines and the songs, good and bad. I love the campness, the over the top presenters, Terry Wogan's increasingly sarcastic commentary, the colour, the energy and the special effects. I think that it is totally dreadful and totally entertaining.

The UK's entry this year was "Flying The Flag" was Scooch. To be honest, not a masterpiece, but it should have done better than second from last spot. What's wrong with an entertaining slice of Euro Gay Disco/Pop with a great chorus and a guy offering you some "salted nuts" or "something to suck on"? Nothing, that's what. It was certainly better than the Ukraine entry (sung by Verka Serduchka, who was a Su Pollard/Christopher Biggins genetically spliced transvestite mutation) and that came second.

My favourites were Sweden's entry, the glam rock stomp of "The Worrying Kind" performed by a band called The Ark, who sounded not unlike a cross between the Bay City Rollers and The Sweet; the Evanescence style rock of Finland's entry "Leave Me Alone" fronted by Hanna Pakarinen, who was apparently the winner of Finland's "Pop Idol" and the Russian entry "Song #1" fronted by the not-unattractive girl band Serebro, who all seemed to be dressed as schoolgirls, or was that just wishful thinking on my part?



Serbia won with "Molitva", performed by Marija ŠERIFOVIĆ, who Mark has described on his blog as looking like a "wonky K D Lang" and he is absolutely right. Gotta say it, I know Mark liked it, but that song made no impression on me whatsoever.

There were some over excited commentators on Monday morning bemoaning our lack of success and saying that the UK should think about pulling out. Nonsense, and it's not going to happen. Eurovision is a rating winner. At it's peak on Saturday night it got close to 10.5 million viewers, which is more than the ratings hit "Doctor Who" generally gets (and I love "Doctor Who"). Malta seem to be particularly pissed off and want an investigation into voting irregularities in the Eastern European countries. Personally I think that sooner or later a jury system will return, with each country having a jury pick their favourite songs, rather than the population of that country. Unfair, maybe, but that way you might get a wider range of countries winning.

Time for bed. Meatloaf, From The Jam (Rick Buckler and Bruce Foxton) and "28 Weeks Later", tomorrow.

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Comments:
i thought the Serbian entry was dreadful... Ukraine's was fantastique though..
 
Can't say that I've ever seen the point or been a fan of Eurovision. Didn't Abba win it, once, long long ago?
 
Eurovision is supposed to be crap. It's only the rest of Europe that doesn't get that.
 
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