Pynchon

I've just re-read my last post. From that post you might have inferred that I was finished with the blog, that I had had enough and I was on my way. No, such luck I'm afraid. After a short period in which I made love to a beautiful woman, got screaming drunk, told my manager Orville Turd that my pay review was "shit" and "appalling" and "disgusting" and that departmental manager James Cunt was a "fat", er, "cunt", told the rest of the office the same, had a puff or two on some ganja, I'm feeling on top of the world.

I did try to post on Thursday night after watching "The Eleventh Hour" (this week Ashley Jensen had a shower scene, but sadly didn't show anything, Boo! Hiss!), but Blogger was fucking about, so I gave up. Instead I haunted various message boards on the net causing misery and distress wherever I landed.

Friday afternoon we got the annual pay insult. I am proud to announce that as of the end of the month I will be taking home approximately twenty quid more a month. That converts to 35.46USD, 40.65CAD, 47.18AUD, 217.79ZAR a month, for those that are interested. Frankly, it is fucking rubbish. I am worth more. They know it and I know it. Percentage wise Lorraine got a little more than me, but she is also worth more. Lorraine works harder than me, puts in longer hours and is more dedicated. (During her review she told James Cunt that she would be interested in going for Orville Turd's job. He seemed taken aback by her brazen ambition.) They told me that I was lucky, as some people did not get any pay increase. (Apparently mostly programmers and developers. I am rubbing my two fingers together and playing the world's smallest violin, just for them.) I told Orville Turd that they were taking the piss thinking that I would be happy with twenty quid a month more, and that I would be considering my position over the weekend.

There are dark rumours that a takeover of the Company is imminent. Bring on that happy day, but I hope to have left first.

Last night we showed our faces at Freddie Broad's 40th birthday drink at The Station in Sutton Coldfield. We couldn't stay long, because I had agreed to work half day on Saturday, but we stayed long enough for me to get very drunk, smoke a bit of an interesting substance and watch two blokes at another table intently because the one of them was an albino and the spitting image of legendary DJ Jimmy Saville, and the other looked like a 1970's Open University lecturer. Heroes, I suppose.

I went to work this morning. I was slightly under the weather, I suppose, but the guy working with me did not notice. Afterwards the guy gave me a lift into town. He had the Ordinary Boys album on in the car. They sounded very Jam/Clash/New Wavey. I liked it.

In town I bought some food and also the N.M.E. for the first time in about 5 years. The N.M.E. listed what they thought were the top 100 British albums of all time. Interestingly enough I own 7 out of the 10 albums in the top 10. (I'm cool!) "The Stone Roses" album was number 1.

When I finally got home Lorraine jumped on me just as I got into the house and said that I must buy the Arctic Monkey's album for her. This was a surprise. To my knowledge the last album Lorraine ever purchased was "The Game" by the Osmonds, circa 1972. ("The Game" is apparently very good and contains the mighty "Crazy Horses".) I asked Lorraine why she wanted the Arctic Monkey's album and she said that she was "Intrigued by them" and mumbled something about the Chris Evans Show on Radio 2. Oh. That's OK, then.

I have not heard so much as a note of the Arctic Monkey's music. I know that they are getting a lot of hype at present. Good band? Bad band? Anybody care to comment? It doesn't really matter. I am going to buy it anyway. Interesting enough, for a band that only released their album on 23rd January 2006, the album is in the top 10 of the 100 best British albums of all time in this weeks N.M.E. Slightly premature, perhaps?

Gotta go. A hot woman awaits. I'll be back tomorrow for more fun and frolics.