Thursday, May 10, 2007
At the bus stop this morning Red turned up with a man. The two of them were obviously a couple. I could tell from the body language. Red sat with her back to the road, legs slightly apart, while he leaned in towards her. They were intent on each other, but she is a nice girl and nodded "hello" to me.
Red wore black pumps, blue pinstripe trousers, white frilly blouse, some kind of red checked waistcoat, purple jacket and white beads. Her hair was tied back with elastic bands in a ponytail. She was carrying a big funky brown bag, attached to which was a keyring with the name "Jenny" written on it.
(Ah... Watson. I deduct that her name is Jenny Red, then.)
(Ah... Holmes. You are such a twat.)
The fashionistas might have something to say about the colour coordination of the outfit, but knowing nothing about fashion I thought that Red looked a million dollars. A true transformation from how she presented herself before Wednesday, 13th September 2006. (Look up the date, if you are interested.)
Red has kept it up. She looked happy. Things can change.
My question is this.
Does the fact that I went out this morning, walked into a situation, thought it was interesting, decided that I wanted to remember everything (clothes, colours, etc.), mentally noted it, came back here hours later, sat down and wrote it all up, make me a voyeur?
I think the above little sketch was fairly innocent stuff, but I am becoming aware that I don't know when to stop. Do I, under the mask of anonymity, have the right to write about anything that I like? I'm not sure that I do. Would Red want me telling the world about her?
I'm not sure about this Blogging thing at all, anymore. Have I given away everything about myself (except for my real name, although some of you know what that is) for the sake of entertainment? Am I no better than someone like Kerry Katona or Elton John, who are always willing to talk about their latest drug/booze/sex addiction? Have they no shame? Don't they know what a private life is? Don't I know what a private life is? Don't I care about exposing other people's private lives to the world at large?
Lorraine would leave me tomorrow if she ever found out some of the things that I have written about her.
I just realised why I started the blog. I wanted to tell it how it is. How it is to me, at least. Anonymously. No comebacks. That is all ruined when you start to build personal relationships with people you have met over the Internet. At that point the mechanics of the blog changes. It becomes more of a message board. You start to have to deal with personal embaressment. Some of these people have met you and they know you.
Maybe I should never have started leaving comments on other blogs? Maybe I should never have reached out to people?
Confused post. Sorry.
It's a hurting time. Lorraine and I had our big chat a couple of nights ago. It has cleared the air, but it was a painful experience for both of us. I'm still trying to put together in my head exactly what was said, because I want it to be accurate when I finally write it up. It won't be tonight.
At work Lorraine has put her foot down with me, for my own good, and forced me to relinquish control of supporting the old product. After a handover tomorrow to the last of the programmers dealing with the old product (Hi there Gay Harry, of the luxurious moustache!), I will be dealing with the new product. She said that it will potentially secure my position during the uproar to come. She may well be right.
I think that Lorraine still cares.
Red wore black pumps, blue pinstripe trousers, white frilly blouse, some kind of red checked waistcoat, purple jacket and white beads. Her hair was tied back with elastic bands in a ponytail. She was carrying a big funky brown bag, attached to which was a keyring with the name "Jenny" written on it.
(Ah... Watson. I deduct that her name is Jenny Red, then.)
(Ah... Holmes. You are such a twat.)
The fashionistas might have something to say about the colour coordination of the outfit, but knowing nothing about fashion I thought that Red looked a million dollars. A true transformation from how she presented herself before Wednesday, 13th September 2006. (Look up the date, if you are interested.)
Red has kept it up. She looked happy. Things can change.
My question is this.
Does the fact that I went out this morning, walked into a situation, thought it was interesting, decided that I wanted to remember everything (clothes, colours, etc.), mentally noted it, came back here hours later, sat down and wrote it all up, make me a voyeur?
I think the above little sketch was fairly innocent stuff, but I am becoming aware that I don't know when to stop. Do I, under the mask of anonymity, have the right to write about anything that I like? I'm not sure that I do. Would Red want me telling the world about her?
I'm not sure about this Blogging thing at all, anymore. Have I given away everything about myself (except for my real name, although some of you know what that is) for the sake of entertainment? Am I no better than someone like Kerry Katona or Elton John, who are always willing to talk about their latest drug/booze/sex addiction? Have they no shame? Don't they know what a private life is? Don't I know what a private life is? Don't I care about exposing other people's private lives to the world at large?
Lorraine would leave me tomorrow if she ever found out some of the things that I have written about her.
I just realised why I started the blog. I wanted to tell it how it is. How it is to me, at least. Anonymously. No comebacks. That is all ruined when you start to build personal relationships with people you have met over the Internet. At that point the mechanics of the blog changes. It becomes more of a message board. You start to have to deal with personal embaressment. Some of these people have met you and they know you.
Maybe I should never have started leaving comments on other blogs? Maybe I should never have reached out to people?
Confused post. Sorry.
It's a hurting time. Lorraine and I had our big chat a couple of nights ago. It has cleared the air, but it was a painful experience for both of us. I'm still trying to put together in my head exactly what was said, because I want it to be accurate when I finally write it up. It won't be tonight.
At work Lorraine has put her foot down with me, for my own good, and forced me to relinquish control of supporting the old product. After a handover tomorrow to the last of the programmers dealing with the old product (Hi there Gay Harry, of the luxurious moustache!), I will be dealing with the new product. She said that it will potentially secure my position during the uproar to come. She may well be right.
I think that Lorraine still cares.
Labels: Bloggers, Thoughts, Work
# posted by Pynchon @ 10:11 pm 
Comments:
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Pynchon, god bless you. I know it took a lot of courage to talk to Lorraine. You'll feel better soon, just for getting it all out. And I feel similarly about blogging sometimes, but as long as it's fun or serves some purpose (if only getting things off your chest), why not keep going?
Totally.
Some times you need a forum to get things off your chest and discuss things before you can in the real world.
I'm sure Jenny Red wouldn't give a toss about being discussed here; even those who know the real you wouldn't be able to identify her from your descriptions. There's nothing weird about discussing the people you meet, that's what makes blogs fun!
Some times you need a forum to get things off your chest and discuss things before you can in the real world.
I'm sure Jenny Red wouldn't give a toss about being discussed here; even those who know the real you wouldn't be able to identify her from your descriptions. There's nothing weird about discussing the people you meet, that's what makes blogs fun!
Dear John,
(Erm, no, that doesn't sound nice, does it?)
Glad to hear that you've had the dreaded chat. Here's to you no matter what the outcome.
Regarding blogging anonymity, I am similarly vexed by the issue. Friends and relatives read my blog, which means I must be circumspect about some of the things I say - like not being critical of said friends or relatives. If I can't be critical to their face, it's unfair to be critical in my blog. Also, the places I talk about visiting actually exist, so I also need to be careful about what I reveal.
Sometimes I feel I would like to start all over again anonymously - but then I might lose the few readers I already have (excluding said friends and family).
Yours sincerely,
Confused.
(Erm, no, that doesn't sound nice, does it?)
Glad to hear that you've had the dreaded chat. Here's to you no matter what the outcome.
Regarding blogging anonymity, I am similarly vexed by the issue. Friends and relatives read my blog, which means I must be circumspect about some of the things I say - like not being critical of said friends or relatives. If I can't be critical to their face, it's unfair to be critical in my blog. Also, the places I talk about visiting actually exist, so I also need to be careful about what I reveal.
Sometimes I feel I would like to start all over again anonymously - but then I might lose the few readers I already have (excluding said friends and family).
Yours sincerely,
Confused.
Does the fact that I went out this morning, walked into a situation, thought it was interesting, decided that I wanted to remember everything (clothes, colours, etc.), mentally noted it, came back here hours later, sat down and wrote it all up, make me a voyeur?
No. It makes you a writer. That's what writers do... close observation for later recollection, even when we don't know we're doing it. It doesn't make you a voyeur. At least, that's what I tell myself... perhaps we writers are all voyeurs to some degree.
As for the Blogging thing, I sort of know what you mean. None of my friends or family know about my blog, and it's not that I keep it a secret... it's just not something that comes up in conversation. If people from my daily life were reading it, though, I'd definitely feel restricted. However, I knew many of my regular readers before I started blogging... through an online forum that I consider my Internet Home. And I have met several of them in person and consider many of them friends. Even close friends. But somehow, I don't mind them reading my blog in the same way that I would if a friend from my daily life was reading it. It's odd... almost like people from the Internet are always people from the Internet, even when you know them well. I don't mind sharing whatever I share on my blog because it is my space, and I'll damned well write whatever I want to write on it. But if friends and loved ones were reading it, it would be different.
So I think I'm confused about it all too. But I don't think I'd change anything about it.
No. It makes you a writer. That's what writers do... close observation for later recollection, even when we don't know we're doing it. It doesn't make you a voyeur. At least, that's what I tell myself... perhaps we writers are all voyeurs to some degree.
As for the Blogging thing, I sort of know what you mean. None of my friends or family know about my blog, and it's not that I keep it a secret... it's just not something that comes up in conversation. If people from my daily life were reading it, though, I'd definitely feel restricted. However, I knew many of my regular readers before I started blogging... through an online forum that I consider my Internet Home. And I have met several of them in person and consider many of them friends. Even close friends. But somehow, I don't mind them reading my blog in the same way that I would if a friend from my daily life was reading it. It's odd... almost like people from the Internet are always people from the Internet, even when you know them well. I don't mind sharing whatever I share on my blog because it is my space, and I'll damned well write whatever I want to write on it. But if friends and loved ones were reading it, it would be different.
So I think I'm confused about it all too. But I don't think I'd change anything about it.
Anyone can get to my blog, hell it even has my full name on it, and so you don't really get anything too personal on there (most of the time).
I think I know most of the people that visit my blog, but there are always lurkers.
I think I know most of the people that visit my blog, but there are always lurkers.
*checks self in mirror*
nope, definitely a different red.
I never really worked out what blogging was for exactly. But I di think this|: it's your blog, do what you want with it. It probably won't do as much for you if you let the inhibited feeling get hold of you, so perhaps you should just be resolute and carry on regardless.
(not that I did that, but anyway...)
nope, definitely a different red.
I never really worked out what blogging was for exactly. But I di think this|: it's your blog, do what you want with it. It probably won't do as much for you if you let the inhibited feeling get hold of you, so perhaps you should just be resolute and carry on regardless.
(not that I did that, but anyway...)
That's the beauty of blogging - the anonymity of it all. However, if workmates or managers get to know about this blog, then I may have to re-consider.
But that's not likely to happen...unless I let someone at work know my online name.
Glad you and Lorraine had your chat.
And I'm with Skywolf here. The fact that you want to write down things as you see it, remembering things for later, makes you a writer. And quite a good one at that.
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But that's not likely to happen...unless I let someone at work know my online name.
Glad you and Lorraine had your chat.
And I'm with Skywolf here. The fact that you want to write down things as you see it, remembering things for later, makes you a writer. And quite a good one at that.
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