Pynchon

I have a joke!

It was entertainment night in the lounge at the Old Age Pensioners Home and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth; light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit" said the Hypnotist.

It took several days to clean up the lounge at the Old Age Pensioners Home.

Pynchon is available for weddings and Bar Mitzvah's.

In other news, I've been to see "Apocalypto".



I come to praise Mel Gibson, not to bury him. In recent times he may have turned out to be a bit of a nobber, but he has put together a good film in "Apocalypto".

Yes, "Apocalypto" is extremely violent and bloodthirsty, and has pretentions towards art by shooting all of the dialogue in authentic Maya, when really shooting the dialogue in English wouldn't have made a lot of difference to the reality of the film, but it is also a beautifully constructed and exhilarating action film. The film is visceral, fast and even funny. The whole chase sequence during the second half of the film is fantastic, with our hero using only his wits and cunning to take out the villains. And what villains... (Boo, hiss.) Perhaps "Apocalypto" is a little bit long, and (vague spoilers ahead) the whole wife-in-peril and the arrival of the future at the end is a bit conveniently plotty, but on balance it is not a bad film to start the year with.

You'll like it. Forget that Gibson's a twat. Go to see "Apocalypto" and enjoy, but beware, it is violent.

I have just finished "The Colour Of Magic" and am now about to start "The Time Traveller's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger . Lorraine tried to read it yonks ago and gave up, saying that it was not her kind of thing. I never do that. I try to finish everything that I start - book or film. I want to know how it ends, no matter how bad it might be.