Sunday, September 17, 2006
I am supposed to be writing reviews of "The Black Dhalia" and "The Queen", both of which I saw this weekend, but I cannot be arsed. I'll do them tomorrow. Instead, here's a questionnaire that I found on the lovely Suburban Hen's blog.
Ready? Here we go.
1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
Lorraine does not have a middle name.
2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
M&S Boxers. Light blue. (Actually very gay.)
3. What is the song you want played at your funeral?
I don't know.
4. Would you tell your parents if you're gay?
No. They really, really wouldn't understand.
5. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Fish and chips and steak and kidney pie. All on the same plate.
6. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles.
7. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who?
I do not wish death on anybody. (Pause.) Oh, OK then. The guy who fucked my Mom and stole her money. He was in a car crash. My Brother and I bought champagne to celebrate.
8. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
Probably hard liquor.
9. What is the thing most important to you about your mate?
She loves me, man!
10. What are your plans for the future?
To become a global superstar and household name. If that does not happen, just to be happy.
11. No question on number 11. Suburban Hen left it out.
12. Do you walk around the house naked?
I do indeed. I am trying to raise the courage to one day answer the door naked. My Dad used to do it, occasionally. Always a laugh.
13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Just the one. Has to be a big drink,though.
14. Where is your best friend?
Downstairs working.
15. Hair colour you like on someone you're dating?
Couldn't give a toss. Brunette, blonde, redhead, bald...
16. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
I suppose deaf.
17. Do you have any special talents?
Not really. Is having a better than average memory a talent?
20. Favourite hateful thing to do to someone?
I am such a saint that I cannot think of a single thing.
21. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
One of the old Buster Crabbe black and white "Flash Gordon" serials at the Birmingham Odeon. (I am not that old. In the early 70's the Odeon used to show a lot of the old black and white serials on a Saturday morning. Me and my Dad went to a lot of them.)
22. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Feed Moon The Cat.
23. When's the last time you went on a date?
A couple of weeks back, during my birthday week.
24. Do you like horror or comedy?
Both.
26. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
I regret nothing.
28. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Difficult, but somebody like Ian Somerhalder, I suppose. (Where are you on the Kinsey scale? 1 is strictly heterosexual, 5 is strictly homosexual. I suppose I must be a 2.)
29. Where do you want to live when you are old?
Somewhere comfortable.
30. Who is the person you can count on most?
Lorraine.
31. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Linda Hayden. (She was an actress in exploitation films in the seventies like "Baby Love", "Blood On Satan's Claw", "Confessions Of A Window Cleaner", etc. Oh, yes. She moved me, all right. She might even have been my first wank.) Sherilyn Fenn was hot, as well. And Kate Winslet. Oh Kate...
32. Where was your first kiss?
In a hotel off Tottenham Court Road in London.
33. Favourite drinking game?
Don't have one.
34. What did you dream last night?
Cannot remember.
35. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Football.
36. When was the last time you got laid?
Christmas Day 2005. I have had a few hand jobs since then, though. Lorraine is not interested in sex at the moment.
37. What is your new obsession?
Climate change. I only fill the kettle with the water I need, I turn lights off, etc. to save energy.
38. If you could take back one thing in your past, what would it be?
In 1981, not asking a girl called Susan out. I liked her and she liked me. Something would have happened.
Ready? Here we go.
1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
Lorraine does not have a middle name.
2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
M&S Boxers. Light blue. (Actually very gay.)
3. What is the song you want played at your funeral?
I don't know.
4. Would you tell your parents if you're gay?
No. They really, really wouldn't understand.
5. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Fish and chips and steak and kidney pie. All on the same plate.
6. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles.
7. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who?
I do not wish death on anybody. (Pause.) Oh, OK then. The guy who fucked my Mom and stole her money. He was in a car crash. My Brother and I bought champagne to celebrate.
8. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
Probably hard liquor.
9. What is the thing most important to you about your mate?
She loves me, man!
10. What are your plans for the future?
To become a global superstar and household name. If that does not happen, just to be happy.
11. No question on number 11. Suburban Hen left it out.
12. Do you walk around the house naked?
I do indeed. I am trying to raise the courage to one day answer the door naked. My Dad used to do it, occasionally. Always a laugh.
13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Just the one. Has to be a big drink,though.
14. Where is your best friend?
Downstairs working.
15. Hair colour you like on someone you're dating?
Couldn't give a toss. Brunette, blonde, redhead, bald...
16. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
I suppose deaf.
17. Do you have any special talents?
Not really. Is having a better than average memory a talent?
20. Favourite hateful thing to do to someone?
I am such a saint that I cannot think of a single thing.
21. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
One of the old Buster Crabbe black and white "Flash Gordon" serials at the Birmingham Odeon. (I am not that old. In the early 70's the Odeon used to show a lot of the old black and white serials on a Saturday morning. Me and my Dad went to a lot of them.)
22. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Feed Moon The Cat.
23. When's the last time you went on a date?
A couple of weeks back, during my birthday week.
24. Do you like horror or comedy?
Both.
26. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
I regret nothing.
28. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Difficult, but somebody like Ian Somerhalder, I suppose. (Where are you on the Kinsey scale? 1 is strictly heterosexual, 5 is strictly homosexual. I suppose I must be a 2.)
29. Where do you want to live when you are old?
Somewhere comfortable.
30. Who is the person you can count on most?
Lorraine.
31. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Linda Hayden. (She was an actress in exploitation films in the seventies like "Baby Love", "Blood On Satan's Claw", "Confessions Of A Window Cleaner", etc. Oh, yes. She moved me, all right. She might even have been my first wank.) Sherilyn Fenn was hot, as well. And Kate Winslet. Oh Kate...
32. Where was your first kiss?
In a hotel off Tottenham Court Road in London.
33. Favourite drinking game?
Don't have one.
34. What did you dream last night?
Cannot remember.
35. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Football.
36. When was the last time you got laid?
Christmas Day 2005. I have had a few hand jobs since then, though. Lorraine is not interested in sex at the moment.
37. What is your new obsession?
Climate change. I only fill the kettle with the water I need, I turn lights off, etc. to save energy.
38. If you could take back one thing in your past, what would it be?
In 1981, not asking a girl called Susan out. I liked her and she liked me. Something would have happened.
# posted by Pynchon @ 10:25 pm 
