Pynchon

I forgot to mention that Lorraine liked the flowers. Six pink roses and greenery. They smell of nothing whatsoever. The house has been so hot that the blooms have opened wide. They are huge. I think they are very nice.

Lorraine was less impressed by the note. She said it was a horrible thing to write. I told her that some people liked it a lot and that I would be using the same line on my next girlfriend. She said, "... And roll on that happy day".

Charming.

The family meal went very well. We went to Buffet Island on Tyburn Road. Large portions (it is one of those Eat-As-Much-As-You-Can-Until-You-Are-Sick places and we did) and small prices (seventy-eight quid for nine people, including drinks). Can't be bad. We even behaved ourselves, although Lorraine and Sister 2 were at daggers with each other (it's a long story - maybe I will go into it sometime). I received two Birthday cards, a mug with World's Greatest Uncle on it and a seventy quid Debenham's voucher. (It's not my Birthday until Thursday, so obviously my voucher entitling me to a lap dance from Pamela Anderson will be arriving then.)

I have seen two films this weekend. On Sunday afternoon I saw "Severance" .



"Severance" was OK. The pacing is a bit wonky in that it lags in parts, but it was laudably short and it wasn't bad. There is only so much you can do with such a generic horror setup. (i.e. Get a group of mismatched people together, isolate them and kill them, one by one.) At least it was British, and it does have laughs, gore, big guns and gratuitous nudity (see picture above). I only went to see it because I do feel the need at times to support the British film industry. Go and see it and keep Danny Dyer in work!

Today I saw "Snakes On A Plane".



(Wouldn't it have been great if the above had been the official poster?)

You can skip the first half an hour of setup which is clunky, stilted and awful. Get yourself a drink or have a piss. You won't be missing much. Go back into the cinema just before the snakes get released because then "Snakes On A Plane" becomes fucking fantastic!

From the first "Big-Snake-Bites-Yow-On-The--Ass" moment "Snakes On A Plane" is an absolute hoot. Brilliant. A real crowd pleaser. It has been years since I have been in a cinema when the entire audience totally dug a movie. There was real (good) audience participation. Lots of laughter and groans of horror. "Snakes On A Plane" is about as substantial as tissue paper, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I have been ordered to bed. I might be buying a new computer and a laptop tomorrow. God help me.