Pynchon

I'm a back!

Wednesday.

I got up before Oz and Hen. There was no way I was going to do my normal thing which is to wander around the house in my casual wear. (M&S special, if you must know. Lounge wear. England T-shirt and soft shorts; a gift from Lorraine last Saturday. How old does she think I am? 6 years old. I do love 'em, though.) Shave, wash face, into the shower, out of the shower. Skip silently down the hallway. Dress and downstairs.

There was a note waiting for me.

"Don't forget. Moon needs to go the vet today to be monitored. I will pick him up later. Also, don't forget to inject him."

Oh, fuck. How the hell was I going to get him into his box? Moon the Cat does not like his box. Moon makes noises when he has to go into his box. Moon looks at me in a severe way. Moon hisses. Moon scratches. Pynchon has never put Moon into his box. Pynchon does not want to put Moon in this box.

Perhaps I could somehow knock Moon unconscious and then get him into his box? No. Impossible. Cold sweat moment. My cool in front of my guests was about to depart.

Hen and Oz appeared. I offered them drinks. I think Oz had tea. I said that I would buy them breakfast at Asterias in town (perveyour of fine baguettes of all descriptions). I said that I needed to inject Moon and then somehow get him into his box and could I, pray, beg a lift to the vet? I made my eyes very wide and sad (I have seen "Shrek 2") and then Hen said, "Sure we can give you a lift. Do you want me to do the injection and Moon in the box for you?".

Er... Yes!

Hen disappeared with the hypodermic needle and the bottle of insulin and returned a couple of seconds later.

"All done."

I followed Hen out to the living room. She got behind Moon, did some kind of Ninja maneuver, followed by a yelp of surprise from Moon, and then he was in the box. Moon looked at Hen with respect. Moon looked at me like I was a wassock.

Fair enough.

Oz and Hen gave Moon and I a lift to the vet and then dropped the car back at the house. We went into town on the bus. The weather looked very changeable and gray, but we had taken jackets. I pointed out Villa Park from the bus. It looked very unimpressive. Bit like the team, eh?

Off the bus and into Asterias. The place was empty, but it was nearly 10am. We ordered some very nice breakfast sandwiches and baguettes. Sausage, bacon, eggs. Oz had cheese on a sausage, bacon and egg baguette. (WTF?) Oz and Hen both tried brown sauce. I think it was HP. (Keep the HP Sauce factory in Birmingham!) I like HP Brown Sauce.

From Asterias it was into the Oasis indoor market. I don't think that I have been in the Oasis indoor market in 15 years, and even then it was just to buy jeans. It's a great place. A true treasure trove. I will go back again. We went upstairs and downstairs. I think that Hen and Oz liked it a great deal. Oz purchased some great, punk tartan trousers with lots of zips. He said that they would be his football-going trousers of choice.

From Oasis it was into the comic shop Forbidden Planet (I don't think we did much in there) and then onto the Bull Ring. Oz asked if it was OK to sit on the bull (not real) outside. I said that it was OK. Oz tried to climb onto the bull and fell off. A very nice security man told us that sitting on the bull was not allowed. (I didn't know. I swear it.) We wandered around the Bull Ring for about 10 seconds. Shops, shops and more shops. Nice if you like shops, but I think Hen and Oz were not that excited by seeing shops.

From the Bull Ring we walked to the Mailbox shopping centre. Hen and Oz were not bothered about seeing the shops, but we did end up in the BBC shop where we took advantage of the virtual reality penalty taking machine in the foyer. I kept England's end up. I scored first time. (Come on England!) Oz didn't. (Hah!)

We went through the Mailbox and out the canal side (or is it the Caynal side?) We stopped at a bar for a drink. The bar was manned by two very young, very nice Eastern European ladies. It was a very strange bar as it did not appear to have any beer whatsoever on tap. Also, the bottles were sabotaged. One of the very young, very nice Eastern European ladies attempted to open a bottle and the top of the bottle got stuck in the bottle opener. She said that she had never seen that happen before.

We sat outside and drank and considered next moves. After resting we walked down the canal and Hen took photos of ducks and buildings. We considered and rejected going to the Sea Life Centre and trying to get tickets for Rik Mayall in the stage adaptation of "The New Statesman" (we saw a poster). Disgracefully Hen thinks that Rik Malawi is vile and disgusting.

We went to the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery; another establishment that I had not been into in decades. (Actually I think that I last went into that place when I was 10 years old - 32 years ago!) It was interesting to me (they have a real life Mummy in a case!), but I think that Hen really loved it. I know that she loves all kinds of art. You might know that she is an artist herself. Some of us are lucky enough to own a Suburban Hen original. Our picture is beautiful and, embarrassingly enough, was not on a wall when she was in our house. Sorry Hen.

We backtracked to the Walkabout Inn on Broad Street (perversely Hen and Oz's choice - I think that they were interested in what Australian cliches a themed bar could come up with) and had some lunch. Cheesey chips for Hen (yuck!). I don't know what Oz had, but I had a Kangaroo burger. I didn't know it was legal to eat Kangaroo. Oz said that Kangaroo had quite a nice taste. It would have been rude not to try it, so I did. It was nice. In the Walkabout Inn we watched Football and Rugby simultaneously. Then we went home.

Hen was very tired (and red in the face) and went to have a lie down. This was at about 5pm. We didn't see Hen again until 8am the next day. (Oz did check that she was OK a couple of times.) Perhaps it is a ladies thing. Lorraine has been know to do similar things. I suppose when you have to sleep, you have to sleep.

Oz and I watched the footie. Lorraine came home and cooked herself something. Lorraine and Oz talked about Japanese animated films. Oz had noticed "Howl's Moving Castle" on our DVD shelf and commented that he was waiting for it to come out in Australia. Lorraine asked him if he would like to watch it and he did.

I really enjoyed "Howl's Moving Castle". It looks beautiful and the plot is a bit less obscure than some of the others that Lorraine has made me sit through. Unlike Lorraine, I am not the greatest fan of Japanese animation. I don't think that she has seen one that she has not liked.

After "Howl's Moving Castle" we flicked through the cable channels and ended up watching Ricky Gervais in an episode of "The Office". Oz said that that series had been broadcast in Australia. I asked him if he had ever seen the Ricky Gervais follow up, "Extras". Oz hadn't and that is how we ended up watching most of "Extras" until 2am. I think that Oz enjoyed it a lot; even the ones starring people he had never heard of (take a bow Ross Kemp and Les Dennis - I did tell Oz who both of you were).

Phew. I am tired myself now. Final chapter tomorrow. I need to go to bed.