Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Conversation overheard in the canteen, while I was eating lunch. (Pork and stuffing on a brown baguette, spread with a little butter, seasoned with a little salt and pepper and botulism.)
(Two girls are sitting at a table. Girl Two is suntanned. She has obviously just come back from a holiday.)
Girl One: You look well.
Girl Two: You mean I look fat?
Girl One: No.
Girl Two: Well, I have put some weight on.
Girl One: Oh, yes?
Girl Two: Yes. I was 7, 7. Now I'm 7, 10.
(Pynchon nearly chokes on his sandwich. He looks at the thin, bony and emaciated looking girls at the table next to him. He considers buying them a Mars Bar to help fatten them up, but remembers the Rolling Stones drug bust story and thinks better of it.)
7 stone, 10 pounds! Fat Cow!
... How can anybody think that at 7 stone 10 pounds they are fat? I think one of my forearms weighs 7 stone, 10 pounds. (I am 12 stone, 3 pounds. I eat too much. Sue me.) Hell, if you are naturally thin, well done, but I won't fancy you. I like curves. I like tits. I like bottoms. I like women who look like women and not teenage boys.
Be happy, be healthy and be diverse! Y'all, give yourselves a round of applause, now!
(Today's lifestyle lecture was given by the genius self help guru John Pynchon. John thanks you for your time and would like to remind you that modestly priced books and tapes are available in the foyer. Please don't forget to visit his website www.fatisonlytwolettersawayfromfun.com.)
Oh, yes...
I need to add links to my last post. It was written in a bit of a hurry. Sloppy.
(Two girls are sitting at a table. Girl Two is suntanned. She has obviously just come back from a holiday.)
Girl One: You look well.
Girl Two: You mean I look fat?
Girl One: No.
Girl Two: Well, I have put some weight on.
Girl One: Oh, yes?
Girl Two: Yes. I was 7, 7. Now I'm 7, 10.
(Pynchon nearly chokes on his sandwich. He looks at the thin, bony and emaciated looking girls at the table next to him. He considers buying them a Mars Bar to help fatten them up, but remembers the Rolling Stones drug bust story and thinks better of it.)
7 stone, 10 pounds! Fat Cow!
... How can anybody think that at 7 stone 10 pounds they are fat? I think one of my forearms weighs 7 stone, 10 pounds. (I am 12 stone, 3 pounds. I eat too much. Sue me.) Hell, if you are naturally thin, well done, but I won't fancy you. I like curves. I like tits. I like bottoms. I like women who look like women and not teenage boys.
Be happy, be healthy and be diverse! Y'all, give yourselves a round of applause, now!
(Today's lifestyle lecture was given by the genius self help guru John Pynchon. John thanks you for your time and would like to remind you that modestly priced books and tapes are available in the foyer. Please don't forget to visit his website www.fatisonlytwolettersawayfromfun.com.)
Oh, yes...
I need to add links to my last post. It was written in a bit of a hurry. Sloppy.
# posted by Pynchon @ 10:58 pm 
Comments:
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You just made me think of roast pork and left over crispy stuffing sandwiches. Yum. Not sure about botulism tho, is that an extra?
7 stone 10..if she's was 13 and 5'0 perhaps..
7 stone 10..if she's was 13 and 5'0 perhaps..
Hey, Fuff!
No, our canteen specialises in botulism. It comes free.
By the way, these were grown up, proper women. Well, I say grown up...
No, our canteen specialises in botulism. It comes free.
By the way, these were grown up, proper women. Well, I say grown up...
Pork and cracking sandwiches with a dribble of gravy... *drools*
My clever, charmining, intelligent and attractive wife occasionally has these fat conversations. She's a size 8... Bonkers!
My clever, charmining, intelligent and attractive wife occasionally has these fat conversations. She's a size 8... Bonkers!
in the last seven days I have seen two separate women who are clearly starving themselves to death. I mention it because both times it really stood out and because it made an impact on me. These girls were beyond thin, they were at that stage where you are just bone wrapped in skin, where the face is starting to disappear, and the cheeks aren't so much hollow as chasms. It's horrible. They were both pretty well dressed and generally quite well presented, but both were clearly very, very ill. One had a boyfriend with a beer belly.
It's very, very disturbing.
Wow. What a bummer of a comment.
ST
It's very, very disturbing.
Wow. What a bummer of a comment.
ST
stef - Size 8? Small, yes? Lorraine takes a... No, better not.
adem - I suggest that you seek medical help ASAP.
swiss - That's very sad. Really sad. I have a colleague at work who is on strict atkins at the moment. He is not particularly thin, yet, but he looks unwell and his breath stinks. He was fretting today about whether he should have a little bit of sweetcorn. It was a big deal. Ridiculous.
katyola - 14 pounds to a stone, so 7 stone, 10 pounds is (calculates) 108 pounds.
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adem - I suggest that you seek medical help ASAP.
swiss - That's very sad. Really sad. I have a colleague at work who is on strict atkins at the moment. He is not particularly thin, yet, but he looks unwell and his breath stinks. He was fretting today about whether he should have a little bit of sweetcorn. It was a big deal. Ridiculous.
katyola - 14 pounds to a stone, so 7 stone, 10 pounds is (calculates) 108 pounds.
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