Monday, May 15, 2006

 
Yesterday, Lorraine purchased one of those picture frame fridge magnet's, into which she has put a picture of me taken at Barcelona's Nu Camp in 1999. (Barcelona was one of the stops on the cruise that we took that year.) In the picture I am tanned, thinner and have more hair. I am smiling and pointing at a picture hanging in the hall of fame. (I suppose it is Aston Villa in the picture. I cannot remember.) Lorraine has said that she has done this to inspire me to get back to how I used to be. It has done nothing of the kind. I am even more depressed.

I asked her if she wanted to go upstairs for a fumble. She declined. I asked her if she ever intended to fumble with me ever again. She said, "Who's to know?" and I said that perhaps we should forget all about it and I employ the services of a prostitute if and when required. She said that I should do what the fuck I like.

Charming.

Whatever.

It pains me to admit it but I saw on "Mission: Impossible III" on Sunday and I thought it was rather good.



It's not perfect by any means (that happy, clappy ending is just awful) but it is a million times better than the first two instalments and has several great set pieces to get your teeth into (especially the rescue of the Keri Russell's captured IMF agent, the Vatican City kidnapping and the attack on the bridge sequence). Great stuff and mostly about the team. Why didn't they do this kind of "Mission: Impossible" movie 10 years ago? J. J. Abrams and Co. did good. Also, very nice to see a typical "Alias" flash forward opening to the movie.

I have a joke. Those inclined towards the politically correct may as well look away now.

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.
"Y'know", said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there's a little bar called McSweaty's. The wee guv'nor goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he'll buy the 5th drink for you."


"Well", said the Englishman, "at my local, the Cottage, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhh that's nothin'", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Murphy's bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house".

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately poured scorn on the Irishman's claims, but the Irishman sweared that every word was true.

"Well", said the Englishman in disbelief, "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me myself, personally, No," said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister."

I'm off to have a read and then I might have a... Er... Wank. Yeah.

Comments:
Why didn't they do a Mission Impossible movie 10 years ago? One that bore some resemblance to the TV series with a team and stuff... *shakes head*

Do you think Lorraine would be motivated by a picture of her on the fridge from when she was 17 or one taken not long after you'd had sex...? Just a thought.

Actually, this is none of my business forget I said that but I too would be pissed off to have a photo of me 7 years ago waived in front of me, of course I was thinner!
 
I'm a bit lucky in that if I showed you a picture of what I looked like seven years ago, I would have been fatter!.

Yes, it's true, it does happen.
 
I don't think Lorraine hit the mark on the 'inspiration' idea. An old photo on the fridge would make me depressed too. (Actually I abhor anything stuck onto my fridge.)
 
A bit insensitive, if I may say so, but she probably, in her own way, meant well.
 
A tapeworm infection could do the trick nicely without having to anything unpleasant like exercise.
 
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