Pynchon

This morning Lorraine announced that she was not feeling well and would not be attending my Niece's birthday party with me. Whatever. There seems to be a lot of not-feeling-well going on at the moment and it normally coincides with doing something with my family.

So, firstly, I went to see "16 Blocks".



It's fairly formularic stuff, to be honest, but it has it's moments. Out of the action stars that appeared during the 80's and 90's Bruce Willis is probably my favourite and I think has the chance of the greatest longevity. Why? Because given the chance the guy can really act. He is good in this film as a alcoholic cop given a chance at redemption, as is David Morse as his nemesis. Mos Def is irritating beyond belief. I also hated the ending. Hollywood, cliche shit.

I ran into my Brother outside the cinema. He had been in the same screen, but I didn't spot him. He thought that "16 Blocks" was not very interesting at all as it "Has all been done before".

Brother and I made our way to my Niece's Birthday party. When we got there it was absolute chaos. The house had been overrun with sugar crazed 9 year olds and random adults in various states of inebriation. Apparently Sister 1 expected a handful of kids to turn up to the party, but had not countered on my Niece asking everybody in her class to attend and not one of the parents of those children to call to check that their children had actually been invited. I don't think that everybody in her class did attend, but it did seemed like it.

So, my Brother and I said hello to my Mom, who had taken refuge in the only comfortable chair in the house, retreated to the kitchen and grabbed what food we could. Ah... The running buffet. Budget all the way. Ham sandwiches, chicken sandwiches, beef sandwiches garlic bread, sausages on sticks, sausage rolls, pringles, crisps, coleslaw, chicken nuggets, onion rings, some unidentifiable items. We were disgusting. We ate a bit of everything. My Brother and I stayed a couple of hours and both left with indigestion and heartburn. We deserved it.

On the bus back into town my Brother pointed out a huge, disheveled, curly haired Fat Guy who had just got onto the bus and gone upstairs.

"That guy was carrying a gun", said my Brother.

"Bollocks", said I.

"No, really he was", said my Brother.

The smell of weed started to seep down the stairs. So far so typical. (Hey! I live in Birmingham.) Then we heard what can only be described as a 'kefuffle' from upstairs. Fat Guy came down the stairs in a hurry and sat in the seat in front of us. He was adjusting his gun. The gun looked plastic. I thought that it looked like a water pistol, but it turned out be be one of those toy guns that shoot potato bullets.

A minute after Fat Guy came down the stairs he was followed by Agitated Dude who went up to the driver and said, "That fat cunt just shot me in the back of the head".

"You were smoking weed", said Fat Guy.

"No, I wasn't" said Agitated Dude.

The bus driver stopped the bus and physically ejected Fat Guy from the bus. Fat Guy was upset. He swore and banged on the side of the bus.

Now, I know some people are not too keen on the smell of cigarette smoke (Lorraine is one of them), legal or otherwise, but I doubt if shooting somebody with a potato gun in the back of the head to show their displeasure was the best course of action to take. My Brother and I responded with maturity to this spectacle. We laughed like drains.

Home. Vegetating-in-front-of-the-TV night. We watched "Thunderbirds" (which I wanted Lorraine to watch so that she could fully grasp the full depths of the abomination that Jonathan Frakes spewed up), "Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events" (which I really enjoyed, I thought it was great) and "Galaxy Quest" (which is one of our favourite films and should be essential viewing for every "Star Trek" fan).

Finally, I have sent an e-card to my Niece. It's an animated dog barking. Very classy.