Pynchon

... the longest legs that I have ever seen. Or is that, the shortest skirt that I have ever seen? Whatever. The effect was the same. She crossed her legs. She uncrossed her legs. (It's difficult on a train when you are sitting at one of the little tables. Have you ever tried it?) I noted that she had on black underwear. Lorraine also noticed me noticing this and she tutted her disapproval.

The girl was wearing a white jacket (unbuttoned), a low cut blue top and a blue belt skirt. (I've already mentioned the skirt.) Nice tits (but not as big as Lorraine's) and you could see that she was just about wearing a black bra, which was peeking over the the edge of her top.

(Let's think about black underwear for a moment.... Hmm... Indeed.)

I'm shallow. I would have. If she had asked. But she didn't. And Lorraine was there. :-(

She transfixed those middle aged men. Metaphorically she twirled them around her fingers. They bought her drinks. They bought her sandwiches. They told her jokes. She laughed once or twice. She showed an interest in their mobile camera phones and watched as those men fought each other for the privilege of taking photos of her.

Just by listening I found out quite a lot about her. Hell, it was impossible not to eavesdrop.

1. Her name was Justine.
2. Justine was 20 years of age.
3. Justine was a single mother.
4. Little Marshall (her child) was being cared for by "Mummy and Daddy".
5. Justine did not have a job.
6. Justine was quite posh.
7. Justine was traveling to Wolverhampton to meet up a student (Keith) she had met over the internet.
8. Justine had never physically met Keith before, but had had frequent webcam contact with him for a few weeks.
9. Justine did not know exactly where she was going to be staying on Saturday evening and she was not scheduled to go home until Monday morning.
10. Justine owned a Blackberry, but did not know how to use it.

The three middle aged men got off at Coventry. At Birmingham International two German businessmen, just finished at a Trades Fair, got on and sat at Justine's table. Justine smiled, fluttered her eyelashes and then they started chatting her up. The two German businessmen got off at New Street, as did Lorraine and me. As we were moving down the carriage we heard Justine on her mobile. She was telling Keith that she would be at Wolverhampton in half an hour and that she had had a nice but strange journey because "Total strangers have been coming up and talking to me".

On the platform Lorraine said to me, "Silly cow. She's got no fucking idea, has she? Just looking for trouble."

No comment, but I swear on my Mom's life that I had a strong urge before getting off that train to tell Justine to "watch out for herself" and to "take care". I didn't. What the hell would Lorraine have said if I have done that?

So, was Justine being manipulative or was she an innocent? I started this bit by saying that she demonstrated a mastery of men to the nth degree. I think she did. I just don't know if it was deliberate. Can anybody be a true innocent in the noughties?

Yesterday Orville Turd finally gave us his leaving date. It's been shifting and difficult to pin down. We have always suspected that if James Cunt so much as hinted that he would like Orville to stay, Orville would have stayed. Cunt did his Stonewall Jackson impression and said nothing. Orville will be leaving on Friday. Lorraine will take over officially with immediate effect.

Don't get me wrong. I have always felt that Orville was a useless and an ineffective manager. The job and the issues associated with our team were just too much for him and he often concentrated on trivial nonsense without addressing any of the real problems. I often became personally annoyed with him due to a perceived lack of support, that I suppose he could do nothing about, as it arose from a lack of support to him from the Senior Managers. I suppose I was also a difficult and gobby employee. (There are a few of us.) But... Orville's a nice guy. He has a family. He has health problems. (He's just had an operation on his knee and can barely walk.) He's been OK with me. I definitely do not want to see him in the gutter. He does not have a job to go to as far as I know.

I shook his hand when I left yesterday. I will not be in the office tomorrow. I wished him well. I meant it. He told me that he was having a joint leaving do on Thursday 13th (the day before the Good Friday Bank Holiday) in the City Centre and invited me to attend. I said that I would and I asked him, "Joint leaving do? Who else is leaving?"

"Oh, you don't know yet, do you? Vicky has got her leaving date. She leaves next week. We agreed to hold the leaving do on the same day."

Vicky Sunshine leaves next week. It had to happen, and I've just invited myself to it. It's the perfect opportunity to let my emotions, which I've kept tightly under wraps for ages, run away with me and make a prat of myself. I don't know about this. I really don't know.

Onwards.

Last night I went to see the Cosmic Rough Riders.

It turned out that it is only a select bunch of people that are interested in seeing a brilliant, west coast influenced, jingle jangle guitar, power pop trio (although there was a 4th guy onstage, not in the posters, who was playing some very tasty lead guitar). The gig was moved from the Carling Academy to the Bar Academy, down the street. There were maybe 100 of us in the audience. It's a shame, but I take comfort from the fact that when the Cosmic Rough Riders are bestriding stadiums around the world I will smugly claim that I saw them when they were nobodies. (Never happens that way, of course. I turned down the chance to see the Sex Pistols at Birmingham Town Hall in 1976 and Oasis as Edwards No. 8 in 1994. It seems the only people who become huge are those I don't see in small venues.)

It was a really good gig. It had some of the best camaraderie between audience and band that I have seen since the great Crowded House at Aston Villa Leisure Centre in 1993. The only disappointment, for me at least, was that they only played one track from "Enjoy The Melodic Sunshine", and that was "Revolution (In The Summertime)", but that was a different band and an age ago and I suppose that every band has to move on. The songs from the last album sounded great live especially "Justify The Rain" and "Because You" (which segued into the Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again"). The new songs also sound really good.

The new album is out in May. I will be buying it. Gotta be done.

I have taken two days off work. The intention was to work on my CV seriously as I have had enough of the working at the Company. I have done everything except work on my CV (Ocado shopping delivery, took clothes to the dry cleaners, went to Sainsbury's for fresh fruit and vegetables, watched the news, watched "Steptoe And Son" on UK Gold) and it's ridiculous. At least I haven't gone to the cinema, but that was touch and go. What am I afraid of? Rejection? Fucking A. Suppose I get my CV sorted, lose some weight so that I can get into my best suit, put myself on the market and then nobody is interested? Hell, it has got to be done. Time is a slipping away.

CV work time it is. After I have surfed some blogs, of course. Got to get my priorities right.