Sunday, March 12, 2006

 
You might say that it has been an up and down weekend.

Saturday.

Up. I went to the dentist. I had no problems. I also had the fun experience of a rather large breasted dental assistant leaning over me while Mr. Nice Dentist did his job. I did try to concentrate on the bit of dirt on the ceiling, but it was hard, as was another part of my anatomy.

Up. We went to see "Lucky Number Slevin" which was way better than the UK reviews would have you believe.



Yes, everybody in the film is either cool, a fool or a caricature (the likes of Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman and Ben Kingsley can play their respective parts standing on their heads), but "Lucky Number Slevin" is smartly written, twisty, turney and very enjoyable. Lorraine said that she might want to buy it on DVD when it comes out. I wouldn't object to having it on my DVD shelf.

Up. We have booked a sofa seat at the Electric Cinema to see "V For Vendetta" on 24th March. It is Lorraine's birthday. The tickets are going quick. Could be a good film.

Down. My right foot has been hurting me for weeks. By Saturday afternoon I could barely walk. Once we had finished the cinema visit we had to go straight home as the pain got very bad. Doctor's? Fuck off.

Up. Saturday evening we watched Clive Owen in "King Arthur" on Sky Movies 1. I liked it. A nice deconstruction of the whole Arthurian legend. Lot's of well known characters (Arthur, Lancelot, Guinevere, Merlin) not quite doing what we expect them to be doing. (Note to the FA. They should show "King Arthur" before every England football team game, along with "Escape To Victory" and the original "The Italian Job".) OK. I admit it. "King Arthur" was dreadful, but it was saved by some interesting casting decisions. Keira Knightly as a warrior queen painted blue, wearing a leather bra and brandishing a bow and arrow? Also, a very... er... muscular performance by the great Ray Winstone. Loved it.

Down. Late Saturday evening. Asked Lorraine if she wanted to have sex, but she declined. She did agree to a tit wank. Went for that, but a short while later she got very angry when spunk went everywhere. All over the bed, her pillow, her face, etc. (I swear on my Mom's life that it wasn't intentional.) I tried to clean her and the bed up, but my attempts made her even more angry. Then I got angry. Asked her the last time she initiated any kind of sexual activity. She couldn't remember. I could. It was on Christmas Day. Said that I would not "fucking bother in future" even asking for sex because the whole sex thing was "so distasteful" for her and that she should be happy that we can now turn into two "sexless old fuckers". This aggravated her, but I ignored her, turned over and went to sleep.

Sunday.

Down. I refused to cook breakfast and I did not hoover the house. It hurt me more than it hurt her, believe me. I refused to talk to her and went out to the cinema.

Up. I went to see "The Proposition".



It's a great film. Brutal, violent, grimy and horrifying. Also quite beautiful. I don't know if that makes any sense. Great work from Ray Winstone and Emily Watson, in fact from everybody involved (Guy Pearce, Danny Huston, et al.)

Down. Didn't go to see my Mom. I couldn't face it.

Up. Went home. Lorraine made me a cup of tea. I needed it. I had not had a drink all day. We talked for a bit. It was civilized but I was still fucking angry. She said that she did not want us to fall out. Neither of us apologized, but neither of us was completely in the wrong. We had a cuddle. There was no food in the house, so we ordered Chinese. I think it is the best meal that I have ever had.

Down. I still do not intend to ask Lorraine for sex ever again. Part of me wants her to ask me for sex to show that she cares and that I am wrong in thinking that our sex life is over. Part of me wants to be proven right. Am I cutting off my nose to spite my face? Perhaps I should just go to a prostitute and get it over and done with? Then we could just live in this house in a beautiful, loving platonic relationship in which sex plays no part? Am I just a disgusting brute? Am I really just a primeval thug? I do want to be with her. Really I do.

Up. "24" and "Rescue Me". Lorraine is downstairs watching "Bones". I am here. Well, I was.

I don't know what the fuck anybody else is doing. I will catch up tomorrow.

Comments:
You are not a thug and it may surprise you that I would not think less of you if you paid for it. I'd be less impressed if you had an affair.
 
Yes, I think Hen is right. Not a nice situation either way though.

I don't suppose there's any way to get to the bottom of Loraine's issues about sex and trying to turn it around? She presumably has her reasons for not wanting sex...

On a lighter note, the only movie I saw this weekend was Maid in Manhattan... Shite but then again we expected it to be shite, so...
 
It's natural to want to have sex with the one you love, and it's awfully frustrating when it doesn't happen. I agree with Stef: a lot of talking needs to be done to get to the bottom of it all. Good luck!
 
You're not a brute, although I can understand why you would think of yourself as one. I'm not saying I've been in the same boat as you, but I have been in a similar one, and I thought the same thoughts.

It's shit for everyone, and I hope it gets better for you.

ST
 
All. Thanks.
 
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