Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Today I have been mostly checking out ladies breasts.
First up was Lorraine. Lorraine came out of the shower this morning and was headed down the hallway draped in a towel. I asked her to "Give the boys a flash" and she did. Her bosoms jiggled nicely. Good girl.
Second up was Vicky Sunshine in the canteen at lunchtime. I had not seen Vicky since Christmas. She seemed to have put on a bit of weight over the holiday, but so what? Vicky was still scrumptious enough to spread on my toast and eat. Her mammary magnificences were putting undue strain on the buttons of her blouse. Serious stuff, man.
Thirdly, say hello to the new girl in accounts, Angie Springfield. Angie could be Vicky Sunshine's younger sister. I was heading down the stairs while she was heading up the stairs. Her top was quite low cut and I had a fine view of her mountainous cleavage; a cleavage so deep that if I were to have fell into it I would have needed grapling gear to get out. I was very careful passing her on the stairs, lest my enormous erection knock her flying.
Last but not least, Sandy Trout, my opposite number on the other product we laughably support. Sandy asked if she could use my PC do run something and I said OK. I lent her my chair but remained standing. Her top was also quite low cut. Need I say more? Sandy said to me, "Why don't you sit down? I could be some time." I declined and said, "I've been sitting down all day. I need to stretch my legs." I think I sounded convincing. Sandy's tits were smaller than the previous 3 ladies, but they were perfectly formed.
Go on. Say it. It's like political correctness never existed, isn't it?
We have a team meeting tomorrow. Secrets may be revealed. A rough agenda has been sent to us including the crucial topic of... wait for it... The Correct Telephone Answering Procedure. So, I'm to take it that my normal opening line of "What the fuck do you want?" isn't correct, then? (That was a joke.) Well, I for one am glad that the Company has it's priorities straight. Fuck the backlog. Fuck the lack of staff. Fuck the problems with the software. Answer the phone correctly. Words fail me. Really they do.
I have got to go. Lorraine is prodding me with a fork to get off the modem.
First up was Lorraine. Lorraine came out of the shower this morning and was headed down the hallway draped in a towel. I asked her to "Give the boys a flash" and she did. Her bosoms jiggled nicely. Good girl.
Second up was Vicky Sunshine in the canteen at lunchtime. I had not seen Vicky since Christmas. She seemed to have put on a bit of weight over the holiday, but so what? Vicky was still scrumptious enough to spread on my toast and eat. Her mammary magnificences were putting undue strain on the buttons of her blouse. Serious stuff, man.
Thirdly, say hello to the new girl in accounts, Angie Springfield. Angie could be Vicky Sunshine's younger sister. I was heading down the stairs while she was heading up the stairs. Her top was quite low cut and I had a fine view of her mountainous cleavage; a cleavage so deep that if I were to have fell into it I would have needed grapling gear to get out. I was very careful passing her on the stairs, lest my enormous erection knock her flying.
Last but not least, Sandy Trout, my opposite number on the other product we laughably support. Sandy asked if she could use my PC do run something and I said OK. I lent her my chair but remained standing. Her top was also quite low cut. Need I say more? Sandy said to me, "Why don't you sit down? I could be some time." I declined and said, "I've been sitting down all day. I need to stretch my legs." I think I sounded convincing. Sandy's tits were smaller than the previous 3 ladies, but they were perfectly formed.
Go on. Say it. It's like political correctness never existed, isn't it?
We have a team meeting tomorrow. Secrets may be revealed. A rough agenda has been sent to us including the crucial topic of... wait for it... The Correct Telephone Answering Procedure. So, I'm to take it that my normal opening line of "What the fuck do you want?" isn't correct, then? (That was a joke.) Well, I for one am glad that the Company has it's priorities straight. Fuck the backlog. Fuck the lack of staff. Fuck the problems with the software. Answer the phone correctly. Words fail me. Really they do.
I have got to go. Lorraine is prodding me with a fork to get off the modem.
# posted by Pynchon @ 7:48 pm 
Comments:
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You remind me of this guy I used to work with. He told me one day that he doesn't stand for sexual harrassment in the workplace - he lays on the desk for it. Rather successful fellow too. Didn't know shit about the software he was trying to implement though.
I think a few ladies are counting their blessings they don't work with you! Still, it's all in the wording. Very entertaining.
We had a very interesting memo sent round the office once on the correct procedure for answering phones. The receptionists were highly insulted, and the rest of us just said "What? We're supposed to pick up the phone now?". I think it was called a "management's complete waste of our fucking time" (MCWooFT). McWooft writes a lot of shit here. We have a lot of full recycling bags...
I won't comment on the breast issue - I don't have breasts big enough to be admired in that way, though I have had plenty of comments about my bum in the past. I think all the necessary fat dropped down to there. Plus, I'm currently trying to explain to the Husband that seeing women purely as sexual objects doesn't necessarily win their respect.
I may have tittered (ehem) while reading your breast report, but really, sir, I cannot approve!
I won't comment on the breast issue - I don't have breasts big enough to be admired in that way, though I have had plenty of comments about my bum in the past. I think all the necessary fat dropped down to there. Plus, I'm currently trying to explain to the Husband that seeing women purely as sexual objects doesn't necessarily win their respect.
I may have tittered (ehem) while reading your breast report, but really, sir, I cannot approve!
I feel suitably chastised.
:-(
I swear before the world and God that in future I will treat all ladies with respect, decorum and dignity.
... Did anybody see Emily Symons on "Emmerdale" this evening? Her norks looked huge, man! It was almost indecent!
:-(
I swear before the world and God that in future I will treat all ladies with respect, decorum and dignity.
... Did anybody see Emily Symons on "Emmerdale" this evening? Her norks looked huge, man! It was almost indecent!
Hey, breasts don't need to be big to be admired! Shape and pertness are important too!
Mr P, did you say 'modem'? Tell me you're not still on dial-up?!
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Mr P, did you say 'modem'? Tell me you're not still on dial-up?!
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