Pynchon

There is a fake polar bear in my living room singing "Jingle Bells". There are decorations and baubles and candles and a nativity scene. Somebody has sent us Christmas cards, which Lorraine has put on the shelf so that I can no longer see the clock. The fruit dish has been moved. I have no idea where the bin is, or Moon The Cat for that matter. The dining room table is full of crap. It is all incredibly annoying.

I have told Lorraine to be gone from the living room by the time the "Lost" double bill starts at 10pm. Reasonable? Yeah.

Let's play screw the chronology.

On Saturday afternoon I went to see "Transporter 2". It is preposterous, ridiculous and laugh out loud funny. I loved every terrible minute of it. Jason Staham was laudably po-faced, humourless and serious throughout. I especially enjoyed Kate Natula as a barely clothed psychopath. Great stuff.

Friday night I watched LB's favourite film of all time, "Beautiful Girls". Incredible cast and it was good, but "The Day The Earth Caught Fire" still has my heart.

Sunday morning I went to see "Mrs. Henderson Presents". It is not bad, but it is pretty much a cliched British picture. Eccentric, funny and rude as well, I suppose. Will Young does sing some nice songs.

Friday night I went to see A-Ha with LB and enjoyed it very much. LB has written very eloquently about the gig elsewhere on teh net, so go and read that if you can find it. What I will say that it was a much more of a rock gig than I would have imagined. Best songs? Oh, easy. "Hunting High And Low" and "The Living Daylights". Morten Harket perhaps is not the Norwegian Sex God that he was in 1985, but he looks way younger than his 46 years. Also, A-Ha fans take teddy bears with them to throw onto the stage, so do that if you are going to see them.

LB has two cats. One is a Blofeld white cat with eyes planning world domination and the other is... I don't really know. I caught a glimpse of a huge cat on the stairs and then it vanished. I think that Blofeld cat took a shine to me because it sat on my lap during "Beautiful Girls". See above.

Moon The Cat sniffed my jeans when I arrived home at Saturday lunchtime. He realised that I had been unfaithful to him with another feline and ignored me for rest of the day.

I had a headache on Saturday night. I struggled through watching the "X-Factor" (Brenda out! Fucking hell!) and then went to bed.

Sunday night Lorraine and I had a massive argument because she had moved some of my magazines. As I said previously, it was an argument about nothing.

LB and Swiss Toni are the tallest men in the East Midlands. Possibly they are the tallest men on Earth. I felt like a dwarf walking down the street with them. Swiss Toni is the spitting image of the technician out of "Spooks". In the pub we talked about music, films and Aston Villa. They both seemed like good guys.

LB and I ate in a Pizza Express. He had the Christmas Pizza and I had the Pollo ad Astra Pizza. Mine was very good. You'll have to ask LB what he thought of his.

Nottingham has a German street market at Christmas time. It is exactly the same as the one in Victoria Square in Birmingham, and I do mean exactly the same except that there were not very many people at the Nottingham market as we walked by.

Is that it? Could be.

Sorry. This is a bit rushed. I will reply to all comments made over the past couple of days, tomorrow.