Friday, November 04, 2005
There is a girl. Let's call her Vicky Sunshine. I sat next to Vicky at work for a couple of years. I thought she was wonderful. We liked the same music, films, television, etc. She was funny. We laughed a lot and flirted and larked about. She introduced me to Goldfrapp and I introduced her to the Scissor Sisters . I think I loved Vicky, or was it just simple lust during what was a difficult time for Lorraine and me? I don't know. We never bumped genitalia even once. I never "crossed the line", although I wanted to. I never told her how I felt. In my heart of hearts I know that she never felt about me the way that I felt about her. I was her friend, nothing more and nothing less. When she moved to another section within the Company, things started to become very dark for me.
I met Vicky's boyfriend a couple of times at shared work events and social occasions. He seemed like a nice enough guy. Of course I hated the cunt on sight. He was tall, macho, physically imposing and practical (I believe he was a car mechanic). In fact he was everything that I am not. Vicky's boyfriend did not talk much; in fact, I do not think he had an opinion on anything. I don't remember him ever talking to Vicky on any of those occasions. Perhaps he was just shy in company. He never danced with her. She loved to dance.
The rumour at the moment is that Vicky has dumped her boyfriend and is now going out with one of the Director's of the Company; a guy I shall christen Luthor Twat. Luthor Twat is in his late 30's. He is tall, handsome (hell if I was the producer of "Casino Royale" I would have cast him as James Bond, not Daniel Craig), successful and a player of women. He has managed to impregnate at least two ladies in the Company that I know of, had affairs with several others and was sharing the MD's secretary's charms with the MD, until the MD got rid of her.
I am very upset about this. What I would like to do is to take Vicky quietly to one side, take her by the arms, give her a good shake and tell her to "wake up", but I won't. It is none of my business. I just do not want her getting hurt.
We still talk when we run into each other. We bumped into the car park a couple of days ago and we talked about the new Goldfrapp album. She had also been to see the Stereophonics recently, and enjoyed them a lot, but thought that the support act the Dead 60's were shit. Later than night I had a dream about her. It was not a sexual dream. I dreamt that we were living together. I was cooking. We sat down and ate a meal and we talked about, of all things, the series of "Love Soup" that recently finished. And then I woke up. It was suburban bliss.
I am 42 and in a relationship. Vicky is 27 and probably having a great time in her new relationship. I am pathetic.
But I do not want her getting hurt. Sue me.
I met Vicky's boyfriend a couple of times at shared work events and social occasions. He seemed like a nice enough guy. Of course I hated the cunt on sight. He was tall, macho, physically imposing and practical (I believe he was a car mechanic). In fact he was everything that I am not. Vicky's boyfriend did not talk much; in fact, I do not think he had an opinion on anything. I don't remember him ever talking to Vicky on any of those occasions. Perhaps he was just shy in company. He never danced with her. She loved to dance.
The rumour at the moment is that Vicky has dumped her boyfriend and is now going out with one of the Director's of the Company; a guy I shall christen Luthor Twat. Luthor Twat is in his late 30's. He is tall, handsome (hell if I was the producer of "Casino Royale" I would have cast him as James Bond, not Daniel Craig), successful and a player of women. He has managed to impregnate at least two ladies in the Company that I know of, had affairs with several others and was sharing the MD's secretary's charms with the MD, until the MD got rid of her.
I am very upset about this. What I would like to do is to take Vicky quietly to one side, take her by the arms, give her a good shake and tell her to "wake up", but I won't. It is none of my business. I just do not want her getting hurt.
We still talk when we run into each other. We bumped into the car park a couple of days ago and we talked about the new Goldfrapp album. She had also been to see the Stereophonics recently, and enjoyed them a lot, but thought that the support act the Dead 60's were shit. Later than night I had a dream about her. It was not a sexual dream. I dreamt that we were living together. I was cooking. We sat down and ate a meal and we talked about, of all things, the series of "Love Soup" that recently finished. And then I woke up. It was suburban bliss.
I am 42 and in a relationship. Vicky is 27 and probably having a great time in her new relationship. I am pathetic.
But I do not want her getting hurt. Sue me.
# posted by Pynchon @ 10:24 pm 
Comments:
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There's probably nothing to stop you from letting her know that you are... well, just concerned for her. The worse that can happen is she tells you to mind your own business, but if you're friends, she should appreciate knowing that you care, and if it does go tits up for her she may well contact you for a comfort coffee. I've had plenty of (male) friends giving me the "just be careful" chat recently, and although I'll take very little notice until it all goes wrong, I've appreciated the support...
In the various places I've worked I have met many people like that.
The attractive woman going out with a bloke who neither talks to her, dances with her or does anything except hang out with his mates.
The boss who goes out with and knocks up practically every decent looking woman in the place.
The sad thing is that the former still shag the latter even when they know he doesn't want a relationship and treats women like shit. But he drives a fast car and earns shit loads.
If it wasn't for the last point I might have sympathy for the women in question but his ways are well known so they deserve none.
Go out with a shit, get treated like shit. It ain't rocket science.
The attractive woman going out with a bloke who neither talks to her, dances with her or does anything except hang out with his mates.
The boss who goes out with and knocks up practically every decent looking woman in the place.
The sad thing is that the former still shag the latter even when they know he doesn't want a relationship and treats women like shit. But he drives a fast car and earns shit loads.
If it wasn't for the last point I might have sympathy for the women in question but his ways are well known so they deserve none.
Go out with a shit, get treated like shit. It ain't rocket science.
You're not pathetic for being attracted to someone younger, or being attracted to someone even if you (or they) are in a committed relationship. It's natural to have attractions to people we consider desirable. A large faux pas would be to act upon it when being in a relationship.
You should voice to her your concerns and that you fear she may get hurt. I wouldn't consider that interfering - it just shows you are a caring friend.
You should voice to her your concerns and that you fear she may get hurt. I wouldn't consider that interfering - it just shows you are a caring friend.
I agree with Ginny. Ya know, sometimes us gals need to hear it from a guy because a guy telling us that another guy is a snake breaks the guy code and the female knows that this dude REALLY must be a snake for another guy to break the guy code and tell you that he is.
perhaps she doesn't know of this fella's chequered history?
don't feel bad that you care that she might get hurt, young man.
don't feel bad that you care that she might get hurt, young man.
Hi John,
I also in agree with Ginny. But you do take some risk. By your assesment of this guy, it will go bad after some (probably short) time period. Then she will say," He was right all along" even if she is initially not too happy with your opinion (love is blind). Nothing wrong with having the hots for your coworker!
I also in agree with Ginny. But you do take some risk. By your assesment of this guy, it will go bad after some (probably short) time period. Then she will say," He was right all along" even if she is initially not too happy with your opinion (love is blind). Nothing wrong with having the hots for your coworker!
Thanks all. The Vicky situation is... unresolved at present. I have not seen her today.
But thanks for the comments, anyway.
But thanks for the comments, anyway.
You should talk to Vicky but it could be risky. Some people resent friends, especially 'work friends' interfering in their personal life...
I would also be in a quandry in that situation.
Finding other people attractive is healthy. I would worry if my wife didn't find other blokes attractive and I'm sure she feels the same about me. I do fancy other women but I choose to be with her... That's gotta be good!
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I would also be in a quandry in that situation.
Finding other people attractive is healthy. I would worry if my wife didn't find other blokes attractive and I'm sure she feels the same about me. I do fancy other women but I choose to be with her... That's gotta be good!
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